this and that

TOTAL THOUGHT DUMPAGE–WARNING 

I went to bed at a decent time last night. I set my alarm for 6am, as I had a nursing final today at 8 and wanted to study and get the best grade possible. I was awoken to a loud fire alarm at 3:45 am. I thought "what a terribly gay time for a practice drill!". I am not good at getting up so it took me a minute to get up and find clothes in my messy room. My room mate left before I did, so I made sure I picked up my room key incase we were still separated when we came back, and happened to pick up my cell phone which was sitting beside my key. As I was leaving my room, I realized I really had to pee. I nearly turned around to go real quick, since you always have all the time in the world with fire drills, but I smelled the faintest scent of smoke and decided to just wait. You see, sunday the alarm had gone off too, and somebody stupid had burned food in the kitchen in my hall and I was ticked off, so today I figured someone was up late studying for a final and burned their popcorn or something. So, angrily, I started walking down the hall, with a few other people because I had taken so long to get dressed.

As I got towards the lobby I heard shrill screaming. Horrible screaming, and pounding. I was like omg, why are people being so annoying this late at night? I continued walking out the double doors. When I got outside I approached a girl who was crying. I realized even thought it was 3:45 am and dark that her blonde hair and fair skinned face was black. Her teeth were black. Her lips were black, everything was black on her body and she was screaming "I cant find my room mate, she cant get out help help I cant find her" I then realized it was an actual fire. Smoke was billowing out of the top of the dorm. Within a few minutes there were massive red flames reaching terribly high. It was horrible. They took us all to the cafeteria. They did massive roll calls. They told us everyone was accounted for but several people were going to be taken to the hospital for smoke inhalation. I knew two of these people, but only knew that I knew one of them. I saw Jen…she was hyperventilating, and her blonde hair was also black and her face was totally smeared with black and there was ashes in her hair.

We sat around for a long time. Rumors were going around–someone had caught a couch on fire by accident on the 3rd floor in the west wing and people had been trapped. A couch was set on fire, but I dont know how, and people had been trapped inside. We were all shaken up and upset of course but sat around waiting to find out what was happening, how bad the fire was, etc. Then all of the sudden the president of our school , Dr. Bietz comes up front. Everyone is asked to be quiet, but there is still quiet chatter around the room. Dr. Bietz starts talking. "We have lost a life to smoke inhalation….."and he is crying. The room fell completely silent. Nobody spoke, moved, thought, nothing. Only Dr. Bietz. He was crying an crying as he explained how a girl had been trapped inside and they couldnt get to her and she had died. They didnt tell us her name. Her boyfriend was there though and so we all found out quickly who it was.

I thought everybody was ok. They did numerous role calls and said everyone was accounted for which we all took to mean basically ok. Then I found out who it was. Her name was Kelly Weimer.  She was THE sweetest, nicest girl ever. She was one of the only people who smiled and spoke to me each time we saw each other. My school set up a little forum to talk about her and this is what I posted:

"While I was not extremely close friends with Kelly, I will always remember the first time we met. I was sitting alone in health for life class my freshman year, since I did not know anybody or have any friends at southern yet. She approached me with a huge smile on her face and asked if I wanted a friend to sit with. From then on out we sat together and talked daily throughout the semester, and I enjoyed her friendship immensely.

Kelly was one of those people that you cant miss in a group of people; she was beautiful, bright, friendly and always had a smile for everyone.

May she always be remembered as the wonderful person who never had a frown on her face. "
 

It hasnt really hit me totally yet. I havent cried. I guess I am just in a state of shock still. Ive not really ever known someone my age who has died, except once. I had a friend my sophomore year of HS who killed himself. I’d known him since I was like 5, but I hadnt seen him in like 2 years. I saw Kelly every single day. Sometimes more than once a day. AND SHE ALWAYS WAS SO NICE.

Im just so traumatized….the screaming I heard and the pounding…that could have been her. She was stuck in her room. I got out and I heard her screaming. I got out and sat there and whined about it being cold while she died. The girls with the blackened faces and hair…I dont know. It was the same floor my sister was on, it could have been her. The girl who died’s room was 2 stories directly above my good friend Kristal’s room. The floors collapsed and stuff…I mean Krystal could have been killed even.

Im sitting here and I just keep hearing those screams over and over. They were so shrill and the pounding….I cant stop hearing them repeating in my head. I smell like smoke and I feel sick. 

Also, I took pictures of the damage so that you can see how awful it was. It was on national tv and stuff even…Here is a news article about the fire. Like, every news team has been here. They interviewed my sister. I didnt go outside, I didnt want to be asked to talk on tv and cry because I looked like crap seeing as to how I havent had any sleep. I suck. sort of.

Also many thanks to everyone who heard about it and has called me for support and to make sure I am ok, especially Jonah and Jamie and Lauren and especially Rickie. Rickie, if you are reading this, your call meant so much to me like you dont even know. It almost made me cry. The fact that you thought of me and called meant more to me than anything. It made my day/week/month/year. You are the greatest, I owe you big time. Seriously, I dont even know how to express my gratitude. Jonah too, I am so glad to have friends who care. Thank you guys so much.

I dont even know where I am going to stay tonight. They havent told us yet if we can stay in our rooms that werent damaged yet. They let us briefly go in and get some stuff and get out. I grabbed my computer and some books and some clothes and personal hygiene items and got out of there. I dont see how we could stay there anyways, the smell of toxic like fumes was too strong. Like when you burn plastic or foam or something…it was so strong me and kristal have a headache and my throat hurts. So yeah, I dont know where I am going to stay.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 26th, 2005 at 11:24 am and is filed under General, Nursing, Bad things. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.