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work

Me: [after viewing patient kicking his legs around violently]   Do you need something Mr. So and So?
Confused Patient: Yeah. [pause]

Me: What do you need?

Confused Patient: Somebody like you.

Confused Patient: I’ll make you a deal.

Me: Ok, what?

Confused Patient: If you take me out of these restraints, I’ll cook ye up some pork n beans, taters, and onions. I got a whole case-a-whiskey out back too. We’ll have a party and I’ll touch yer boobies [grabs my boob]. Wooo!
Coworker: Do you like Chinese and Japanese food both? I love them!
Me: Yeah, I love all Asian food in general.

Coworker: Oh really? Ive never tried Asian before.

Confused patient (not mine): [after falling on the floor] WHAT HAPPENED??

Nurse: You fell down onto the floor, sir.

Confused patient (not mine): Ohhhh. I thought I was in Ireland.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 30th, 2008 at 6:52 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

2 Responses to “work”

  1. rascaldom Says:
    June 2nd, 2008 at 1:13 am

    I’m imagining your patient as a real life Joker; mostly for the “I’ll make you a deal” part but it’s pretty fun overall!

  2. Emily Says:
    June 2nd, 2008 at 8:20 am

    Confused patients are both hilarious and extremely frustrating. Usually getting beat up is worth it. I literally have bruises right now. If getting punched/kicked in the stomach left bruises, I’d have those too.

    But, I’ll take it for the stories.

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