this and that

It ain’t no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It don’t matter, anyhow
An’ it ain’t no use to sit and wonder why, babe
If you don’t know by now
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window and I’ll be gone
You’re the reason I’m trav’lin’ on
Don’t think twice, it’s all right

It ain’t no use in turnin’ on your light, babe
That light I never knowed
An’ it ain’t no use in turnin’ on your light, babe
I’m on the dark side of the road
Still I wish there was somethin’ you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talkin’ anyway
So don’t think twice, it’s all right

It ain’t no use in callin’ out my name, gal
Like you never did before
It ain’t no use in callin’ out my name, gal
I can’t hear you any more
I’m a-thinkin’ and a-wond’rin walkin’ down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I’m told
I give her my heart, but she wanted my soul
But don’t think twice, it’s all right

So long, honey babe,
Where I’m bound, I can’t tell
But goodbye’s too good a word, babe
So I’ll just say fare thee well
I ain’t sayin’ you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don’t mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don’t think twice, it’s all right

Don’t Think Twice, Its all right by Bob Dylan
(one of the best songs ever written)

excuse the blog messiness while we are figuring out my new theme…

it sucks. we dont have to write this stuff out in real life. looks cool though, you guys have no idea what im talking about.

Assessment:

Patient lying in bed in Reverse Trendelenberg’s position. NKA. Full Code Status. Call light within reach. Side rails up x2. Restraints in place per hospital protocol.

Skin: Pale, warm, and dry, turgor elastic. Mucous membranes pink and moist. Severe bruising to right LE/buttocks. Intrapleural catheter/suprapubic catheter/CT dressings CDI.

Neuro: Pt. alert and can follow commands and is cooperative. Cannot speak due to vent, communicates with gestures and writing notes. Pupils equal, round, and reactive to light. MAE w/o difficulty. Weak cough when suctioned. Bloodshot sclera.

CV: Monitor reflects SR @ 108/min. No JVD. Pulses strong in all extremities bilaterally. Capillary refill <3 sec. SCDs in use. No redness, tenderness, or swelling to LEs. PMI 5th intercostals midclavicular. Left radial A-Line with adequate wave form, 160s/80s, correlates with NIBP and manual.

Respiratory: Hemothorax and contusion. OETT to vent, Psupp 16, PEEP 10, Slope .20, O2 40%, Trigger 20. Right CT to atrium drain, 20cm suction with moderate amount of sanguineous drainage. No air leak or crepitus evident. Suctioned of small amount of white secretions. Faint rales and rhonchi in upper lobes, diminished/slight crackles bibasilar. Oxygen Saturation 100%.

GI: Abdomen soft and round, hypoactive bowel sounds x4 quadrants. Grade 4 liver and spleen contusions NPO, NGT w/o suction. Placement confirmed with air bolus, audible in left upper quadrant. Irrigated with 20cc water. BM x0 since admission.

GU: Suprapubic catheter (d/t urethral transection) in place patent to bedside bag, producing clear amber urine. Renal hematoma.

Musculoskeletal: 12 fx Right side ribs, L3-L5 fx, C6 fx, Pelvic Rami fx, Scapular fx. Complete bed rest with cervical collar.

One time when you ran from me
I remember it clearly
A year ago and I’m here today
Just like you said that day
So simple in your own way
No doubt that both of us are insane

Do you remember the day we met
Said words I can’t forget
So much I think of what you do
Just like you said that day
So simple in your own way
No doubt that both of us are insane

Sometimes it gets instilled
Sometimes it feels too real
and I can say this is the deal
I’d like forever and ever

I’ll never love again
Can’t you see that I’m in
I’ll never know another you
What you do

Ode to Manheim Steamroller by Reggie and the Full Effect

I just talked on the phone with Steve, who comments on my blog here. He is from Newfoundland and his accent is AMAZING. I want to talk to more newfoundlanders…so if any of you read my blog or anyone else with cool accents does, tell me. I want to call you.

lol i couldnt understand 1/4 of what he said and it was awesome

Ok so Im walking down the stairs as I have a million times from the cafeteria, when all of the sudden I hear like an “ahhh” sound. Then, from behind, I am hit and knocked on top of a black guy who is falling down the stairs. I totally ended up in his lap somehow.

