this and that

http://porkdisco.com/g2/v/events/holidays2005

Testing la la la

(more…)

I let this woman

design my pillowcase.

I think Im in trouble.

My grandpa is on the way to our hospital here where I live (Im in ohio, btw). I guess he is very sick and has been pretty sick since last Wednesday. Dr. Roddy (my stepfather) is going to look at him, and if he is too sick, he will have to stay in the hospital. I am really worried. He’s 85, which is pretty old, and thats bad for getting sick. I am really really worried. I really dont know what I’d do if something happened to him.

If anybody who reads this prays, please keep my grandpa in your prayers please.

http://www.nbc4i.com/news/5579379/detail.html

im about to leave for ohio, so call me people

funny idea

lol dork

oops

jihad that!

no arguments here.

penissssss

lol obviously

she’s kinda cute…i guess…

stupid ohioans

identity crisis?

timmay!

morons!

most ohioan chicks are

is this allowed?

i’d rather be dead.

im surprised they allowed this one also

and this…

the dmv should not allow bad grammar.

ironic

lol at least they are honest

lol cocky

i want this

lol ew

wow…soooo old.

haha you’d think this wouldnt be allowed

this must be his first vehicle.

we know.

lost

I dont believe it.

ANA Limos prolly need to rethink their license plates.

I hope this has some sort of special NORMAL meaning for these parents.

lol this shouldnt be allowed

uhhh is it just me or is this a bit dirty and sick?

i SO want this

i dunno how they got away with this one

this one either! (also what is with all the ohio tags?)

i dunno if i’d brag…

big gimpin?

nsfw- is this real? really disgusting har har har

i want this.

this is horrifying. I guess its nsfw.

i dont get it

how did somebody get this wrong?

since when is he black?

crazy retouched photos

you dont know how long i laughed at this

im pretty sure ive seen everything, now.

this is my fat swollen bruised toes (gross)

This is my wrist/arm.

christopher broke my toe

it is turning colors and is stiff and swollen and i cant move it

today at the store, a jewish couple were using one of them kodak picture making things, while their child was running about like a hooligan about the store. As I walked past the little girl, she ran over to me and smacked me in the thigh. She yelled “Snow White?” and I just kinda smiled and kept walking. Then she asked her parents if I was Snow White.

That is the second person to say I look like Snow White. My friend Emily told me that when I saw her while getting my heart tattoo, since she used to work at the tattoo shop I go to.

I dont really understand it…

also i tried sushi today and it wasnt half bad!

Think of me
Anyway you want
I can be
The problem if that’s easier
In your head
Move the pieces around
Things I’ve said
Turn the memory upside down

And it makes it better I know
But sometimes it’s hard to swallow

In time I will fade away
In time I won’t hear what you say
In time, but time takes time you know

Tell your friends
The things they wanna hear and see
Start the drums
Band against the enemy

And in time I will fade away
In time I won’t care what you say
In time, but time takes time you know

In your head
Move the pieces round
Things I’ve said
Turn the memory upside down

It might make it better, I know
But sometimes it’s hard to swallow

In time I will fade away
In time I won’t care what you say
In time, but time takes time you know
Time takes time you know

Time by Ben Folds

[not all of them may be completely sfw, depending on where you live and if a man with only something covering his groin is offensive to your employers]

John Deere

This picture is bananas lololol

i dont have anything to say

she must really like them?

who is letting the kids do this stuff?

lol this is so nonsensical

no seriously…i wouldnt let me kid get this as a senior picture.

also totally nonsensical

dork!

lol ew

he <3s fire.

i kind of hate this kid

lol ridiculous

caption: “the photographer told me i could wear a hat”. this made me laugh SO hard for SO long.

mexicans

because people are funny

Quotes for you:

IMlifelike: “I haven’t cried this much since dad nailed me in the butt.”

GooberMcFly: “This is precisely the reason I keep a tube of warm mayonnaise nearby everytime I fark my wife.”

milk_plus: “On the Creepy-O-Meter, where 0 is a picture of a kitten playing with a ball of yarn and 10 is a dwarf in a clown suit furiously beating off in a freight elevator in front of some middle school girls with an Elmo puppet on his hand, I’d give this a 12.”

Kitwilly: “Some of us like to have table legs shoved up our ass. Is that so hard to understand?”

MuppetPastor: “I feel safe confessing that I manually stimulate myself while watching the teletubbies.”

sens: “I think your penis is trying to alert you to the gold deposits under your house.”

JJ Money, on attractiveness: “What if he has a cleft lip, but a huge dong?”

Kitwilly: “I used a cheese grater and sock puppet to stimulate my anus.”

tonkin: “I’m selfish in bed and don’t wash my crotch thoroughly.”

tea: “My meat curtains could use a new hemline.”

Zabbadizzat: “My seven-month old niece made this really funny Gary Coleman kind of face when I was shaking her to sleep last night.”

