this and that

plus i like the band “ok go”

for some reason though I’m terrified of treadmills though. like, everytime I get on one im like omg im going to kill myself like those people on the internet!

wtf

he still creeps me the eff out.

btw, this is my current desktop background. nsfw if hitler isnt safe for work. its super cute though.

this

I hope you enjoyed the last post with the google trends thing. Its been sitting around here as a draft and today I figured I had enough stuff on it to post. I had fun with it.

Again, ignore the rambling. Its pretty much like Im high/drunk on vicoden.

About me:

Work is going better. I dont even know if I mentioned that I wasnt having much fun with it or not. Not that work is supposed to be fun, but I was hating it there for a little bit. I couldnt stand it. I seriously thought about quitting a few weeks ago. Im trying to get in a better frame of mind I guess. Half of the problem was the way patients and their families were treating me. While I TOTALLY understand that they are sick and stressed out, you dont have to treat your nurses (the ones that wait on you hand and foot and make sure you dont effing die) like crap. Its one thing to be short with me, its another thing to insult me just because you arent happy. I have patients and families who are downright mean. MEAN. It just isnt necessary.

Same thing with one of my bosses. No matter what she is talking to me about, she sounds really mean and rude. Even if she was telling me I won a million dollars I’d probably still be scared of her. I talked to another nurse about it and she said thats just the way that that supervisor is. She isnt actually being mean, but she seriously sounds like it no matter what. Come on though, she has to know what she sounds like and what she is saying. You cannot tell me she isnt semi-aware of her mannerisms or that someone else hasnt mentioned it to her. Knowing that, why on earth would you make people’s lives harder than you have to if you dont? Why scare the new people?

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE BE NICE UNLESS IM NOT NICE TO YOU

The pets are doing well. Cuppy and the cat still dont get along, Muffin is still as grouchy as ever, Keykey and Cuppy turn a year old next month, and Theodore is shy and fat and fluffy and soft. Adam is good too.

We are still doing well. Last weekend his parents helped us completely move him in. Prior to that, he pretty much had all his stuff over here and had been living here for 3 months, but still was paying for his apartment and storing large things/things he didnt use much there cuz his lease just expired last month. We didnt see any point in paying all sorts of extra money to break the lease. Anywho, now we have a house full of stuff. We have double of everything. I guess I know how married couples feel. We are giving part of it away to a friend and some to a friend of Adam’s mother, and some to the thrift store. I’ll post a list of stuff that any of my poor friends reading this might want and you can have it for free probably.

We have two TVs now, so we get to have one in the bedroom. Now we can watch dvds in bed, woohoo. He also has a dresser, which I didnt have. I’d been hanging my clothes up/leaving them in piles/leaving them wrinkled in laundry baskets. I couldnt find any that I liked when I moved in and gave up cuz its less work to leave your clothes laying around than put them in drawers anyways.

He also has video game consoles, which is awesome because I dont. Since I havent lived at home since I was 17 and the academy I went to/college I went to wouldnt let us have them or a TV, I have no video games:(. Now I do! Hoorah! I do have a Nintendo DS. And some gameboys. But thats it. Im totally addicted to Animal Crossing and brain age (mostly the sudoku on brain age!!!). Adam beats me at brainage, but its ok. Im not that good at math. I do have the highest score in some of the sections though. I guess we are about even except on our “brain age”. He keeps his at 20, which is the lowest and best score, and my lowest has been 21, but usually stays around 23-25-28. I suck.

We are great though. Perfect. We have little systems and routines and its just sickeningly cute. He does the dishes because I hate it. I do all the laundry because he hates doing laundry. We share the garbage duty. He usually takes it out though cuz its heavy and I also dont think about it and let it build up. I pay the bills (I mean, he helps me with money but I do the actual act of paying them). He does the driving. We share the cooking. He is actually a really good cook and makes me dinner all the time. I make him dinner too, though. The other night I even made a delicious Polish meal of fantastic cooked cabbage and pierogies! We ate it all. I also made completely homemade apple crisp. It was delicious. I am learning lots of recipes. Oh, and I take care of the pets. He says he doesnt like animals at all, but I think they are growing on him. The cat is always ALWAYS sitting with him and he pets her, he pets Cuppy and holds him when I have him out, and Ive seen him go get Theodore out of his cage and hold him on more than one occasion. He says I cant have any more pets though for a while because our house is too small. I’d really like a dog, I think, eventually. I dont know how Key would like that though. I like dogs and walking it would be good exercise as well, since everbody knows I dont do anything. I probably wont though. I suppose I have enough pets. Plus the dog would also eat the cat and hedgies and theodorable the fluffy hamsterbaby. I cant let that happen, the cat already tries hard enough to eat my baby childerns. Adam always takes care of me when I need it. He’s so amazingly good to me. I dont know what I’d do without him. He’s so wonderful wonderful wonderful! Jesus sent him to me for a present, I know it. He is the only one for me.

I watched Clerks the other day for the first time because Clerks 2 came out but I couldnt watch it without watching Clerks first. I had never watched that Kevin Smith movie before cuz Steven said I wouldnt like it, so I just never did. I watched it anyways and it was amazing. I loved it. I cant wait to see Clerks 2. And Beerfest. BTW…nacho libre was moderately disappointing. I actually saw it forever ago and just thought about it. I saw it on opening night. It was cute and slightly funny, but man, it was so hyped up that I thought it would be totally amazing. Dont get me wrong, I LOVE Jack Black, and he did a good job, but it was just so…clean, I guess. It didnt seem like an adult movie, but one geared towards younger teens or something. Im not saying a movie has to be dirty or have foul language for me to enjoy it, but it just seemed like a kid movie. While we are talking about movies, V for Vendetta is pretty good if you havent seen it, and so is Lucky Number Slevin. I thought they would suck cuz I dont like action-y type movies, but I loved both. I actually just watched Cabin Fever as well. I liked it. It was gross and awesome.