He helps me up and asks me my name. I told him, and he, much to my surprise, proceeds to tell me how he’d been watching me in the cafeteria and the reason he fell down the stairs was because of me. He said, and I quote “Dayummmm Emily…youz lookin’ so fine walkin’ down them steps, it was mesmerizing. Girrrl yo ass is hypnotic when you was shakin’ it down them stairs. Thems some fine white girl hips you got there. Too bad I dun go to school hurr or I’d be tappin’ that”.

I was mortified, as there was people standing around obviously since he fell down to make sure we were ok. I blushed and said a quick “thank you” just to be polite, and quickly walked away.

In brighter news, today when taking a nap I had a dream I was at an amusement park in Europe and on the ride I was on, Chuck Norris was too. I said to him “Hi Chuck Norris” and he shook my hand and gave me a Chuck Norris action figure. I pulled out a sharpie and asked him if he’d sign it. He did.

Welcome to the bizarre life of teh Emily.

While looking for pictures to make my myspace profile annoying, I found this picture of Jack White and I am soooooo aroused. I either want to do him or steal his hairstyle. Or both. I seriously want it….now. And him. GAH THIS PICTURE IS SOOOOOOO HOT. i am about to die

turn your sound on.

thanks to steven.

i stole this from some kid from my school’s blog. they sell this crap in our cafeteria.

I guess I should mention his name is Ben Mitzelfelt just in case he ever views my blog, not that he would,  so he doesnt sue me for stealing. Also I guess I should mention that Im totally in love with him.

Strange infatuation seems to grace the evening tide.
I’ll take it by your side.
Such imagination seems to help the feeling slide.
I’ll take it by your side.
Instant correlation sucks and breeds a pack of lies.
I’ll take it by your side.
Oversaturation curls the skin and tans the hide.
I’ll take it by your side.

tick - tock x3
tick - tick - tick - tick - tick - tock

I’m unclean, a libertine
And every time you vent your spleen,
I seem to lose the power of speech,
Yourw slipping slowly from my reach.
You grow me like an evergreen,
You never seen the lonely me at all

I…
Take the plan, spin it sideways.
I…
Fall.
Without you, I’m nothing.
Without you, I’m nothing.
Without you, I’m nothing.
Take the plan, spin it sideways.
Without you, I’m nothing at all.

Without You I’m Nothing by Placebo featuring David Bowie

tonight someone was like omg you changed your hair color! and i was like yes. and they are like hmmm…you still look intimidating though.

WTF. I WAS WEARING HELLO KITTY SLEEP PANTS AND FLUFFY SLIPPERS AND I AM 5′3″. eff that hippies

With my new countdown widget on my dashboard, I see that I have 75 more days until I am done with this horrible school. Congratulate me, encourage me, etc.

Argh.

indian food+friend=good

also i live here

You know how much I love to mess with translators.

Elvis, Heartbreak Hotel= “Hotel of central being broken eye”

Eminem, Without Me = “There Is No I”

Pink, Don’t Let Me Get Me = “Me The Fact That I Am Obtained Does Not Have To Be Permitted”

Ludacris, Move Bitch = “Portable Female Dog”

The Hives, Hate To Say I Told You So = “I So Called To Hatred You Who Are Said”

Aha, Take On Me= “My acquisition”

Backstreet Boys, Quit Playing Games (With My Heart)= “The game which was stopped and plays (my center)”

The Beatles, I Want To Hold Your Hand= “I would like to grasp your hand”

Ben Folds Five, For Those Of Y’all Who Wear Fanny Packs= “Because of those of the all to attach the pack of fanny to the body”

Brak, Magic Toenail= “Nail of toe of magic”

The Dan Band (i dunno who originally sang it), Total Eclipse of the Heart= “Central entire food”

I have a FOUR day weekend this weekend. I dont have class tomorrow or monday! hoorah! This means today is my last day of classes. For some reason I have a compulsion to say “thats so rad” but I dont say the word rad so I am not sure what exactly is going on there.

Worst name for a cereal evar- “Crispy Hexagons”. Its like generic Crispix I think. I saw it in our cafeteria. Its soooo funny to me.

The topic of the day: Anal winking. I got bored and put it into google image search. The image I found is so awesome I cant even believe it.

NSFW image!!!!!!

btw, that isnt how they told us to do it. wikipedia doesnt say to pull on someone’s dingdong either. I mean seriously, how do you test it on women then?

