The other day I got a jones soda and it said like there was a contest and to text jones or something to a number and then like I got a next back today that I won so then I put in the code on jonessoda.com/utc and i won a sweatband lolz
Last night at Logan’s Roadhouse I said my first “yeehaw” for someones birthday. They dont sing for birthdays, they say 1, 2,3, yeehaw!
Ive never said it before in public being serious. I am becoming a true southerner.
1. I said yeehaw in public
2. I now know what cheese toast and sweet milk are
3. I also know what a “poke” is (it is a bag)
4. Ive gone to walmart in cut off sweatpants and didnt care
5. My father in law wears a biker bandanna and goes to Willie Nelson concerts
6. My neighbors scream at their goats
7. I feed the cows next door dog biscuits
8. My house doesnt have all of the siding on it yet
9. Sometimes I walk my dogs in the yard in a tank top and underwear and I dont care
10. Ive seen someone in person mowing the lawn with a pushmower on a four wheeler
this list will be continued
also i need to write about the crazy patients i take care of at work. im thinking about making some kinda nurse blog.
BEFORE:
I told them that his long face hair was getting in the way so they cut it shorter.
AFTER:
I didnt even recognize him…lol
From VGT:
Below is a list of 100 things that I think every good omnivore should have tried at least once in their life. The list includes fine food, strange food, everyday food and even some pretty bad food - but a good omnivore should really try it all. Don’t worry if you haven’t, mind you; neither have I, though I’ll be sure to work on it. Don’t worry if you don’t recognise everything in the hundred, either; Wikipedia has the answers.
Instructions
1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment at http://www.verygoodtaste.co.uk/ linking to your results.
The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:
1. Venison [when i was a kid, my dad made the best venison jerky.]
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros [i would probably try it, but i dont like eggs, so i probably wouldnt like it]
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue [would try]
8. Carp [i dont think i could make myself eat seafood]
9. Borscht [i am a pollack, remember?]
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari [i dont think i could make myself eat seafood]
12. Pho [i dont eat beef]
13. PB&J sandwich [but i dont like them.]
14. Aloo gobi [LOVE IT]
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream [LOVE IT]
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras [no way]
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters [seafood grosses me out]
29. Baklava [LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT]
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas [LOVE LOVE LOVE THEM. I love all things wasabi flavored.]
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl [yuck. no seafood plz]
33. Salted lassi [never had it salted, only sweet.]
34. Sauerkraut [THE POLISH IN ME LOVES THIS HOT OR COLD OR IN A DISH OR ON CRACKERS OR WITH ANYTHING.]
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat [adam eats it at indian restaurants, but i couldnt eat a goat]
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal [too hot for me]
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala [LOVE IT]
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut [mmm hot n fresh]
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer [delicious!]
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal [never have, never will. i dont like beef or french fries]
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips [yuck. dont let anybody tell you “its just as good as chocolate!”.]
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads [no effing way]
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian [i would try it.]
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers [ive had rose petals on a salad and dandelion pizza…not bad.]
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate [i dont know what this is]
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake [NO EFFING WAY EVAR]
the cows were near the fence this morning beside my house
i wanted to see if they would come closer but i didnt have any cow food
so i fed the cows some dog biscuits
there are also some baby cows
1. Adam was sick for four days this week. Now since Wednesday, I have been sick. Its awful. I wasnt terribly careful while taking care of Adam cuz we thought it was food poisoning, but I guess it wasnt, since I have something now. I also have a bladder infection so that makes things worse. My head feels all weird and confused so if my post doesnt make total sense I apologize. I have had the same headache since last Saturday. As in, I got a headache last Saturday and it still has not gone away. Im nauseated but sometimes I can eat some soup and I keep getting hot and cold and hot and cold.
2. Do you remember in school when you had to go to all those assemblies and pep rallies and what not? That sucked. I am now a college graduate though.
3. I am drinking ginger ale. It is good when you are sick but that is the only time I really drink it. My mom does the same thing.
So, I got the dogs DNA tested to see what breeds they were.
Pepe’s heritage has been up for debate since he was like, 6 months old. When I got him, I was told he was a chihuahua. However, the guy was just selling the puppies because his mom bred them or something and died and had to get rid of them. So yeah, he didnt know anything. At about 6 months old, I had him neutered. After that, he hit a growth spurt. He went from weighing about 6 pounds to weighing about 11 pounds in 3 months or so. 11 pounds is too big to be a purebred chihuahua!
I purchased a dog DNA test kit off the internet. You swab the dogs cheek for cheek cells and send it off. The results came back Wednesday morning. It only took about two weeks.
Results were surprising for Pepe, but make sense.
Toto=
Poodle
+
Bichon Frise
Pepe=
Chihuahua (mostly)
+
Italian Greyhound (which apparently is an actual breed of dog. sometimes referred to as a miniature greyhound cuz they are 15 pounds and under).
So this really made sense for Pepe.
He is built sorta like the Italian greyhound with that big chest thing, tiny waist, longer snout, and long legs. He has big chihuahua ears and is smaller than the greyhound though, with more similar chihuahua markings.
Oh, when looking for a chihuahua picture, this came up:
It looks exactly like Pepe.
This is Pepe close to that age:
his ears even are floppy at the top like that other dog!
weird.
I love to eat and I dont like my face washed afterwards. My brother Pepe and I like to wrestle around all day. Also, I have the stinkiest dog farts ever. I am the cuddliest, fluffiest, best behaved dog in Georgia.
It kinda looks like he is smiling in the picture, weird.
