this and that

My teacher always says “you are diabetes” instead of “you are diabetic”. Thats funny to me.

There is this girl in my class named Maria. She is a moron. I have no idea how she’s gotten this far in nursing. She is seriously dangerously stupid:

1. Last semester when we learned about AIDS, the teacher told us that you could get it by vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse, oral sex, etc.

Maria: *raises hand*
Teacher: Yes?
Maria: What is oral sex?
Teacher: *Just looks at Maria*
Maria: Is that where you kiss with your tongues???
Teacher: *visibly embarrassed*

etc etc

2. Today in class we learned about how coke causes chest pains, blah blah blah drug users come in thinking they are having heart attacks.

Teacher:”…so we have to teach our coke users to stop doing it.”
Maria: Drinking coke can give you a heart attack??
3. When men come into the hospital with heart attacks, we HAVE to ask them if they use viagra and if so, when is the last time they did. If not, because of the vasodilation viagra causes, you can kill them if you give them more vasodilators.

MARIA ASKED THE TEACHER WHAT VIAGRA WAS FOR.

Mrs. Moniyung was soooo embarrassed.

my long post is coming soon.

Yesterday I had my youngest patient evar. He was only 17. He had a collapsed lung, which is odd because he is so very young. I asked the nurse I was working under about it, and she told me they were doing a study on young men with collapsed lungs. Apparently, they have had 3 now under 18 that this has happened to, and all three were smokers, had long lean body torsos, and played video games. Now the video games and the smoking together, I can understand. People who play video games are often a bit sedentary so if they smoked and didnt get up and do much, their lungs wouldnt get worked bleh bleh bleh I get it. The long lean body torso, not so much. Anyways, I felt bad for him. He went to have a thoracotomy and do something to keep that lung open.

Anyways, so that was one weird thing…the fact I had a non-old patient.

His father was in the room with him the whole time. He says to me “you look familiar”. I said really, and said I couldnt think of how I’d know him. He asked if I’d ever been at Bradley Hospital. I thought for a second, and remembered I had one lab there from OB class. I told him this, and he’s like “Oh, thats it! You watched my daughter give birth to our first grandchild!”

ISNT THAT WEIRD?

In the hospital today, while eating lunch during my break, a 45 year old or so man kept walking past me. I noticed him because he was talking loudly on his cell phone and the fact that he kept walking by was sort of starting to creep me out. After walking by about 6 times, he finally shut his cell phone, and I actually saw him take off his wedding ring and put it in his pocket. He then walked over to me, sniffed loudly, and said “You smell really good”. I said thank you, and continued eating. He asks me my name, and I point to my name tag and say Emily. He then asks how old I am and, because I want him to leave me alone, I say I am 17. He says “Oh, jailbait, eh?” and tells me he has a nurse fetish, but nevermind because of my age.

To the army today about being a military nurse.

And I bought the aforementioned royal blue scrub top WITH POCKETS! I couldnt find the kind of scrub pants I wanted in royal blue, so I ended up having to get a darker blue. I asked my teacher about it and she said that was fine, and that the top being royal blue was most important. Also, wearing my name tag is important. duhhh. I think they’d make me go home and get it if I did not wear it. I bought a bunch of other stuff too, including some darling mittens. I still hate shopping though.

OH and a south park calendar for this year! This month’s picture is supercute. Its like, the SEXY ACTION SCHOOL NEWS team all standing in a formation with their hairdos and their arms crossed with an exciting SEXY ACTION SCHOOL NEWS logo.

1. Today I started conversations with two people in the campus store while in line to buy my books for this semester. Both people asked slight variations of “Is this your first year here?” and I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE saying “No actually, its my last semester, I graduate in May”. It makes me so happy like you dont even know.

2. They should not let two young black men be the only employees working at one time at Subway. It is a disaster.

3. I cleaned my room for 2 hours today and it doesnt really look like I did anything.

4. My schedule this semester sucks fanny. I have lab every Monday from 6:15am-3:15pm and one 12 hour lab on a SUNDAY (6:30am-7pm). After the first two weeks of class, I have my classes every day from 10am-1pm. I have Adult Health III on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and Pediatrics on Wednesdays and Fridays. My first two weeks starting tomorrow are like these special labs or something so I have all sorts of them, so they are extra bad. And by special labs, I mean 12 hour shifts. 3 days in a row, and all the other days of the week, labs ranging from 3 hours to 5 hours. Prepare for a very grouchy Emily.

5. For dinner I am eating carrots, celery, broccoli, and Dove chocolate.

I am a bit worried/stressed/full of anxiety about this semester though. Ive been both looking forward to it and dreading it. Looking forward to it because it is my last semester of college, and dreading it because its going to be all intense, time consuming, and the whole graduation thing is just going to be a hassle. I would be content not doing the walking thing at all, but of course my mother will not have that. I havent even started yet, and I already feel overwhelmed. I know though that tomorrow I’ll probably feel a bit less anxious because I’ll have a better idea as to what is going on. Also, Im sure this semester is going to go pretty quickly. The last one surely flew by. Im going to be so busy that the same thing will happen as last semester, I wont even realize how fast time is really going.

I dont really feel very happy right now, mostly because of stress related to my school stuff and several other life events. I apologize to anybody reading this that I may have been a bit grouchy to lately, or just simply distant. For anybody who didnt realize that Im totally stressed out, now you know, haha. Anyways, I feel almost miserable right now, but I think it will get at least a little bit better once I get into the swing of things.

Also, I suppose it is a bit exciting but scary to almost be done with school. I kinda feel weird about it. One of the problems I am having is feeling old. Im not old though, I am only 20. That is all terribly young. I think it is very funny that I’ll be taking other’s lives into my hands but I wont even be allowed to purchase alcohol legally yet. That strikes me as so funny.

It will be nice to be done with school and have my own place to live where I can have a freaking television and wear jewelry if I please and not have to hide my ear holes and not have to be home at 11:15 and have decent internet that doesnt block every other website and doesnt kick me off for downloading barely anything. Also, I want to purchase a Shih Tzu. We will live together in happiness and he will be called Cuppy.

He will look just like that.

Leave me cheerful comments. I needs them.

I studied until very late last night and got up early to study again for my test and I still didnt do that great.

The stupid thing only had 25 questions. That means you cant miss like, any.

I got an 18/25, or a 72%. The teacher explained though that all the tests were added up together and then figured out, so the 7 I missed wouldnt end up being that big of a deal. SUREEEEE.

I cry.
(when I first typed that, it came out “I fry.”, just so you know.)

I am some sort of sick. I woke up this morning and couldnt breathe. Not like, “im so congested and plugged up I cant breathe” but “omg my throat is constricted something is wrong i am suffocating” type. I ended up having to go to urgent care and be injected in the fanny with solumedrol and in the arm with epinephrine. It was not pleasant.

But I am alive.

PS- I made a 94% on my nursing test.

I got a 90% on my nursing test. I am so awesome I cant even believe it. I about peed my pants.

Also, I am riding home with my sister to Ohio today. This means I have to sit on my fanny for 8 hours or so. If you know me, YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CALL ME. Im going to be sooo bored.

If you dont know me, you can call me anyways if you want. I’ll turn AIM on my phone on. message me on iusemyseatbelt and I’ll totally give you it. Thats how bored I will be.

I cant even stop at Adult World XXX massive warehouse in northern TN cuz of my sister. Its like the biggest porn store Ive ever seen. It even has ADULT ARCADE GAMES. I have to visit it one day.