Ok so I talked about my huge test but I dont think I posted the result. I got an 80% initially (we take our tests on computers so it tells us the score immediately), but that score always changes because 1-2 questions always get dropped and also we had two math questions on paper that would change the score some too. So anyways, she sent us an email with a scanned grade chart for the whole class (we have 4 number codes identifying us of course so nobody knows who we are) and my grade did end up going up to an 84%. I was a little bit sad still because I studied SOOOOO hard, but I was like oh well I passed so whatever….until I saw the rest of the grade chart.

Out of 44 people in my class, 14 people failed. And then I was told that before she dropped some questions or whatever, 22 freaking people had failed. She was all “Im very disappointed in the scores. Do NOT miss class Thursday because we must discuss this matter further”. I think she’s pissed at us, but come on. It isnt like those people didnt study! We study soooo much for seriously…you’d think looking at those scores she’d realize there was something wrong with her testing or teaching or something. I think her teaching is ok but the test was brutal. I guess now I am pretty happy with my score seeing as to how 10 people got Ds and D-s (a 78% or lower is failing though…so most of the Cs failed too). I just feel bad though for those people.

Somebody asked me why I feel bad and I was thinking about it. Ive been with my classmates now every day for 2 years. Not only have I been around them tons for a long period of time, but we also all start to trust each other because we have to practice giving each other injections, starting IVs, doing blood draws, etc. It really actually kind of builds bonds, you know. It’d have to.

In class today we learned how to test for different reflexes to determine if someone is brain dead and also for spine injuries. One thing you have to look for is an “anal wink”. When my teacher said this, I seriously burst out laughing. Everybody looked at me like I was insane. Seriously, if I ever have to stimulate someone’s anus in the hospital and it winks at me, I will fall on the floor and I will pee my pants. The worst part was that she was like “their anus will wink just like this” and then she winked with her eye. I seriously am sitting here with the biggest grin on my face. Just thinking about an anus winking or just simply the phrase “anal wink” amuses me so much that I can barely stand it. Its so amazing.

Also this is so funny because its cute and it looks like the kitty is smiling:

Tonight with 3 other people I am helping teach a Pathfinder group (It is pretty much like Boy Scouts but with boys AND girls and some religious stuff put into it) first aid.

For child health class, we have to like get two “teaching project points”. The choices were like a list of gay projects that would take forever, or you could help teach the first aid patch to a group of kids from 6:30-8:30 on two Wednesdays in a row. Im like psssshhaw Im going to do that because the projects would take lots of time and effort and creativity and supplies and more than four hours to complete. With this teaching a class thing, I dont have to turn anything in.

All Emily has to do is teach kids basic first aid on what to do if someone is in shock, gets poisoned, gets burned, and how to escape from a fire. All four of us are working together on the section of how to help drag/carry people with broken limbs and stuff. So this week we just all explain our little sections, and then next week we kind of go over all of it and we give them a paper test over it. We arent mean, so we are using the time that week since we have the test already to go over all the questions secretly so they’ll get a good grade. We are so nice.

So yeah, thats what I get to do tonight. At least I am not sitting around, I guess. It wont be the most fun thing in the world, but at least Im helping people while getting an assignment done the easy way. I just hope the kids arent buttholes and will at least semi-partcipate and listen. I know when I was in 8th grade, I surely did not listen and liked to wreak havok whenever possible.

You see, my dear friends, I was once in Pathfinders. I hated it with all my heart. My parents made me be in it. Therefore, I know all sorts of skills that are mostly totally useless, but that I could use to kick nature’s fanny. I know how to build like 10 different types of fires and which are best for what activity. I know how to start a fire in the rain. I know how to tie like 50 different knots and what each is used for. I can identify many different frog and toad sounds. I can identify many cactuses. I know how to bake a cake without an oven and only a fire, a box, and some tin foil and bake bread on a stick (im freaking Macgyver). At one point I knew a substantial amount about how to do small engine repair. I know how to build a latrine out of logs and such lolol. I got like 5 different camping skills honors. I also had to do winter camping where I had to stay in tents 5 nights in weather that is at least below freezing on 3 nights and 2 nights, below 10 degrees. Do you know how bad that sucks? No, you dont, because your parents arent crazy enough to force you do be in a group that does that crap. Me and my sister eventually got ourselves kicked out on purpose since we couldnt quit. I forget how she did it. I just started being really annoying and not participating. Then one day my sister and I just kept talking and making jokes throughout the whole meeting, and so the leader got really mad at us and said that if we made another peep, we were out. I proceeded to say “peep peep”, and I was indeed out. I consider it one of my greatest triumphs. I guess now that I think about it, Pathfinders has made me a “more well rounded individual”. I know something about a lot of things. Weird. Maybe I should have been a better behaved preteen.

