this and that

Pepe is wearing this sweater

he’s so embarrassed he wont take apicture

That I was in a car accident Friday.

I was on my way to work and I stopped at a gas station to get some pop. When waiting to pull out of the gas station, someone hit me so hard from behind (no idea why they were going as fast as they were in a parking lot) that it pushed me out into traffic. I had to quickly swerve to the side of the road as not to be hit by oncoming cars. Because of this I did not see the other car.

I pulled back into the gas station and started asking around if anyone saw who hit me. Some construction workers had seen it while getting diesel for their truck. They said they thought it was a white Cadillac and that it had sped off to the right.

Luckily my car isnt too damaged. They left an imprint of the bolts from their license plate in the back of my car though. Anyways, of course there was nothing the police could do about it.

Hit and runs piss me off.

He’s like, 11 weeks old now. And yes, his right ear is still wonky. I asked the vet, and he said it should fix itself. Apparently puppy’s ears go nuts during teething. This teething stuff needs to end soon, btw. He’s tearing the place up.

I found the best website ever. I believe my friend Bryan is going to crap himself and die when he sees it. It is mostly NSFW…but I’ll show you some sfw previews of hotghettomess.com:

ok i cant find anything else sfw lol

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

Ok, so a little while back I made a blog post about everybody at work being pregnant. So far, everyone has had their kid except two people. Everyone at work was gathered around a computer last night taking a look at a picture of the newest baby, born saturday. I noticed that hospital had a whole listing of all the babies born, with their pictures.

Then I noticed their names are ATROCIOUS. Seriously…if I was the hospital, I’d be too embarrassed to post them.

Here is the list:

Herbin
Myrakul (Miracle…get it? ugh)
Jabariyae Shynise
Raekwal
Addyson Opal Grace
Ladarrell Dewayne
Xzavier
Ta’Zhaunah (WTF)
Tusi
Heaven
Kaleb Kevon
MyKeonna (mmmmmyyyyy Charona)
Coco
A’Marrah Le’Asha
Kyrynn
Liberty Ann
Jer’Maya Fre’Nique
Hermelinda
Cor’Dashia Corriyanaa
Akendris Tyreeq’
Pyper
Ranzy
KaDarius
Cherrish Nevaeh (the middle name is Heaven spelled backwards if you didnt know)
Jaheim
Briar
Anna Sad
Civic
Dayge
Ja’Colvionn
Zifeon
Elektra Winter Rae
Marquise Brytarrius
Jeronimo
Marchez
McKelvey
Tremayne
Ar’Kabie
Rumor
Gavin Vernon Tuff
Tinkerbell
Kanivah Angel La’Shoi
Steven Satchel
Zacauree’A
Ju’Elz Rae’Shun
Jaxon
Cash
Tauheedah Aseelah
Sincear
Gaas

Some of their parents names arent any better:

Quatangela
Arlandis
Shermonica
Terrad
Dedrick
Candaus
Candarryle
Shywone
Courrie
T-la
Dodie
Havis
Le’Shell

Potential Porn Star Names:

Brooklyn Rain
Skyler Lynn

ok im tired

Theodore is sick!!

I went to check on him and his little eyes were sealed shut. He also was acting very sluggish and disoriented. I helped him to his food and water but he barely ate any and then went back to his bed.

I have to call the vet in the AM.

Poor furbaby.

At the hospital, I see a large volume of names, as you can imagine.

My favorite recent one was the first name, which he was born with: Yogi Bear. He was an old guy too.

+

=

good times

give me a break i am bored and cant sleep

its 6 am

So Pepe went to the doctor yesterday for his 2nd set of shots. He did pretty well. He only wimpered a little. They weighed him and he is up to 3 pounds now. His ears certainly are pulling shenanigans though. In older pictures, you see that his ears were both down, and floppy. Now one of them is up, but its like, so up that its slightly turned backwards at the top. Oh, and the other one is down. He looks ridiculous. The vet said that because he just started teething, for some reason that happens. Apparently it can take up to 6 months for Chihuahuas’ ears to fully stand up to the classic “doe ears” shape. He’s got til June 5 to stop looking silly then. He better get working on it, cuz he looks like a dork.

I also went to the people doctor yesterday. She confirmed my diagnosis of Asthma. I now have to take a pill and use a maintenance inhaler every night and keep my rescue inhaler with me at all times. I also have to start using this thing called a “Peak Flow Meter” to keep track of how well my lungs are doing.

This lady loves hers so much she gives it oral.

Mine isnt phallic like hers is though. Anywho, you take a big breath and blow out into the machine as hard and fast as you can (this is sounding sexy). You do it three times a session three times a day and record it in this little log book with a graph. It shows what times a day you have the most problems and also you can use it when youre having an attack to see how bad it is.

I can do like 350-410 on it. Adam can blow it as far as the machine reads, which is like 800. I guess I lose.

Oh, I found it.

Mine looks like-a-this:

http://collegehumor.com/video:1737792

So Im at work last night and I had just gotten a new patient. I was in the middle of doing their medical history and I started getting this really bad pain in my chest and I felt like I couldnt breathe. I tried to ignore it and continue talking to the patient, but I could not breathe and was having trouble talking because of it. I immediately walked out of her room and to the nurses station to the charge nurse. By this point I was in tears I was in so much pain, and I dont usually cry in public.

The charge nurse took me to the ER, where I was from midnight last night til 11am today. I had to pee in a cup first and that test showed I was dehydrated. They had to stick me 3 times before getting an IV in properly. Then they put a whole liter of fluid in me in only one hour.

Then I went for a CT scan. The dye didnt work correctly so that test was no good. They thought maybe I had a pulmonary embolism because my lab work came back and a test for PE was “elevated”. They told me I needed a VQ scan next, which is a nuclear medicine thing that tests your ventilation and perfusion. Part of that test was weird; I had to breathe in this weird gas which I just looked up. It says the gas is “mixture of air, oxygen, and a slightly radioactive version of a gas called xenon”. That came back mostly negative. 

So then they were like wtf mates what is wrong with this lady

And they think I have asthma and that I just had a super severe bronchiospasm and now I am a dork and have to carry an inhaler.

I love Penn and Teller.