lol
When I get bored, I often read medical personnel’s blogs. This entry from whitecoatrants.blogpress.com made me laugh:
A 20 year old came in at 11:30 PM for the following complaint: “There’s something crawling inside of me.”
“Where?”
“In my stomach.”
“OK, just out of curiosity, when was your last period?”
“About 6 months ago.”
“Hate to break it to you, but you’re probably pregnant.”
“How do you know?”
“I don’t. Let’s see. Hmmm. Your uterus is sticking up to the level of your belly button. That usually means you’re about 20 weeks pregnant.”
“There’s nothing else that it could be?”
“Well, I suppose you could be constipated. Hmmm. Hear that heartbeat of about 152 when I put the Doppler on that lump in your belly? That would be the baby’s heart beat.”
“Are you sure that isn’t my heart rate?”
“No, see that pulse oximeter reading on the monitor? Your heart rate is 88. This one is 152. Big difference.”
“Are you sure it couldn’t anything else?”
“Unless we’re on another planet and this is a scene from Alien, then yes, I’m sure.”
“Does that mean that you’re not going to do a pregnancy test on me?”
“Yes, it does.”
“You’re saying you know for sure I’m pregnant without even checking a pregnancy test?”
“Yes I do. You should read my blog some time.”
“I should what?”
“Nevermind. Have a nice day.”