My lab was boring tonight, but my patient just came in today and they decided he has to have open heart surgery to replace his aortic valve and have several bypasses. Ive always wanted to see heart surgery, so I am excited. I should be able to go unless the doctor has some objection (they usually dont since i am just some student not asking questions and being quiet and watching out of the way).

They are both very interesting procedures, so I am excited to see them, both on the same patient at the same time! It will be neat. Standing for 6 hours wont. haha.

If I pass out I’m going to be pissed off. Sometimes people pass out from standing that long+the gore. pshaw.

they told us in gym class lecture that if you feed your kids milk or milk products, they will have a low IQ and wet the bed.

They also said if ANYONE drinks caffeine, it will lower their morality.

the mexicans have sign language. lol!

[i found this as a draft. i have no idea why i wrote it…or why i wrote it and never posted it. its from forever ago.]

Tonight at lab I got to see another c-section. The black baby that was born had 6 fingers on each hand. The extra finger was beside the pinkie finger and had no bones. It did have a fingernail though. It was super weird. If you would like to see a picture of sort of what it looked like and arent grossed out by weird medical stuff, click here. Also, its mother had gestational diabetes, so he was really fat and fluffy and had huge boobs. So big that the nurse practitioner even said he looked like he could use a bra.

A different black baby girl at the hospital got named Bixby. That is SO awful.

why do they make us, college students, take freaking gym class?

one of the activities today was crabwalk soccer. in the words of steven, am i in middle school still or what?

i dont think the real point of this class is to teach us how to be physically fit. i think its just to humiliate us.

In nursing, our level of nursing student is split into two groups. One is taking one nursing class half the semester, and the other is taking the other. Then at midterm, we switch.

My friend Krystal is in the other class. She told me a story of a girl in that class named Maria. Maria is stupid.

Apparently they were learning about some STD process when the teacher mentioned that not only is it spread through sexual intercourse, but oral sex as well.

Maria raised her hand and said “What is oral sex? Is that were a man and woman kiss with their tongues?”

I guess everybody tried not to laugh as then the teacher asked if she needed to explain what oral sex was. She did, infront of the class.

I passed my nursing test!

She put 3 extra questions on the test though and those arent factored in yet, so I probably did better than what it showed me I did (nursing tests are all taken on computers so you get an instant score).

I am so freaking smart that I got a 92%, hoorah! Maybe higher than that if I got any of the extra questions. I know I did though….I just checked one of the extra question’s answers that I wasnt sure about and I got it right. So I at least got a 94%. If I got all the extra questions I could have gotten up to a 98%. Probably not, but I at least got a 94% and that is super awesome to the max because its an A! I am excited for myself.

Everybody please pat me on the back.

In class we learned about transduction, which is basically how bacterial viruses replicate. The virus bacteriophage thing lands on a bacterium, injects DNA into it with a needle looking thing, and the dna totally pwns the bacterium and takes over the cell function and makes it create tons of new little virus babies to the point where the bacterium explodes open with all of them. Then they go out and do the same.

 My teacher thinks bacteriophages look like space vehicles. I think they look like evil creepy alien spider things. They seriously creep me out. Go here to see them in animated action. Scroll down to see their little method of doing their thing. If these things became life size suddenly and I saw one, I’d probably crap myself.

If you didnt feel like seeing the animation, here are a few different types of good pictures:

this picture is amazingly neat! but scary!

I cant stand insects with long yucky legs. Even like in caves with those cave cricket things, I freak out. Grossness. Most other bugs dont really bother me, I just dont like them. But man….long legged things get me.

I DONT LIKE SPIDERS. Sometimes if I think about them too much before bed I have to check to make sure there are none in my bed.

One time my brother was sitting on a stool at my old house and he had a spider in his bangs and I started freaking out and I was like omg Richie there is a spider in your hair! And he’s like "nuh uh". And I said yes there is omg. So he just said whatever and continued eating his cereal. I was seriously like grossed out and so I went a got a mirror and he looked and sees this black spider in his bangs on his forehead and starts screaming at the top of his lungs and he hit himself so hard in the forehead he fell off his stool backward.

Finally I am hoping there is progress with this yucky room! I dont remember if Ive posted about it or not, but my room is gross and moldy and damp. Ive complained 4 times and had them look at my AC, but the lady just kept getting sassy with me. I told her how damp my room was and she’s like (with a bad attitude….that pissed me off…alot….cuz she is always like that) "Well, honey…it isnt going to be dry in there. Its 100 degrees outside and 100% humidity". I say "well, it isnt as damp in the hall and in the rest of the building….." because her explanation only makes sense if I like have my window open or something. ACs are supposed to filter that crap.  Anyways, Ive complained to two deans, including the head deans, in person. Nothing has been done.

So…I told my microbiology teacher about it. She told us at the beginning of the first day of class that she has a particular interest in molds, so I knew she’d be interested. I told her how I’ve been sick and have headaches, etc. and how the school hadnt fixed anything, so she said she’d help. Today after lab we took 4 petri plates to have the air (which could have spores and such that are making me sick) so it can settle on them. We put one about a foot from the AC vent, one on my sink, one on my pillow, and one on the toilet seat to see the concentration in different areas. Im supposed to leave them there for 2 hours.

Then we took three sterilized swabs and make one swab of the mold from my AC vent slat things, one from the track on my closet (which has had mold on it previously), and one from the wall above the AC vent.

Then we needed a control room. She said I needed to find someone in a room as close as possible to mine that would let me put them in their room and do swabs there. I walked down the hall and realized two girls from my micro class were sharing a room 3 doors down across the hall. They were of course fine with it and understood what I was doing and thought it was cool. Dr. Foster simply told me to choose a room with no odor like mine, and I didnt smell one in their room, but their AC had more mold in it than mine did (Ive cleaned mine several times and have spray bleached the inside that I cant reach…so naturally mine is decently clean). I am going to call her soon to see if that is a problem and if I need to redo a room with no mold or anything.

She said the mold should be all grown and we’d see what was there on Monday, so hopefully if there is harmful stuff or anything at all that WOULD be interfering with my allergies that she can report, I will get some action on my room as far as replacement of nasty crap.  She said she will write the school a paper with her findings.

Microbiology class actually isnt too bad. Its hard, of course, but getting to see stuff cultured from places you swab is really interesting. For instance, our lab yesterday was on transmission and such of bacteria, so we made like 20 something  cultures (if you think sciency stuff is boring you can skip this part:

We did one where like I (we took turns mostly) wiped my unwashed fingers on half a petri plate, then washed them with regular (non antibacterial) to see the difference. Result: There were more germs after washing my hands.

We did one where Amy (one of my lab partners…we have a group of 3 cuz somebody dropped the class so I let her join us) did the same as the last one, but instead of regular soap, used antibacterial. Result: Same, except that the presence of gram negative bacteria was the same, but the gram positive was mostly all killed.

We did one kind of investigating sterile technique. Matt (other lab partner) swiped his unwashed hand on half the petri dish, then washed his hands with the same type of surgical scrub used at hospitals and then used sterile technique to put on sterile gloves. He left the sterile gloves on his hands for 30 minutes. Then he took them off and swiped the petri dish on the other side. Result: His hands had like 3x more bacteria on them afterwards. That is why its important to wear gloves during surgery!

