this and that

I have not updated or talked to anybody in a long time. I had to work three days in a row recently and although that doesnt sound that sucky, it is. Working 36/72 hours is exhausting, and most of the remainder of time you have when you get home you have to quickly eat and go to bed. Anywho, here is what is new:

1. Thanksgiving was ok. I didnt go to Ohio or nothin. I didnt feel like it. I know it sounds selfish, but I really dont know if I want to see my grandpa like he is right now. Plus, my dad was there. I dont want to see him at all.

2. I went to Adam’s parents for thanksgiving and had real turkey. I didnt like it. It was like, dry or something. I wasnt about to put that giblet gravy crap on there either after they told me what was in it. INNARDS.

3. On the 17th, Adam proposed to me. His mother is so sweet that she wanted me to wear HER grandmother’s engagement ring, so I had it resized this week cuz it was too small. I probably have big ol fat fingers. My ring size is pretty much my shoe size in some brands though like its supposed to be, so I dunno.

4. It is way too cold. The lawn is brown. I dont like either of these things.

5. Kitty has failed at becoming potty trained. She was doing great on the first step and jumping up on the toilet was no problem and she would go in the solid 1st stage pan. The second pan, however, had a small hole in the middle and she only used it once and then kept pooping on the floor. I got tired of that crap fast, literally. SO WE’RE BACK TO LITTERBOXES. ugh.

6.  All my mom’s family found out about my tattoos and are freaking out. Its pissing me off. Tattoos=not a big deal. They arent even religious in any way. I dont see why anybody cares. Fags.

7. Christmas is soon. I SO do not feel like going christmas shopping, I hate it. If you read this and youre one of the people I would give a gift to, Im sorry. Im thinking about canceling christmas. I dont like it today.

8. Im addicted to the game Heroes of Might and Magic 2. I even beat the thing. Adam’s never even beat it, and he’s been playing since like 8th grade.

9. I also really like the game Animal Crossing for DS.

10. If you guys havent seen the Wii played in person, its super neat. You can like bowl and play baseball and tennis and boxing on Wii Sports and you move the controller like you really would to play any of those sports. Its amazing.

I think that is it for right now.

my cat just ate a booger off my finger

lol

Here’s how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button.
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool.

End Credits: “Slow Hands” - Interpol

And I didnt cheat.

On my floor at work, there are a TON of people pregnant. Like, 11 I think the last count was. I constantly get stuck in the middle of baby name conversations. I cant stand it. Every mother wants her baby’s name to be “unique”, but they are all choosing the same names! Not only are they all choosing the same names, but the ones they are choosing are awful. They are also all fighting over their names. There is an actual list of who has dibs on what.

Names I dislike and I am tired of hearing:

Madison
Hunter
Tyler
Taylor
Jordan (or Jordyn or Jordynne or any other gay spelling)
Grace (Gracie)
Sydney
Hailey (Hayleigh, Haelie, etc barf)
Logan
Conner
McKenzie
Riley
Hayden
Landon
Dakota
Children named after any city (Brooklyn, London, Dallas, Kingston, etc)
Skylar
Addison
Carson
Tucker
Cameron
Katelyn (Kaitlin, Caitlyn, Kaitlynne, etc)
Emma
Kaylee/Kylie/Kayla/Mikayla with any spelling variations
Avery
Jaydn
Maddox
Hannah
any black people names

So my new sleeping problem for the last couple of weeks is that regardless of the time I go to bed, I wake up in four hours, give or take 30 or so minutes. Then I cant sleep again until I get tired, which is usually in the afternoon, and I try not to, but I get sooooo sleepy I have to.

Cooler than what?

lava?
Tom Selleck?
Your mom’s minivan?

So I totally forgot to tell you guys that I am toilet training my cat. Not litterbox toilet training– HUMAN toilet training. That is right. My cat is learning to use our toilet.

I bought a kit to teach her to use it. It was expensive, but if it works, it will so be worth the money.

If you have cats, you know how nasty and stinky and annoying to clean. If you dont have cats, go to someone’s house that has one and immediately when you go inside you’ll smell it.

Keykey is about to start the second stage! If you go to the site, you’ll see better how it works. It works with inserts for the toilet.

1. You sit the first red insert beside the toilet with littler in it to learn where the new place to poop is. It is solid, just so they get the hang of something new.
2. You put the insert with litter in it on top of the toilet. Then you wait for them to learn to jump up on the toilet and go.

3. Next is the amber colored toilet insert. It has a hole in the middle and you still put a small amount of litter around it and wait for the cat to learn how to balance with the hole there.

4. Then there is a thing green insert that mostly makes them learn to balance on only the toilet seat. You put a very small amount around the green ring just so they know its for pooping still.

5. Then you take the ring out and they go!

6. Profit!

penguin in little blue socks

Ok so Jay-Z has the biggest lips ever. Like, I swear I am probably not being racist. I know black people tend to have bigger lips, but his are like 1/3 the size of his face. I just saw him on tv and all I could see on his face was them lips. It looks ridiculous and he has enough lip for 4 people.

I didnt even recognize him.

Last night one of my patients called me a nigger.