My grandpa isnt doing very well. I did make it home to see him in July, and he just looked so skinny and tired and in pain. He looked like he had lost at least 40 pounds. He told me the pants he was wearing were the only ones he could find to stay on his hips since he had lost so much weight. My mom tells me he is just like a little stick now. I cant decide what to do about it. Part of me wants to see if I can take some kind of leave off work and go be with him for a few days, and the other part of me doesnt want to see him like this. I dont know if I want to remember him like this. For those of you who dont know, he became sick very quickly with fast growing pancreatic cancer, completely all of the sudden. It wasnt gradual at all! It pretty much just hit him in one week. At first, we couldnt figure out what was wrong. He had a really bad stomach ache and was in so much pain he couldnt eat. We thought it was his gall bladder, so we had it removed in December. Since I was on christmas break from college, I got to be with him then at the hospital and stayed with him in the ICU after surgery. He still didnt get better though. The incision healed up just fine and everything but the pain was the same. He still couldnt eat, even. Thats when he started losing weight. Then we took him to the big fancy hospitals in Columbus, Ohio. They did a bunch of tests and determined it was his pancreas, and that he had cancer. They thought maybe they could remove the whole thing, including the cancer. After further testing, they discovered it was wrapped around his mesenteric artery (a major artery system branching off the aorta, large and supplies blood to your whole lower body) and therefore it was inoperable. He told him he has less than a year to live and that with the way pancreatic cancer works, he wont die like most cancer patients, which is good and bad I guess. As you probably know, most people who die of cancer slowly get really sick and then you know, for maybe a few days they are on their “death bed” and everyone is called in to say their goodbyes and their death soon follows. Apparently, it is extremely common for pancreatic cancer patients to just spontaneously die. They dont go downhill and whatnot. They usually just randomly pass away. Partly because of this, his age, etc, he has decided not to do any treatments. Even with radiation, chemotherapy, etc, because of his age he probably wouldnt tolerate them well and it would just cost a whole lot and he’d still just pass away soon. Anyways, before his diagnosis of cancer, although he is 86, he went square dancing 3 days a week, chopped all his own wood, did gardening (I mean hardcore gardening…not like flowerbeds. Plowing, planting, etc), lifting, stuff 86 year old dudes dont do. He was like a 60 year old and so much fun. It kills me to see him so frail and unable to care for himself. He hates it too. He is used to being so active. He is very depressed as well, which isnt helping. I think its because he is lonely. I mean, there is always a family member of mine with him at his house, but he was used to getting out several times a week and dancing with friends and whatnot. Im sure some of them visit him, but I know it isnt the same. I really dont want him to die. He means a lot to me, and I love him too much. He is the coolest and cutest grandpa ever. I wanted him to walk me down the aisle when I got married, even. Im not sure what will happen when he dies. It is obviously unavoidable, but I just didnt think it would happen so soon. They have him on a new medication now. I dont know the name of it or too much about it since I dont work with cancer drugs much on my unit, but its a pain medication with a marijuana derivitive in it or something. Apparently the pot helps with nausea and also pain, and like stoners after an evening of smoking, it gives you the munchies which helps you put on weight. Im hoping it will at least help him to be a little more comfortable for the time being. I call him sometimes to see how he’s doing. I have to try not to cry because he sounds so feeble. Usually he can only talk for a few minutes because he’s so tired and in so much pain. Sorry for the sad stuff. I just had to vent and let it out. I dont talk about this stuff much and I guess it helps to just say things you are thinking sometimes. I wish I could think of something nice to do for him or something before he goes.

I love adam.

So I was bored this evening, and went to google.com/trends. You can put a search string in and it will tell you which city/state has searched for this search string the most, usually in a top ten list. I selected to show results for the US only, and then I started putting crude things into it just to see who searched for the naughtiest things.

St. Louis, by far, is the dirtiest. See the results below.

Search strings St. Louis was #1 for:

sex
homosexual
dick
fucking
fucking animals
fucking butt
tits
rimming
poop
man boobs
fart
nipples
fat
enema
toilet paper
pubes
pubic hair
balls
nigger
painful sex

Search strings St. Louis was in the top 10 for:

ass (#8)
anal (#4)
testicles (#2)
pooping (#3)
fat sex (#10)
butt crack (#2)
dirty sanchez (#6)
douchebag (#6)
urethra (#7)
poontang (#3)
fucking dogs (#2)
anal sex (#3)
butt (#2)
butts(#2)
butt sex (#2)
bukkake (#8)
cock (#2)
taint (#6)
dildo (#2)
ding dong (#6)
fuck (#2)
boobies (#2)
diarrhea (#2)
cleveland steamer (#5)
blumpkin (#8)
dutch oven (#6)
glory hole (#2) [lost to atlanta]
rusty trombone (#3)

I love my cat. When I passed a kidney stone last night, and I was peeing blood all night, she sat in there with me the whole time. I love her.

ps
my kidneys and my peehole hurt like the dickens.

Ive now gone completely crazy.