We all did one where we divided the petri dish into thirds and sterile swabbed our lips. Amy’s didnt have much growth (which was odd…she probably didnt swipe enough on there), but me and Matt’s were FULL of bacteria. We had to rate the growth of colonies from 0 (no growth) to +4 (colonies covering most of the area), and me and Matt’s were definate 4s. We made jokes the rest of the lab session about this, such as if you had a microbiologist husband you could kiss a petri plate and it would make a big lip shaped colony of bacteria in the shape of lips, since there is so much of it on your lips, etc.

We did one experiment with coins. Most people think they are disgusting, right? You would never kiss a penny, but if you did it’d be cleaner than kissing somebody else’s lips! We swabbed them and barely anything grew. All of the class was so confused…cuz everybody knows coins are filthy. She told us that silver and copper that coins are made of have natural antibiotic properties to them and dont really carry much. I thought that was kinda neat. Dont kiss any paper money though.

We all did one experiment where we could choose whatever we wanted to swab for culturing. Amy chose the spout on the water fountain. There were germs in it. Matt did the mouth part on his cell phone. It didnt really have any germs on it…but then we realized that most people dont cough into the phone while using it since that is mostly rude, and they are constantly put in and out of pockets, wiping any germs probably off. Now, what Ive wondered for forever, is what I did my culture on. "Ear Funk". I dont know what else to call it, thats just what I have heard everyone else call it. If you dont have piercings (especially large gauge ones…cuz more surface area to notice it) or dont know or have extraordinarily clean piercings, this off whitish beigish crap builds up on them…and it STINKS SO BAD. I dont know of many other things that are worse to get shoved under your nose than a plug out of someone’s ear or their fingers after they mess with them. It smells for forever, also. I think I would rather hold a turd under my nose for an hour than a plug. Its really foul. Especially when you are just sitting there and someone shoves it under your nose and you arent expecting it and breathe in through your nose. So yes, I’d been wondering why this smells so bad, and if it was because of bacteria (I was pretty sure it was…and I wanted to see it). So, when the teacher wasnt looking (Im not allowed to have jewelry at school for readers who dont know. Also I use a lot of parenthesis. Is that spelled right?) I took out my one of my plug and swabbed my plug. It grew more than any other culture we had. It was TERRIBLE looking and everywhere. Like it was a forest and the whole entire third of the tray that was mine was full. Usually you get a few colonies to a line of them along your swab lines, but mine had grown over them and was pretty much solid. Here is an example of kind of how the culture stays on the lines (you can see where this person swabbed in a weird way…usually you just make one of the "sets" of squiggles he has. I dont know why you’d make multiple ones on top of each other….that makes it hard to see). So yeah, my ears are gross.

Im not sure if any of the others were of particular interest…but we did learn in class today that hand sanitizers arent very good for you to use…so stop it. 

i found this online. hot.

stryper is teh sexy 

1. A conversation at the hospital between a patient man and a female visitor:

Man: Whoo doggy do I got a car for you! And a dang good one too! A DANG good one.

Visitor: Really? What is it?

Man: Its a 1981 Chrysler Lebaron. Dang good car. DANG good car. This baby only has 300,000 miles on it, too. Dang good car here.

Visitor: I should write that name down (gets out pen and paper). Wait…how do you spell Chrysler?

Man:  C-I-S-T-H-R-L-E-R.

Visitor: Ok got it, now how do you spell Lebaron?

Man: Hm. You got me on that one.

2. A complaint from a patient:

Patient: My middle name is Harrison but they keep spelling it wrong.

Emily: (looks at patients chart)

Patient: My middle name is Harrison.

Emily: (sees that on the chart it says his middle name is Buttram) (stifles laughter) I’ll notify someone immediately.

3. A task:

Nurse: [Patient] needs suppository. Want to do it?

Emily: (thinks NO) Okay…

Nurse: Ok here it is (hands Emily cup with lube and suppository)

Nurse: (spreads patients buttocks)

[emily and nurse get close to patients buttocks to put suppository in]

Patient: (farts)

Nurse: (bangs blow back) 

Emily: [omg.]

lol i had a really long title for this post but it wouldnt fit right so here is the continuation:

I just need to get it out, etc. Plus this is my freaking blog so I can post whatever I want and I can be as emo as I please and post whatever complaining and whining and crying I feel like and my faithful readers can ignore it and/or comfort me but i’ve just had such a bad month and i really apologize and YOU DONT HAVE TO READ THIS IF YOU DONT WANT TO

how do you like the plugs i just ordered from kaos softwear? arent they adorable?

also, the situation with the nurse and underwear and falling alseep thing has gotten worse. i’ll post more details later, but basically, i called my instructor last night to ask again about getting a new assignment and so basically she interrupts me, says she cant talk to me about this because the nurse manager has just called her and she needs to talk to someone else first and she’ll call me back. So pretty much even though both problems are taken care of, the nurse manager has made such a big deal out of this that shes told my school about them, and I have to have a meeting with Jaclynn, my instructor, and Dr. James, one of the heads of the nursing department, on sunday. I asked, politely, on the phone, if I could know the subject matter of the meeting. She said me falling asleep, "uniform issues", and just some other concerns. This pisses me off more than anything because I’ve already fixed both of those issues and there is no way there is any other concerns because Ive done nothing wrong. Ive seriously gone out of my way to be helpful if anything. Seriously…how is this such a big deal that they had to get me in trouble with my school??

#1 Issue- Falling Asleep: I totally apologized to my nurse, the student nurses who were in the room, and the nurse manager. These are the only people this directly even matters to. I mean, if I fell asleep in a room full of babies that I was supposed to be watching to make sure they didnt die and I was alone and fell asleep, yeah, this would be a major issue. But I had been sitting in a chair for literally 5 hours, there wasnt ONE baby in the room, etc. Plus I already took care of it and my nurse was just like oh well just dont let it happen again, joked about it, and I thought it was taken care of since I admitted I did something wrong and was unprofessional, and apologized and she had even joked about it. This is why I was surprised when the charge nurse even knew about it.

#2 Issue- My Pants: This is even more taken care of and stupid than the first issue. Seriously. It shouldnt really even be an issue. It would be an issue if I did it on purpose. It would be an issue if I had worn those panties with the writing on the back that said something obscene and you could read it through my pants. It would be an issue if I was belligerent about changing my pants and lost my temper. I was so nice and polite though and just explained that these were my school uniform pants and after wearing them for two semesters, it had not been brought to my attention that you could see through them, that I was very sorry and hoped I hadnt offended anyone, and I asked what I should do to fix the problem, including asking permission to wear a different colored darker scrub pant. She had said yes, so I went that night since I had to work the next day also and bought black scrub pants, which when I showed my nurse I was wearing she said they looked much nicer and more professional anyways. Also I might add she said they made me look much thinner. So doesnt it sound like even if this was a problem that its totally taken care of and doesnt need my school dragged into this one in the least bit, other than if the nurse manager wanted to call the school and tell them that we need to be assigned to wear different pants.

#3- "Other Concerns": There are no other freaking concerns that my nurse or the nurse manager could bring up. Ive done nothing but wait hand and foot on my nurse and everyone else. Ive done their dirty work. Ive done sooo much crap I dont have to do. I even have done stuff wednesday for another nurse so that my nurse and her could gossip. Yeah, thats right. They asked me if I’d go in and check on a patient and take them coffee because they wanted to talk. Of course I actually dont mind doing it that much since I really dont have anything else to do and sit around mostly, Im just using this example to show that Ive done everything I can to be helpful. Ive freaking even delivered dinner trays for a tech who wanted to leave early. Ive folded blankets. Ive taken people ice. Ive cleaned things. None of these being my job or giving me any nursing practice at all. Im just so upset that Ive gone out of my way to be helpful and they are getting me in trouble with my school.