01SSJay, on driver etiquette: “It’s hard to park when your mom’s hair curlers are poking me in the balls.”

soze, on hygiene: “Dear God please clip back that sweat hedge above your peener.”

5000_gallons_of_toothpaste: “If I don’t wax my balls every Sunday, I can’t get my pantyhose to fit right. Perhaps I’ve said too much.”

5000_gallons_of_toothpaste: “If you can etch your name into someone’s ass with pee, it’s time to re-evaluate your drinking habits.”

Alice_Liddell: “I like my paper like I like my vaginas.”

Zabbadizzat: “Why does your wang smell of Geritol and Depends?”

Cowboy Spencer: “I’ve decided I’m going to try to poop on the doctor.”

webmasterjoe: “There’s syrup in my pubic hair.”

Loverboy586: “I reuse lube and mouthwash. It saves me like $5 a year.”

Eclectic: “Those aren’t anal warts… they’re love nubs!”

GWShenlong05: “Excuse me while I go attempt to remove the splintered shards of said broom-handle from my fart-box.”

ignom: “I get hardons when I see banana pudding.”

Alice_Liddell: “I always get a boner when I think about Jimmy Carter.”

bobgilbert: “When I am alone I like to rub myself with black olives.”

peck: “There is no need to give goats *any* oral. They just don’t appreciate it.”

Colgate: “I crap ottomans.”

why are my links not working properly?

Last night I went through a drive through and the hick lady at the window asked me if the Corky Romano (Chris Kattan) in my window was John Travolta.

This soooo cant be confused with John Travolta.

create your own personalized map of the USA
or check out ourCalifornia travel guide

while moderating on hotornot.com, i came across this picture. it is so funny/gross.

Thanks to everybody who commented on the tattoo idea. I was wanting honest opinions, and you guys gave ‘em to me, even though some of you shouldnt get quite as sassy with me. I am mostly joking. But yeah, thank you for the input.

The main point of this post is to say that for the last few weeks Ive been trying this new thing where I only let myself sleep 7-8 hours or less. No more sleeping 12-18 hours when I can. Anyways, after doing this about 3 weeks now, Ive gotten to a point where if I get into bed at least 8 hours before I need to wake up, my body will wake itself up at about the 7 and a half hour mark. Its pretty neat, because I HATE being woken up by my alarm clock. It always startles me in the morning and then I get pissed off, so waking up myself and then just turning my alarm off so it doesnt go off later rules. I also feel more awake and alert than when I used to sleep for HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS.

I didnt know your body could do that. Does anybody else do it, or am I crazy?

Not that I’ll really listen, but I’d like to know what other people think.

I saw this piece of art forever ago and liked it alot, then I saw a kid with it as a tattoo and i want to copy him.

click HERE for a bigger picture.

I want it in the same place he has it, on my back, and i want the butterflies going towards my shoulder like his, but not as far.

OPINIONS FROM THOSE WHO HAVENT GIVEN ME THEIRS YET?

I was going to finish my chest piece soon, but I am still trying to come up with what I want to do, and now I think I want to get this first.

If you have looked over my tards page (which is currently down AND SOMEBODY WONT FIX), you are sure to have seen a crossdresser who goes by the name of Jennifer Merrill. He/she/it takes tons of pictures of himself, much to my delight. I was browsing myspace and I noticed he had a myspace profile with a link to his/her/its personal website, Jen’s Diva Den (lol). I thought I would post a link so you guys can see all the pictures yourself, because if you are like me and find crossdressers hilarious, you will love it.

ON TO JEN’S DIVA DEN!

He/she/it always has such a goofy look on their face. It cracks me up.

Quotes:

1:00:35 thomasgrahamyost: do you shave under your arms?
1:00:46 thomasgrahamyost: do you go to grateful dead concerts?
1:00:54 thomasgrahamyost: do you smoke lots of weed?
1:01:02 thomasgrahamyost: do you masturbate and think about ann coulter?
1:01:26 iusemyseatbelt: No
1:02:04 thomasgrahamyost: do you listen to the mars volta?
1:02:52 iusemyseatbelt: no
1:07:14 thomasgrahamyost: are you obese?
1:07:35 iusemyseatbelt: Yes very
1:09:53 thomasgrahamyost: that sucks
1:10:07 thomasgrahamyost: maybe you should stop eating lard at the fatbar

8:04:06 thomasgrahamyost: why is every white trash child named sissy or bubby?
8:04:09 thomasgrahamyost: what is that?
8:04:25 thomasgrahamyost: PUT THAT DOWN, BUBBY
8:05:05 thomasgrahamyost: I’M GOING TO BEAT YOUR MOM EVEN MORE THAN USUAL IF YOU DON’T DROP THE KITKATS

2:08:42 thomasgrahamyost: count pissula?
2:08:53 iusemyseatbelt: Not in the mood
2:09:18 thomasgrahamyost: i’m in the mood for hamburger pies
2:10:28 thomasgrahamyost: and dashboard confessional