I will miss you Isaac Hayes, even if you were a Scientologist and left South Park because you couldnt take a joke. I hope that scientology had nothing to do with your death. But I bet they killed you.
and i still like Raffi
oh you crazy armenian! you cant talk on the phone with a banana!
When I was little, and my mom converted us to vegetarianism (I was a total vegetarian from age 6 or so to age 18), I naturally resisted. The way she got me to finally stop eating meat was that she told me Raffi was a vegetarian. I guess he actually is. But that is how much I liked Raffi, I stopped eating meat for him.
maybe I should start saying terlit?
i live in georgia is it okay?
just because i live in the south is not an excuse?
i was raised in the north?
i should develop a real bad southern accent.
my accent has already changed just from living here for almost 5 years. i dont know how i feel about. at least not so many people ask me where i am from anymore. they usually tell me they only can tell im not from around here because i talk too fast and because i dont know what sweet milk or cheese toast is.
CHEESE TOAST???
looks like half of a grilled cheese sandwich to me, guys.
apparently i am soooo wrong though blah blah blah its not a sandwich it is freaking toast blah blah
if you didnt know i worked a 12 hour nightshift last night and i slept about 2 hours today and i feel just ridiculous
exibit A:
1. Pepe has all this extra stretchy skin on his neck. I finally captured a picture of how it stretches so far. Notice by the bored look on his face, it is not hurting him in any way.
2. Look at all the tags on his collar. Its way too many. He has:
1. Name and phone number ID tag
2. Catoosa County registration tag
3. Rabies Tag
4. Home again microchip tag
3. Notice the funny color they painted my living room and dining room walls. It is not at all the correct color from what we told them. It isnt even close.
4. Notice Adam still hasnt unpacked his clothes (the box).
5. If you look closely, you can see my garbage bags in the corner with my clothes to give to Goodwill.
exhibit 2 or b
My dogs play a lot and its really cute to watch but hard to photograph. One day I’ll take a video when I feel like it. In this photo, Toto was swatting at Pepe’s head with his fluffy armlegs.
THE END
1. Last night a nurse said to a nursing assistant “Room 345 needs off the terlit”.
2.
40 adorable kitten breads to choose from!
RIP
Dead, Toothless Sharks Found on Rural Road
GRIFFIN, Ga. — State wildlife officials will try to learn Monday how a pile of dead sharks wound up on a rural Spalding County road.
Drivers spotted the six sharks Sunday afternoon on the side of Minter Road near Griffin. Wildlife officials said it appears the sharks died recently.
Griffin residents said they couldn’t believe their eyes.
“I thought they looked like sharks, but I can’t freaking believe it,” said resident Kara Davel. “I think it’s disgusting. People actually dump a lot of trash on this road.”
Wildlife officials said hunting sharks is a crime in Georgia, and could bring the hunter as much as $100,000 in fines.
Officials said they noticed something unusual about the sharks. Each of the six sharks had all of their teeth removed. Whoever killed the sharks had to break the animals’ jaws to get the teeth.
“That is very strange, very strange. I can’t even imagine how they would have ended up there,” said resident Terry Becker.
Officials will retrieve the sharks sometime Monday. Depending on what type of sharks they are, state officials could launch an investigation.
“The fact that they’re wasting all that meat and they’re not using them for anything, I don’t know if that’s legal,” Davel said.
I really like that Purina Beneful dog food bags now come with a resealable zipper top. It keeps my dog’s food fresh, and I dont have to roll the top down or clip it shut.
However, I dont understand why the package of socks I purchased at Walmart today come with a resealable bag top. They are just going in my dresser drawer, and I cannot think of any reason I would need to keep my socks fresh or airtight.
i think that is it.
I just realized I dont take pictures anymore.
I didnt even break my camera this time. I just havent taken any for no particular reason. I have lots of things I could take pictures of.
Im scared that when I am old I’ll be sad I didnt document more things.
Also sometimes when I am under the influence of pain medicine I wonder what I’ll be like when I am old. Do you think I’ll be a sasspants like I am now? Or will I get all old and crotchety and mean and give my nieces and nephews bad presents for holidays like socks or crocheted extra toilet paper roll cozies? Or maybe I will move into a nudist camp. Or maybe after I retire I’ll get tattooed head to toe. Or maybe I’ll have a stroke at 40 and spend my the rest of my life at a nursing home crapping myself and drooling on my shirt.
Dont worry, Im not taking pain medicine just for the sake of it. I slipped in an “unknown substance” in the hall at work and hurt myself and had to go to the ER. I has teh pains.
Please enjoy the photo below of crocheted extra toilet paper roll cozies.
I wasnt gonna say anything, because Im not sure about HIPAA laws and if Im allowed to just say this, but Im gonna, cuz it isnt like Im going to use his name or exact details or anything.
We had an inmate admitted to my unit this weekend at the hospital. I did his admission assessment and talked with him for a little while. He told me he was arrested earlier last week.
When I got home, curiosity got the best of me, and I had to look up his name to see if it said what he had got arrested for anywhere online. He has some pretty serious charges against him, one of which is that he is the top suspect in a recent murder case. The day he told me he was arrested match up with the news article.
Im kinda weirded out a little. He like, killed someone most likely. I touched him on his fat and stinky body.
A deputy sits in the room with them and stuff, so I doubt most inmates would ever try to harm us or anything, but still. His fat stinky hands could have got me, and such.
UPDATE: DUDE, IT issssss HIM! I FOUND ANOTHER ARTICLE ONLINE WITH A MUGSHOT!