#4- My Concern: Im scared to death that their "other concerns" is my nurses doings since she doesnt like me obviously. If she has gone as low to have tattled on me for wearing jewelry in my ears since I know she’s noticed it (although I always keep my hair over my ears in school as to not get in trouble since no jewelry is allowed), and also having a visible tattoo. If she’s mentioned any of these things then its totally just out of spite because she isnt an SDA anymore (she made it clear to me that she LEFT the church and sounded pissed about it) so she shouldnt care, and she obviously knows that my school doesnt allow jewelry. I can so see her, just out of spite, mentioning something just to get me in trouble about how I act unprofessionally and EVEN HAVE VISIBLE JEWELRY AND TATTOO.

If she’s done this, and they dont give me a new assignment, how the crap am I going to face her on monday for work?  "Oh Hi Paula, how are you today? Good, Im fine too, except the fact that you freaking told on me, got me in trouble with my school, I had to have a meeting with two people yesterday and (if the jewelry and tattoo gets brought up) Ive had to remove my earrings which Ive been working on stretching for months and have cost me alot of money and also been ordered to keep my tattoo covered at all times. Oh, also! Ive been fined $100 dollars for the jewelry/tattoo lesson, which will sure teach me a lesson!".

Ugh. I hate her. I cant think of anything else she’d have on me. Like I said, Ive constantly asked what I can do for her and everyone else and I do it. If she has made up things about me, if I get in trouble because of my ears, or they dont give me a turn to talk and explain myself and also bring up concerns of my own, Im going to be so super pissed.

Ive already talked to my mom about changing schools if they treat me nonrespectfully tomorrow. Im already prepared to look into whatever I have to, because Im just so tired of the hassle and how everyone treats me. I really get treated badly, and Im not being paranoid.

At first I was just like "why me?" but after talking about it with a good friend, I know why it is. Its because I dont fit the little blonde cute nursing girl mold. Im different and I have my own ideas and adventists cant deal with it. Ive been pretty tolerant thus far, because Im not really a quitter, but what gets me is that I am smarter than a good portion of the girls (and a few boys…I guess I should say students) in my class. Im a valuable student at this school in that way and also that my parents are large supporters of Southern as well. We dont have debt like most students; we pay our $40,000 for me and my sister in cash at the beginning of each semester. My parents donate, my parents are influential, and my grandparents serve on the conference head. Plus, they dont know my mom. She’s as pissed off as I am and Ive told her not to but if things go bad on Sunday Im sure they will be getting a very unpleasant call from a very pissed off mother. 

My mom is pretty supportive of me. It made me upset though the other night when it came up in conversation about them having something against me for being different. I got mad and said that it is stupid that im not treated fairly because I dont match them and my mom said maybe that I should. She’s always been ok with me being "different" and having my own ideas, etc, and when she sort discouraged me it really made me upset. I just dont feel like I should have to compromise who I am because of someone else’s agenda. And yeah, black hair and piercings and the way I dress and act arent "who I am" and are things I could work on, but as christians shouldnt they just extend the same hand of welcome to every student? Im not even that different anyways. There are kids here acting 10x worse than me and stuff. Im a good (student) nurse, Im smart, Im attentive in class, I ask questions, I help out other students, and even though my grades dont completly reflect it, im in the top part of my class. I mean, take for example last semester in adult 1 class’ lab. I was the only student in my lab group checked off to do blood sugar checks alone. In fact, I went around with my classmates and instructed them on how to do it. That is another thing that is good about me as a student for them; Im very indepedent. When I have my assignment I do it and I dont need help or someone to go with me. I’d do blood sugar checks for other nurse’s entire halls because no other students could do it right. Blood sugar checks arent even hard in the least part, which is what baffled me. Anyways, Im totally bragging but I have a right. Im a good student and they need to treat me like one.

Im really frustrated.  When they gave me a note my first semester of nursing saying I needed to dye my hair a natural color, they added on there that they "knew I liked to be different". I dont like to be different, I just like to be Emily and Emily likes having black hair and piercings and a tattoo (both of which are normally covered) and wearing what she wants and I dont think there should be anything wrong with any of that. I AM NOT SINNING. Im not going to go to hell for any of this.

Ive tried so hard these last two semesters to put up with all the crap I keep getting but its getting so hard to tolerate. Im getting really discouraged. I really hope this meeting on sunday is just "ok these are the issues. oh, you’ve already gotten them taken care of? good job. sorry for wasting your time." and letting me go.

If something drastic happens I dont know what I am going to do. Ive just had so much stress and emotional stress especially this month that I dont know if I can deal with anything else. I feel like Im going crazy over here. I just dont know how much more I can be handed before I cant deal anymore. I hope that they arent all mean about the meeting. Im so scared they’ll push the wrong buttons on me and I’ll be so stressed out that I’ll just crack and end up getting defensive and disrespectful. Thats how horribly stressed out I am. Ive been snapping at everyone and thats part of why Im not getting along with my parents or anyone else. I just need some time to relax and I need for people to be humans around me instead of retards and monsters and turds.

I guess Im just at a point right now where I almost just dont care anymore. I just want this all to be over with. I want to be done and I want to relax. I dont even care that much how it goes on Sunday. They could kick me out at this point for all I care, good riddance. I can go give my parents money to another school that is better than southern.

Im really thinking about two options right now; Kettering and Andrews. Two colleges that are actually closer to my house (bleh) but I have friends there at both colleges and bunches of them around Kettering also. Andrews is in Michigan, which I dont really want to do because its just too freaking cold al year round almost there and the kids are kinda stuck up…but there are like 6 or so kids there I graduated with, including like Jamie and Fritz and Heidi, all of which I’d have to hang out with. Also at Andrews the religious meeting requirement is less, and there isnt a jewelry rule. Kettering is in Dayton, OH and I know three people who go to school there, two of them are in nursing there actually, which will be helpful. Also, I have a group of friends I graduated with that live in the area too, so I have them to hang out with. Also, my ex boyfriend Chris lives in Dayton, so since I used to hang out there all the time, I know lots of people, and we are still friends so he’ll totally help me make friends too. And I really like Dayton for some reason. So yeah, those would be the first two schools I’d be looking into. My parents will only pay for me to go to an adventist school, btw. There are various ones scattered about the nation, also, that I could choose from. Maybe I should go to an overseas one for my last year of school, haha. The most popular ones to attend are in London, Australia, and Italy. Might be fun. I dont think I want to do that though. I could go to Loma Linda, California. My aunt and uncle actually live there and are neurologists at the school’s hospital. Which, I may add, is very prestigious. They were like the first hospital to do the ape heart transplant, and other cool stuff like that. I bet they’d even let me live with them. It might be a good change of scenery, and there are lots of asian boys in california. My uncle is asian. He’s chinese, so like their kids are cute little half asians. Except the youngest, who they adopted from china. So she’s ultra asian. And they love me, so I could fit in there well. That might be neat but I dont think I want to be that far away from my family and friends.