I love you all. I hope you guys have a terrific day. I love you today and every day with all my heart.
                                                               

Tell me which words associate with me plz

my mother sent me flowers for valentines day. she’s the only person that loves me.

I guess Richie, my brother, might also.

I got bored so i added pictures to a flickr account so I’d have a place to deposit random pictures I take with my new camera. Some are of me, some are of things, some are boring, some are dumb, etc. You guys can see them! The address is http://www.flickr.com/photos/porkdisco/. There are before/messed up/and after shots of my new haircolor also. Long story.

S.A.S. dont click here

First with your hands and then with your mouth
A downpour of sweat, damp cotton clouds
I was a fool, you were my friend
We made it happen.
You took off your clothes, left on the light
You stood there so brave
You used to be shy
Each feature improved, each movement refined and eyes like a showroom
Now they are spreading out the blankets on the beach
Well that weatherman is a liar
He said it would be raining
But it is clear and blue as far as I can see

Now I do as I please and lie through my teeth
Someone might get hurt, but it won’t be me
I should probably feel cheap but I just feel free…
And a little bit empty
No, it isn’t so hard to get close to me
There will be no arguments
We will always agree
And I’ll try and be kind when I ask you to leave
We’ll both take it easy
But if you stay too long inside my memory,
I will trap you in a song tied to a melody
And I will keep you there so you can’t bother me

Take it Easy (Love Nothing) by Bright Eyes

blah blah blah they screwed it up the first time and i got so pissed that they completly re-did it for free.

blah blah blah professional blah blah blah this and that blah blah blah dont call me goth anymore

I passed my test. I got a 43/50. 86%.

My crazy asian teacher was teaching us how to assess pain reflex on a comatose patient (causing a patient in a coma mild pain to see if they react). She told us it was not appropriate to give the patient a titty twister or twist their testicles. Yes…she actually said titty twister and it was amazing.

Nike shoxx are horribly expensive and horribly comfortable.

Im super stressing about my first nursing test of the semester tomorrow. The material is retarded. Its for Child Health class and its all pointless. I feel like my time is being wasted. The material isnt hard, its just useless and there is tons of memorization. I literally have to know the “milestones” in three different areas for each month and then year of a child’s life. As in…at 5 months the gross motor milestone for a baby is rolling from their abdomen to back, their fine motor milestone is obtaining a two handed voluntary grasp, and their sensory milestone is that they start developing taste preferences and such. I also have to know appropriate toys for each month and then years, as well as safety issues for each age group and how each age group deals with being in the hospital and how you accommodate them. Its so dumb. Then I have my HUGE adult health III test on tuesday. It is over sooooo much material, including renal (huge area by itself), hepatic (huge area by itself), and burn patients. Also, it has some math questions on drug calculations. BLARGH.

My teacher told us we dont have to go to lab til 2pm on sunday instead of 1pm. That is so awesome.

Apparently my brother got into a car accident yesterday evening. His truck is totaled. He got like smashed from the side by someone who ran a redlight. He and my sister Katie are okay but they both have minor injuries. Richie has some sort of huge knot on the back of head but it is okay Dr. Roddy says. Katie, since she is smaller got cut by the seatbelt and has some sort of laceration on her stomach and somehow got cut on the leg as well, but Dr. Roddy also says she is okay. Im glad they didnt die. I’d cry a lot. They are the closest two siblings to me.

This member of the opposite sex has 5 days to reveal himself to me or I’m going to be pissed with ZOLTAR.

I cant stop drinking code red mountain dew or peeing.

Tomorrow is the big day.

lol

send your fishes here to waste money!

is this seriously?

i think it can also be called a fart.

I want to know what kind of event this came from. I dont get it, but I love it.

this kid is such a dork

I want to live on this street. It must be hard for a church to have an address on it, though.

uh…worst motto ever?

thanks for specifying

I learned today that 1 out of 3 women will be raped. That is scary. I didnt realize the rate was that high.