12:09:19 thomasgrahamyost: i wish i was a lesbian
12:14:20 thomasgrahamyost: or at least bisexual
12:14:31 thomasgrahamyost: how the fuck can i score any trendiness points if i don’t suck any cocks?

thomasgrahamyost: why do fat internet girlfriends always tell me about having sex?
thomasgrahamyost: lolol
thomasgrahamyost: it’s always like
thomasgrahamyost: I HAVE 2 GO 2 TALK 2 MY BOYFRIEND ABOUT ALL THE SEX WE HAD
thomasgrahamyost: BBL
thomasgrahamyost: i have to go eat bacon and get a major in lard

12:58:21 AM thomasgrahamyost: will u be my internet girl
12:58:28 AM iusemyseatbelt: sure
12:58:56 AM thomasgrahamyost: can i send u e-cards with puppies and shit on them
12:59:15 AM thomasgrahamyost: EYE HEART U 4 EVAR
12:59:24 AM thomasgrahamyost: ~!~!~!~!~!~!~!!

3:25:46 AM thomasgrahamyost: i want to be an emo republican

1:34:36 AM thomasgrahamyost: i don’t care what people say
1:34:41 AM thomasgrahamyost: but my away message is awesome
thomasgrahamyost went away (1:34:47 AM)
Away Message: hating george w bush sure does make my gothic beard grow faster than the rate at which i get piercings (1:34:47 AM)

1:43:26 PM thomasgrahamyost: i want to get a shirt that says vote for pedro the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe

11:30:43 PM thomasgrahamyost: i want to get AIDS in my ass
11:30:59 PM iusemyseatbelt: ew
11:31:06 PM iusemyseatbelt: why
11:31:08 PM iusemyseatbelt: are you gay also
11:31:10 PM thomasgrahamyost: no
11:31:21 PM thomasgrahamyost: i just want to be unique

11:41:54 PM thomasgrahamyost: my fucking face is too pockmarked or whatever to ever score any tail
11:41:58 PM iusemyseatbelt: Im sorry:(
11:42:05 PM thomasgrahamyost: so what do i do?
11:42:07 PM iusemyseatbelt: at least thr are no monkeys taht want to burn you
11:42:09 PM iusemyseatbelt: wear makeup
11:42:11 PM iusemyseatbelt: and be gay.
11:42:12 PM thomasgrahamyost: plastic surgery?
11:42:14 PM thomasgrahamyost: lol!!!
11:42:18 PM iusemyseatbelt: yes plastic surgery
11:42:23 PM thomasgrahamyost: i don’t think i’d make a very good queer
11:42:38 PM thomasgrahamyost: but i don’t make a very good heterosexual, either
11:42:47 PM iusemyseatbelt: you could go on that show
11:42:50 PM iusemyseatbelt: and they could make you gay
11:42:54 PM thomasgrahamyost: what show is that?
11:42:56 PM thomasgrahamyost: survivor?

11:45:53 PM thomasgrahamyost: i heart dan rather

12:14:25 AM thomasgrahamyost: MOTION city soundtrack hglbhlbhglhblbhlhbhlb linux

3:28:23 PM iusemyseatbelt: would you still be my friend if i were black
3:28:40 PM thomasgrahamyost: if i go crazy will you still call me superman
3:28:51 PM iusemyseatbelt: No.
3:28:55 PM iusemyseatbelt: I hate nickleback plz
3:29:05 PM thomasgrahamyost: if i’m alive and well will you be there eating tin cans

12:48:21 AM thomasgrahamyost: i love goats
12:49:21 AM thomasgrahamyost: physically

12:16:47 AM thomasgrahamyost: i may take a holiday in spain
12:16:53 AM thomasgrahamyost: leave my cheeseburgers behind me

1:34:10 AM thomasgrahamyost: Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet,
“Tina, come get some HAM!”
Along came a Liger who sat down beside her,
It was pretty much her favourite animal.

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet and street name)
Elmo Newland

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on father’s side first name, favorite candy)
Jane Chocolate (lol i couldnt think of a specific)

3. YOUR “FLY GIRL/GUY” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)
E Edd

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite animal, name of high school)
Monkey Mt. Vernon

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Mae Pittsburgh

6. YOUR OPPOSITE SEX NAME: (name of dad/mom, cell phone company you use)
Richard Cingular

7. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother’s maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet’s name)
Eddyredak

I studied until very late last night and got up early to study again for my test and I still didnt do that great.

The stupid thing only had 25 questions. That means you cant miss like, any.

I got an 18/25, or a 72%. The teacher explained though that all the tests were added up together and then figured out, so the 7 I missed wouldnt end up being that big of a deal. SUREEEEE.

I cry.
(when I first typed that, it came out “I fry.”, just so you know.)

omg 4 months 4 weeks 1 day til i graduate

Thanks readers (excluding jacob except for the second part), for not saying anything about my illness and also doing SPECTACULAR on my nursing test.

you guys are dicks