Ugh, I suppose I have a lot to think about today before the meeting, like what responses I am going to have and what Im going to do if things turn bad, which will turn my thinking time into weeks instead.

Keep me in your prayers if any of you do that, and the rest of you think of me tomorrow or cross your fingers for me or do whatever you do. I really dont want it to go bad, I just want to finish my last year here and be done with all this crap. I want to just get done next summer, find a place to live, and finally be free from the chains of adventist persecution, and relax. If any hot mens reading this want to date me, that’d be cool too cuz Im getting bored.

Anyways, keep me in mind tomorrow. I need it. 

Ive had a bad last two days. Im getting frustrated with my seemingly bad luck with things. I guess you know how like stuff builds up and then you feel like youre going to explode? Its like that.

 I hate working 12 hour shifts; my nurse was scheduled for today and yesterday both. Standing up for pretty much 12 hours this often is killing me. I already have back problems and my back hurts sooo bad like within 4 hours. Not to mention my feet hurt too. 12 hours is just sooo long to do almost anything. I wish we could do 8 hour shifts.

Yesterday was horrid. I did actually get to work on time for the first time so far. That was a good thing. The first part of the day goes pretty quick, until about lunch time. Then like all the moms are awake and the babies are with the moms in their rooms and I have nothing to do. While I dont really like babies, at least they give me something to do. I fed my first baby and changed a diaper for the first time yesterday. As in, Ive never done either in real life or work or nothing. It went fine. A little too fine. There was another student nurse there and she’s all saying how Im so naturally good with babies and asked how many kids I have. I was kind of put off I suppose, but replied and said I didnt have any, and that I was only 19. She made a surprised face and said she thought I was older and that I look very mature. She was kinda old. She was 29 and had one kid. I dont know how I felt about that conversation. She was nice though. Once all the babies left yesterday though, it was miserable. There was NOTHING to do. I sat in a chair for 6-7 hours, literally. I was sick the night before last and then did not sleep at all before work so I was tired but had been doing ok. After the first 3 hours of sitting there, I dozed off for like 10 minutes and then woke up to like ten people around me laughing at me because I fell asleep. My nurse yelled at me and told me if I was an employee I would have been fired. She then resumed doing her paperwork and I sat there for another 4 hours. So why the crap did it matter that I dozed off? It wasnt like I was doing anything anyways. Im getting really sick of sitting around doing nothing and asking like every 10 minutes if there is anything I can do. It isnt like I just sit to be lazy. I constantly ask if I can do anything, thats how bored I am. It must be horribly annoying. Its probably literally every 10 minutes that I ask if there is something I can do. Thats how I end up doing stupid crap like putting labels on things or folding blankets or taking people ice.

So anyways, me and the other student nurse see some magazines. We ask if we can read them cuz we are bored. The nurse says oh yes sure go ahead, you can do whatever you want, YOU JUST CANT SLEEP, and glared at me. I was just like whatever and started reading gay magazines. Like an hour later my nurse is like um….the head charge nurse wants to talk to you emily. So I am all wtf and then figured she wanted to talk to me about like practicum and when I’d be finished or something like that.  She took me in a conference room and started explaining to me rudely that "the whole hospital knew I was wearing thong underwear" and that you could see through my pants and that she didnt think me wearing white pants was appropriate. And I was like um…well…this is kind of my school uniform and I am wearing white underwear and I didnt mean to be inappropriate or whatever. She was so snotty and was all saying how everyone else noticed, and not just her, and that everyone was talking about me. Why even tell someone something like that? First of all, who cares, and second of all that is like kind of super rude. So I was like what do you want me to do about this, it isnt like you couldnt see my underwear if I wore any other kind and this is my school’s nursing uniform….and she is like yeah go buy some dark pants we dont want to see your underwear. She was such a snot. I then went back into the nursery and the other student nurse was like omg are you ok are you upset are you sooo embarrassed????? and Im like um no…I wasnt embarrassed, I was pissed off that that stupid woman confronted me with that attitude. So I totally had to go to walmart (seeing as to how I had to work today too and its the only place that sells scrub pants at that time of night) and buy black scrub pants. Oh yeah and then my nurse is all yeah I didnt want to say anything so I had her talk to you but I didnt want any men or anything saying anything to you. I was so pissed off….I mean, she is my nurse and the one who is really in charge of me, and it pisses me off that she couldnt just tell me myself and had to tell the head person on the unit to yell at me for it like I was in trouble or something. Also, the charge nurse talked to me about falling asleep for 10 FREAKING MINUTES like it was 5 hours or something….ugh. And it really was ten minutes, dont think I am just saying that. Believe me, I watch the clock constantly because I cant wait to get out of there. I was so pissed off at my nurse for telling on me. I mean come on…why the crap would she tell on me? Like I said, my nurse is in charge of me. I am not an employee of the hospital so like having a charge nurse talk to me isnt really necessary. I was just so mad yesterday, I hate my nurse. She is very knowledgable in her area and whatnot, but she is a careless nurse and is rude, besides. She doesnt even set a good example for me as a student. If I had a student working under me as a nurse, I’d totally like be mega careful and do everything exactly right like since someone is trying to learn from me. She does stupid crap though. Like she gives meds without knowing what they are…..and that upsets me. I mean, like the other day she gave some medication and then when we looked at the medication schedule for her patients I saw that it said to only give that medicine with food, and it was so early in the morning that the patient she gave the medicine to hadnt had breakfast yet. That means she gave it on a pretty much empty stomach, since it was like 7 am and dinner is at 5pm the day before. I mean, that example isnt that big of a deal really other than stomach irritation possibly, but she does it all the time. She’ll be like hmm I have no idea what this is oh well and give it to the patient. I’d never do that, out of being scared I’d hurt someone, you know? I mean what if you made someone sick or (worst case scenario) they died because of your medication error cuz you didnt check? Its just stupid and bad nursing practice. She also recaps needles. You dont recap needles…and if you HAVE or NEED to, then you dont just pick up needle caps and put them on. There is a special way to do it to avoid contamination and also accidental needle sticks. I know to most of you reading this most of this doesnt mean anything to you, but it really is bad nursing practice and especially to do around a student who is learning. She did something potentially very dangerous today even. Here is a super sad story which shall include my nurse’s bad practices.

