this and that

Me: [after viewing patient kicking his legs around violently]   Do you need something Mr. So and So?
Confused Patient: Yeah. [pause]

Me: What do you need?

Confused Patient: Somebody like you.

Confused Patient: I’ll make you a deal.

Me: Ok, what?

Confused Patient: If you take me out of these restraints, I’ll cook ye up some pork n beans, taters, and onions. I got a whole case-a-whiskey out back too. We’ll have a party and I’ll touch yer boobies [grabs my boob]. Wooo!
Coworker: Do you like Chinese and Japanese food both? I love them!
Me: Yeah, I love all Asian food in general.

Coworker: Oh really? Ive never tried Asian before.

Confused patient (not mine): [after falling on the floor] WHAT HAPPENED??

Nurse: You fell down onto the floor, sir.

Confused patient (not mine): Ohhhh. I thought I was in Ireland.

But yesterday Pepe got stung by a bee right by his eye.

It was red and swollen and watery and I was scared.

and his album comes out on my birthday

bret michaels is such a jerk

BRET MICHAELS NEW MUSIC VIDEO

SERIOUSLY

GETS AN F-

how cute! it looks like he is waving!

So like I said in my last post, I broke my computer.

FYI-this is like the fourth computer I broke.

Whatever.

Adam said if he couldnt fix it, I could buy a new one today. He couldnt fix it.

So I have a new computer.

It has one of them newfangled built in webcams.

That would have been helpful like, 8 years ago when I was in highschool, but I dont really use them now. I took a picture in this dimly lit room anyways to try it out.

It isnt very flattering but you can have it if you want.

my titties are everywhere

also it looks like my shoulders are really wide like a linebacker

lol i just realized another reason the picture is bad quality is because I left the protective plastic thing over the lens

lulz

So im not here for a bit.
It says a boot file is missing or something.

I will be able to check my email though with adam’s sidekick til its fixed (that is how I am posting this).

Ps
Toto is doing great. It took a few hours for him and pepe to get along, but now they are fine. Toto is like the sweetest dog ever, and very quiet. I got him and pepe matching polo shirts; toto has a red shirt, and pepe has a blue one. They have little american flags on the lapel. Toto also lets me put a bow in his hair. It is adorable.

I took them to the vet last friday for their yearly shots, heart worm and intestinal worm tests, and physical. They were both ok. Toto has a little hernia on his belly that I noticed the day I got him. The vet said it looked ok and that he didn’t need surgery.

I got them both microchipped while we were there. They hated it, but now if they get lost, I have a better chance of getting them back.

Toto lays around all day. He loves tummy rubrubs. He is so fluffy. I bathe him and pepe in coconut pineapple shampoo and conditioner and they wear matching body spray.

Last night one of my patients kicked me repeatedly and then punched me in the stomach.

Also, she threatened to kill me. She said she was going to come to my house and tie me to the bed and set my house on fire and roast me like a pig.

She said if she had a stick she’d beat me to a bloody pulp (minus a lot of curse words).

Also, she is going to call the police on me and get me put in jail and sue me and Im not going to forget putting her in restraints until the day I die or longer.

I am so scared of 96 pound 95 year old women burning my house down in the night, but I deserve it, because she said I am literally an evil shedevil and I keep my tail tucked down the leg of my pants.

PS:

This is a secret, but I really wanted to say to her “alright then, come and get me!”

lol I did say “you dont know where I live” when she said she was going to burn my house down. Also, I told her that I didnt care if she got me put in jail because I could use some sleep and they have those beds in there.

people with dementia are both frustrating AND funny.

You may or may not have noticed gaps in my posting recently.

I work three 12 hour shifts in a row now at the hospital.

When Im working, those days, I like, have no time to post or reply to comments or emails or facebook or myspace messages.

I work 7pm to 7am and when I get off at 7am then I pretty much have to immediately go home and go to bed to be at work again at 7pm.

u dig??

we pull out our hair nightly.

IMMA BEAT YEW

all of my family is crazy

Im pretty sure Degrassi is the best show ever.

y/y?

Ive had this problem with seeing spots since I was in highschool. I went to several doctors about it including eye doctors and they didnt know what I was talking about and didnt see anything wrong.

I just found out what it is called, after researching some migraine stuff (yah, I have those too, thanks mom).

It is called Persistent Visual Snow, or Persistent Migraine Aura.

A lot of people who get migraines will experience some sort of “aura” that lets them know they are getting a migraine. Some people will have enhanced senses, some people will see rings or halos around lights, and seeing spots. For most of them, when your migraine is gone, so are those aura symptoms. However, some people, like myself, have those things all the time. And its really annoying.

For me, I see purple dots. I found a gif on a site that kinda shows what people’s visual snow looks like:

Mine is most like the dots in the middle moving, but purple. they are usually moving in one direction (either in a tunnel away or towards me), but sometimes they are small and spread out like the “static” looking stuff in this picture.

It really only bothers me when I look at light colored surfaces, and mostly only when I am driving and its ALWAYS in front of me then. It pisses me off because I’ll think something is moving or something when there is nothing there.

My genetics suck. Anyways, I just thought I’d share with you my discovery, Im excited that I finally have a name for it.

My birthday is less than a month away, June 3.

What are you going to get me?

Here is my Amazon wishlist.

I’ll be 23 in one month

ps

what are you going to get me for my birthday?

Background: I have a problem with mixing my words up sometimes by accident. The way I do it is called a “Spoonerism” or very similar to one. It is when you switch the syllables on words like the most famous Spoonerism, by Dr. Spooner himself: “It is kisstomery to cuss the bride”.

At work at the end of your shift, you give a verbal report to the nurse(s) taking your patients for the next shift. I was giving report and was describing my patient’s lung sounds and meant to say “She has a lot of crackles and wheezes”. Except…I said “She has a lot of crackers and weasels”.

24WX 24XH 36X L

For Pepe today.

Off Craigslist.

Nearly new.

Cheap.

From some rednecks.

awesome.

Today I started my second IV evar!

(I actually started one in nursing school, and at memorial hospital where I worked before, I never learned to do it because they had an IV team that starts all of theirs)

Pepe thinks whatever is mine is his. Especially food. Pepe’s favorite pastime is eating people food.

Whenever Im eating, he tries to beg for a bite by looking at me with these big, sad, brown eyes, and licks his lips.

Today, he tried that on me while I was eating Wasabi Macadamia nuts. I let him just LICK one and now he’s rolling around on the ground, his nose is running, he cant stop licking things to get the taste off, and his eyes are watering, he’s pawing at his face, and has moved 10 feet away from me.

lol now he’s eating a napkin