We had a 17 year old patient, who for confidentialities sake, we’ll call Sarah. Sarah goes to the doctor with bad stomach pain. They say oh its probably just your appendix, here is some antibiotics. Sarah takes them. It gets worse. They tell her to continue the medicine. It gets horribly worse so she goes to the hospital again. This time they decide to do some tests and LO AND BEHOLD she did have an infected appendix, that because the doctor didnt get checked out, had now ruptured and caused a major absess in Sarah’s abdomen. Now this absess of major infection is spreading and goes into her uterus. So yeah now Sarah is at our hospital because she has had to get a hysterectomy and removal off all the infected crap in there. Thats sad enough as it is, because most 17 year old girls need their uteruses cuz they want to have kids…she’d never even had sex even because it said in her chart that her hymen was still intact. She also had to get her ovaries and everything removed because the infection was massive. Too bad though for Sarah, because they totally screwed her surgery up and clipped her colon without realizing this until just yesterday when she is pooping out her vagina. The girl cant even get out of bed and walk around or anything because when she does all the waste in her bowels just falls out of her vagina. Thats the saddest/grossest surgery mistake ever. The whole situation was just horrible…I mean this girl is only 17 and already has to be on hormones since she doesnt have female organs anymore. I felt so bad for her. She was like sitting there having hot flashes and just sweating so much her face and stuff were wet. I gave her a shot in her stomach. Im so good that she was like hey, usually it hurts but your technique didnt hurt at all! Anyways, when we came in to do our AM assessment, knowing that this girl has open wounds on her stomach from surgery that are obviously infected, I would not touch bare skin with my hands or a stethoscope (which the nurse uses on babies and other patients which totally dont need any of those germs) without gloves or a stethoscope cover, but she did anyways. Bad nursing practice. I never touch patients like that unless I am covered….I mean, not only for my protection but because I could have a germ on my hands that could transmit to them also, even though I wash my hands and use alcohol on them 6000000+ times a day (not really that many but i have to wash and/or alcohol before touching anybody and then also when leaving their room and between each baby in the nursery so it really is soooo many times that my hands hurt at the end of the day). So then we get the labs and cultures back for Sarah an hour or so later. It turns out she has an infection so terribly bad that its vancomycin resistant. Vancomycin is like a super hardcore antibiotic…..like its so strong that there is only like one other one stronger than it. Like her infection is so serious that they are treating her with that other antibiotic and if it doesnt respond to this one, there isnt really anything else they can do. I cant remember the name of the organism, but thats a pretty big deal to have a bug that nothing can kill. She will die if this antibiotic doesnt work. So…lets think about this. My nurse was touching this girl’s stomach with her bare hands and stethoscope, not knowing what kind of infection she has or anything. Soooo stupid. I mean, this case was so serious that after we got the results from the lab we had to wear gloves and plastic aprons like in surgery just to go in the room, and like infection control had to come and put up signs to make sure that this super bug doesnt get spread. Im so paranoid anyways when I work at the hospital about wearing gloves and washing that I just dont see how my nurse could be so careless. Anyways, that case was so horribly sad and extreme. It was so awful that when we told her that she had a super bug and we had to wear protective stuff and so did her mother when we are in the room that like she started crying and it was awful.

My nurse was working on the side unit today with like also gyn surgery. That is why Sarah was there. So I didnt work with babies at all today…just adult women who were all super sick. It was strange that every single one of my nurse’s patients were so terribly sick except one. Like, in the morning one of our patients almost stroked out on us. She was eclamspic and like her blood pressure was crazy out of control. Ive never seen anything like it. Like we took her BP and it was 180 over something and so we gave her BP lowering medicine. We figured she’d be ok and then came back to check her BP in an hour. It had gone up to almost 200 instead of coming down with the medicine! Like she was all like crazy sick and everyone was freaking out (oh ps your top blood pressure number should be between 110-120 to be normal for you non medical types). We couldnt get ahold of a doctor for forever but  finally we did and moved her to a different unit. It was crazy. Maybe Amy will appreciate this post even if most of you dont.

My nurse makes random rude comments all the time. I dont like it. Like once we were just standing in the hall and she’s like "man! your legs are short". Not necessary. Then today she said infront of Sarah and her mom that I had short fat fingers. I dont really care about either comment, its just that its kinda rude and not necessary. She also asked me if I was a mexican more than once. I DONT LOOK MEXICAN! THE STUDENT NURSE YESTERDAY ASKED ME IF I WAS GREEK! I DO NOT LOOK GREEK! WHY IS EVERYONE OBSESSED WITH MY ETHNIC BACKGROUND???I FREAKING LOOK AMERICAN/EUROPEAN/CAUCASIAN/WHITE. Argh, that pissed me off too. Also, in the elevator on the way out yesterday a black man was in the elevator with me and he asked me if I was wearing a wig. wtf if that supposed to mean? My hair doesnt look like plastic.When I responded with um no he asked who did it and I was like um me and he’s like when and i was seriously about to say wtf are you talking about but i said um this morning? Seriously, why would you ask someone when they did their hair? Isnt it kind of a given that people do their hair in the morning before work? I dont know anybody who brings a blow dryer and curling iron and hairspray to do their hair mid work. Gosh. What is wrong with people???

So yeah today I had to only do a half day of work. Im getting so frustrated with my body; I dont understand why I keep getting sick and stuff lately. My kidneys started acting up so badly that I was in so much pain I was sweating and flushed and my nurse even noticed something was wrong without me even having to say anything. Ugh. And of course I am out of my medicine I take when this happens so I had to go through the hassle of having a presciption called to a pharmacy here and going to pick it up and crap. Im getting so fed up with my body being stupid. I just hate that I have so many problems. Its discouraging to know Im going to have to live with this for the rest of my life. 

I just want to be done with practicum. Its so horrible. I hate it. I just keep getting sick and things keep happening so I am so freaking behind. Its May 26 and Ive only done 3.5 out of 10 shifts. Practicum is only supposed to take up May but its going to take me a while into June. Even worse, I have to leave for Ohio June 10 so that I can go on preplanned vacation with my family…so then I have to come back as soon as that is done so I can go right back to stupid practicum. I think I’ll still have four shifts left after that. Ugh…

There is just too much going on lately. Way too many situations and stressors and people problems. Im not even getting along with my mother and I dont like that. Im tired of being upset with people or pissed off with people. Why cant everyone at least try to be nice and agreeable and honest? I feel like jumping out my window. 

TOTAL THOUGHT DUMPAGE–WARNING 

I went to bed at a decent time last night. I set my alarm for 6am, as I had a nursing final today at 8 and wanted to study and get the best grade possible. I was awoken to a loud fire alarm at 3:45 am. I thought "what a terribly gay time for a practice drill!". I am not good at getting up so it took me a minute to get up and find clothes in my messy room. My room mate left before I did, so I made sure I picked up my room key incase we were still separated when we came back, and happened to pick up my cell phone which was sitting beside my key. As I was leaving my room, I realized I really had to pee. I nearly turned around to go real quick, since you always have all the time in the world with fire drills, but I smelled the faintest scent of smoke and decided to just wait. You see, sunday the alarm had gone off too, and somebody stupid had burned food in the kitchen in my hall and I was ticked off, so today I figured someone was up late studying for a final and burned their popcorn or something. So, angrily, I started walking down the hall, with a few other people because I had taken so long to get dressed.

As I got towards the lobby I heard shrill screaming. Horrible screaming, and pounding. I was like omg, why are people being so annoying this late at night? I continued walking out the double doors. When I got outside I approached a girl who was crying. I realized even thought it was 3:45 am and dark that her blonde hair and fair skinned face was black. Her teeth were black. Her lips were black, everything was black on her body and she was screaming "I cant find my room mate, she cant get out help help I cant find her" I then realized it was an actual fire. Smoke was billowing out of the top of the dorm. Within a few minutes there were massive red flames reaching terribly high. It was horrible. They took us all to the cafeteria. They did massive roll calls. They told us everyone was accounted for but several people were going to be taken to the hospital for smoke inhalation. I knew two of these people, but only knew that I knew one of them. I saw Jen…she was hyperventilating, and her blonde hair was also black and her face was totally smeared with black and there was ashes in her hair.

We sat around for a long time. Rumors were going around–someone had caught a couch on fire by accident on the 3rd floor in the west wing and people had been trapped. A couch was set on fire, but I dont know how, and people had been trapped inside. We were all shaken up and upset of course but sat around waiting to find out what was happening, how bad the fire was, etc. Then all of the sudden the president of our school , Dr. Bietz comes up front. Everyone is asked to be quiet, but there is still quiet chatter around the room. Dr. Bietz starts talking. "We have lost a life to smoke inhalation….."and he is crying. The room fell completely silent. Nobody spoke, moved, thought, nothing. Only Dr. Bietz. He was crying an crying as he explained how a girl had been trapped inside and they couldnt get to her and she had died. They didnt tell us her name. Her boyfriend was there though and so we all found out quickly who it was.

I thought everybody was ok. They did numerous role calls and said everyone was accounted for which we all took to mean basically ok. Then I found out who it was. Her name was Kelly Weimer.  She was THE sweetest, nicest girl ever. She was one of the only people who smiled and spoke to me each time we saw each other. My school set up a little forum to talk about her and this is what I posted:

"While I was not extremely close friends with Kelly, I will always remember the first time we met. I was sitting alone in health for life class my freshman year, since I did not know anybody or have any friends at southern yet. She approached me with a huge smile on her face and asked if I wanted a friend to sit with. From then on out we sat together and talked daily throughout the semester, and I enjoyed her friendship immensely.

Kelly was one of those people that you cant miss in a group of people; she was beautiful, bright, friendly and always had a smile for everyone.

May she always be remembered as the wonderful person who never had a frown on her face. "
 

It hasnt really hit me totally yet. I havent cried. I guess I am just in a state of shock still. Ive not really ever known someone my age who has died, except once. I had a friend my sophomore year of HS who killed himself. I’d known him since I was like 5, but I hadnt seen him in like 2 years. I saw Kelly every single day. Sometimes more than once a day. AND SHE ALWAYS WAS SO NICE.

Im just so traumatized….the screaming I heard and the pounding…that could have been her. She was stuck in her room. I got out and I heard her screaming. I got out and sat there and whined about it being cold while she died. The girls with the blackened faces and hair…I dont know. It was the same floor my sister was on, it could have been her. The girl who died’s room was 2 stories directly above my good friend Kristal’s room. The floors collapsed and stuff…I mean Krystal could have been killed even.

Im sitting here and I just keep hearing those screams over and over. They were so shrill and the pounding….I cant stop hearing them repeating in my head. I smell like smoke and I feel sick. 

Also, I took pictures of the damage so that you can see how awful it was. It was on national tv and stuff even…Here is a news article about the fire. Like, every news team has been here. They interviewed my sister. I didnt go outside, I didnt want to be asked to talk on tv and cry because I looked like crap seeing as to how I havent had any sleep. I suck. sort of.

Also many thanks to everyone who heard about it and has called me for support and to make sure I am ok, especially Jonah and Jamie and Lauren and especially Rickie. Rickie, if you are reading this, your call meant so much to me like you dont even know. It almost made me cry. The fact that you thought of me and called meant more to me than anything. It made my day/week/month/year. You are the greatest, I owe you big time. Seriously, I dont even know how to express my gratitude. Jonah too, I am so glad to have friends who care. Thank you guys so much.

I dont even know where I am going to stay tonight. They havent told us yet if we can stay in our rooms that werent damaged yet. They let us briefly go in and get some stuff and get out. I grabbed my computer and some books and some clothes and personal hygiene items and got out of there. I dont see how we could stay there anyways, the smell of toxic like fumes was too strong. Like when you burn plastic or foam or something…it was so strong me and kristal have a headache and my throat hurts. So yeah, I dont know where I am going to stay.

the mexicans have sign language. lol!

I went to vespers last night with Kristal and this girl I met that is her friend named Laurel. She was nice too. My sister was in the program cuz she is going to be a missionary this summer in thailand.  It wasnt too bad. Afterwards–you all should be proud of me– I socialized and went to a crepes party in southern village. Basically people goofed around and ate crepes that were being made, it was kind of a really creative idea for a get together. But yeah, I SOCIALIZED. Then I came home and that weird thing happened. I cant get over it. I seriously am like dying of weirded outness.

Hooray for categories! 

So I was super stressed out about my mental health test today since my last one was horrid. It was so bad, in fact, that I only got a 73%, and you all know I am not that stupid. Everbody else did really bad too and the questions were awfully worded. So I studied for this one and I totally got a 91%. That means if I do ok on the final I AM GOING TO PASS. You have to get a 78% in the test section to pass, btw. That is why I was so scared with that 73%. I think I am going to be ok now though.

Next item of greatness: I wasnt going to say anything but I am pretty sure my room mate doesnt know about my website so its ok. Evelyn, if you are reading this, I am sorry. Sort of. But not too much. It is just that I HAD to say something. Something of this magnitude cannot go without showing and telling the world. 

Ok–here it is–my room mate is going to class today in her Jedi costume. She is actually going in public, in front of her classmates, in a Star Wars costume. Her star wars fan club meetings and get togethers, I maybe understand. But not infront of college classmates. Apparently she is doing a speech today having something to do with sci-fi. She was sad she cant wear her daily baseball cap to cover her shaved head because Jedis dont wear baseball caps. And now, the best part….I actually secretly took pictures. Too bad they arent great since she kept moving, and its hard to secretly take pictures of someone when they are only 6 feet away from you, but they will do. AND NOW FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE…..my room mate evelyn in her home made Jedi costume!

also note the piles of trash lolololol

Man, this was the best morning evar. Cept that one morning where we were in England and we were checking into our hotel (that didnt have air conditioning but did have heated towel racks. apparently air conditioning isnt a standard thing there. fags) and my sister katie started watching tv and there were these pay per view channels at the end of the regular stations of programming and it said what it was and you had to put your room number it to buy it and she didnt know what that meant and so she thought to watch tv you just had to put room numbers in and put them in several times and then we had to go do something and when we came back later she was flipping through channels again and i was watching with her and all of the sudden it comes onto one of those last channels that she’s bought but we dont know that yet right and so like i had gotten distracted and was looking at something other than the tv while she was flipping through and i hear a funny noise but keep doing something else and then she says to me "hey emmy, what is this?" and I look over and its totally porn and not just regular porn, its two FAT black ladies completely nude bending over onto a hot tub and a normal sized white man smacking their butts with his erect penis.

i had an awfully busy day.

 i sure hope i get a good grade on my research paper.

 also my test tomorrow.

 i cant wait for the weekend so i can catch up on sleeps. also indian food with kristal. and possibly a hair cut. and maybe something with rickie and shellina. call me if you read this!

i have something really funny i could write here but i am too afraid the person will find out i wrote it and be mad at me so ask me sometime for it by IM or something.

oh and ive been assigned to an ob/gyn/new babies floor for practicum. how unbelievably ironic. and she’s all "youre soooooo lucky, youre going to have soo much fun with the new babies!" but secretly she doesnt know i am the only girl in my class most likely who hates kids. i’ll post more on this later, cuz i have to go to bed to get early to study for my test. bleh…..

Bad news:

One of the ducks at the pond thing infront of my school was laying dead on the road with tire marks on it today. It was so sad; ducks are nice, they dont deserve to die. I actually said "oh no" outloud. I hope you all are as teary eyed as me, especially steven, cuz we used to love to feed those things til they were fat.

Britney Spears is pregnant. Its official now. I saw it on a news article, and you can go to her website and see that she’s put a little thing saying so too. btw what the crap is up with her website?

I am not doing well in one of my classes and it isnt my fault. My teacher sucks. I have a test in it on Friday and its so much information, I’m pretty sure I am going to fail the class, which puts me graduating a semester later. Maybe I wont fail though, hopefully. I suppose I should think positively.

My research paper is due tomorrow. I so dont feel like finishing it up.

Good News:

I lost 8 pounds in 9 days.

I got this hot new athf shirt on Friday and I am wearing it today and I like it.

I only have two weeks of school left.

I dont have lab tommorrow.

My ears are looking sexay. They are great conversation starters. Even my physical therapist asked me about them today. Then she told me my problem with my shoudlers is that they are like double jointed or something. Im having trouble sleeping since they are sore and I cant sleep on my side and I usually do so I have been tired the last two days. bleh. wait that goes in the bad section nm

 
General Things/slight upsetments:

I had a doctors appointment today to follow up on my physical therapy and I had to wait a freaking hour and a half before I even saw him. It ticked me off. I read every single magazine that wasnt about golf in that stupid room and ran out before he even got there. The only magazines his office provides is some baby magazine, two dumb magazines filled with celebrities, and like 15 types of golf magazines. Anyways, so I read these two stupid celebrity magazines. It was like….People  and something else. I realized right there while I was waiting that those are the stupidest, biggest waste of money in the whole world. I mean, those things dont even have any articles about anything interesting. I know its called "People" for that reason but come on. Oh wait, if they did add articles worth reading they’d have to change the name of the magazine to "People and also boring articles which only shallow people/housewives/people waiting at the doctor read out of sheer boredom". People magazine is catchier. Its soooo lame though! Its like "ooooh look how [insert 5 famous retards] are wearing coral this season…its hot!" or "oooh look at how so and so famous person looks like a tramp on the red carpet". Who really cares??? Who really pays for those magazines?? NOBODY SHOULD WHAT BRAD PITT IS DOING TO HIS HAIR OR WHAT COURTNEY LOVE ISNT DOING TO HERS.  Anybody who pays for that crap should all be round up  and shot. Gosh! And Paris Hilton! There are like 50 thousand pictures of her in there. Can that woman even move her face? In every single picture it looks exactly the same. I hate celebrities and how everybody holds them as like gods and what not. Its ridiculous. And they like tell you what exactly it is that each celebrity is wearing and what designer made it, and often the cost too, as if people who read People are going to go purchase a $5000 Gucci gown for themselves on the way home from buying the magazine at walmart. Suddenly I feel like picking apart and making fun of every celebrity I dislike the most. Maybe I’ll try that one day. Its probably a good exercise to let my feelings out. Seriously though. If you read my blog and also pay for people magazine or like it, please stop. Do not encourage them.

Im legally changing my name. Im still coming up with final plans but was wondering about suggestions from any viewers.

Somebody asked me if I was an art student today. This is the 7th time somebody has.

Even worse, in the last month, Ive been told twice I look like Kelly Osborne. I used to get that alllll the time but havent in a while. I seriously dont look like her. I mean, we are both chubby, have black hair, and arent nice people but other than that we dont really look like each other or have anything in common.

I hate camouflage.

While nursing is a very serious and caring profession, its funny as all get out. For instance:

We watched a video yesterday, which was live tapings of reports from rape victims so that we could see various reactions, the types of various victims, how a medical type rape report is done, etc. The first lady was middle aged and white looked like she was totally on crack. Anyways so she is yelling about how two men raped her. The white cop immediately says "describe the two black men that raped you" to her. She gets this look on her face like "wtf???" because she never said anything about then being black and yells that they were white. Sooo funny.

Then also in the video there was a 72 year old black woman being assessed by the nurse and she’s old and traumatized cuz she was raped right outside her nursing home. Her middle aged son is with her, and encourages her to speak. She mumbles a bit about forcing her to the ground. The nurse tries to get her to explain further by saying "Can you describe to me what they did to you?" and she just kinda mumbles they forced her to the ground, etc, but doesnt say what they did. Then all of the sudden her son pipes up and says "Momma, tell em what they did to ya. Did they put it in ya booty?" and she said yes. I just about lost it when he said that though.

Today I went to CADAS which is a center for those with substance abuse problems can go and get help. During the first meeting of the day, the group leader was lecturing about this and that and it was alright. Then he tries to say a sentence but gets stuck in the middle– "You cant let anybody…." and cant think of the word he wants to say while talking about letting other people control your actions. All of the sudden the guy sitting behind me fills in the pause with "Piss in your cheerios" very loudly and I laughed my head off.

There was a "nice" fellow who was an addict there who showed me where the bathroom was. The conversation went as follows:

Me: Could you show me where the nearest restroom is please?
Addict: Sure. Nice to meet you, I am Don,  and I am a crack addict.
Me: Nice to meet you too Don, I am Emily and I am a…..a….nursing student.
Don the Crack Addict: Youre real pretty.
Me: Thanks. And thanks for showing me where the bathroom is.

I didnt throw up anymore. They sure did serve us those some freaking red skinned potatoes again for dinner today. Im getting so sick of them serving us the same crap over and over. Infact, they served us the exact same meal yesterday for lunch as they did on Saturday. Same disgusting vegan chicken nuggets, same disgusting creamy sauced dog meat patties, same disgusting frozen peas, same disgusting cooked carrots, same disgusting instant mashed potatoes, and same disgusting gravy that tastes like it was created by mixing urine, ground up dog fur, and turds. Also they must mix in some saliva cuz that is what the consistency is like. I cant believe my parents pay for that crap. I wouldnt even feed it to animals.

My sister and her room mate told me I look hot today. Steven must have made me ugly because now a days everybody thinks I am hot. Its amazing how people like give you compliments if you start paying attention to the way you dress and actually fix your hair in the morning. Im better looking than I remembered. Ive got hot, fat lips.

I am looking for a rich man to give me some dollars or take me to Africa please. I would like to go to those places with the animals and take pictures of them to post on the internet. I would like to see hippos; baboons with blue bottoms; them birds that stand about; elephants; water buffalos; leopards; cheetahs; bears; lions; giraffes; zebras; storks; big snakes; and monkeys. Oh wait, we already have monkeys walking all over the place here in the south lolololol jkjk i am not racist promise. I dunno I might be but Ellen G. White says its OK.

I dunno. I feel like taking a trip on an airplane to go somewhere and take pictures. The problem is that I dont have any money cuz I dont have a job or care to have one but I think I am going to get one soon cuz I want to live off campus next year even if I switch schools. I am tired of teh dorm life, and need some dollares to do this. I think I am going to see about working at Cumberland Hall with the mental children. Yeah, read that all you "haters" who keep sending me emails that only say that I am hitler and I am a bad person and I should go to hell and that I am a b-word. I work with mental patients. Im practically Mother Teresa, really. Anyways about this vacation stuff I want one so I need someone to donate to me some dollars like a couple thousand or a million will do. Sam can come too if he wants cuz he likes to take pictures. There has to be some lonely rich man out there who feels like going to Africa too and wants to take me along. If you know any please let me know. Especially if they are asian.

So I am thinking about writing a book or something. I am in the mood to write stories. I like writing stories especially if I get to illustrate them poorly as a please. I want to make a book completely illustrated with sad MS Paint pictures or sad photoshops I make.

I had to do this supergay thing for nursing today on a computer and its soooo funny cuz there was all these typos in the program and like alllllll the illustrations look like they were made with MS Paint. I took a screen shot to show all of you my friends: 

Also this is what i would look like if I were hitler:

Jacob made this. He is becoming the photoshop master. He also made me this: