movies not to watch
Ok so I just watched the movie "Taking Lives". It sounded ok on imdb, so I said hey why not and watched it even though I dont even like angelina Jolie (she is too dramatic with the whole dark makeup, tattoos, blood around the neck bad girl thing, she kisses her brother, looks just like her dad and is all manly in the face, her boobs are fake, and her lips look like bad plastic surgery. too fat, and she sticks them out like a fish too).
Dont watch this movie. Its beyond stupid, and horridly cheesy. why?
1. Angelina drives a mustang. FBI agents dont drive mustangs.
2. Angelina cant just know things like she does in the movie. Apparently if you feel a breeze with your hand it means there is a secret door behind a bookcase in a house you have just arrived at for the first time.
3. Real FBI agents dont lay in places where dead people were buried.
4. Apparently you can now enter a woman’s house and mount her and thrust away without giving any thought to foreplay, lubrication, or even unzipping your pants at all.
5. There is wayyyy too much Angelina nudity in this movie. It isnt necessary and takes away from the actual movie idea. Seriously, and the whole love scene with Ethan Hawke I just talked about above wasnt even that necessary, and lasted foooorrrrreeeevvaaaaaar. And to any retard that is reading this that is saying "huh huh huh angelina boobs huh huh huh hot youre stupid for saying her nude scenes are dumb" needs to grow up and think more with your head that is not in your pants.
6. Its all just too predictable. It isnt a "thriller" if there isnt any element of surprise.
7. Ethan Hawke kills his own mother in the elevator in a public building. I think if in real life you killed somebody in an elevator, there would be either someone in there with you and her or someone would her her scream. Also, how did he get out at the bottom with the blood everywhere without people being like omg and calling the cops? And even more than that last question I want to know how on earth he removed his mother’s head and had it off by the end of the elevator ride. I mean, come on people. He didnt have a saw or anything. How did he get it off that quick? How long IS an elevator ride? Even if it was like 100 floors, it would still take him forever to get it off.
8. The end sucks. They pretend she gets fired and moves to some old house in the middle of nowhere. She also wears a fake pregnant thing under her dress. So of course Ethan ends up at her house and is like thems my babies and she tells him to go away and she kills him and then takes out the pregnant thing and says eff you and he dies. worst ending ever.
the whole thing is unbelievable. the underlying plot thing is alright, since its like a man who kills people and takes their life over and becomes them. that is why i watched it, it sounded interesting. however, the movie doesnt even center around. its all about angelina and what she is doing and not wearing. she sucks and so do you for thinking she is hot you fags.
March 30th, 2005 at 3:10 pm
Wow, I see this movie sucked bad. Thanks for the commentary. I def am not going to waste my time on this movie! And I agree, Angelina is gross and she does stick out her lips like a fish :p
March 30th, 2005 at 3:24 pm
I have an idea. I will photoshop John Voight’s head on Angelina Jolie, and it will look like I didn’t do anything.
Meanwhile, I still cannot think of any photoshopping ideas for your site.
March 30th, 2005 at 3:25 pm
Also, OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.
OMG!!!!
March 30th, 2005 at 7:31 pm
lol omg
youre a funny man
March 30th, 2005 at 7:31 pm
ps jacob knows first hand how much omgs you say in this movie for real.
March 30th, 2005 at 7:33 pm
oh and yes jen she is miss fish woman
March 31st, 2005 at 1:53 pm
It sounded ok on imdb?
User Comments:
NOT ENOUGH POLICE/CRIME WORK, TOO MUCH JOLIE/HAWKE INNUENDO, 21 March 2004
Author: Kerry Heath (moolip76) from Crepe Suzette, FL
This movie was of course, going to be another “Copycat” or “Hannibal” in that it has a woman FBI agent going after a shady/sadistic criminal. Of course, the writers throw in Jolie’s character’s stupid quirks, like sleeping in the grave a body was found in, eating, bathing and sleeping with images of the body (that’s just too gross). And of course she comes up with some French after her Canadian detective coworkers talk about her behind her back. The movie pulls out all the stops.
And then we get to Ethan Hawke. I like his performances, but the whole innuendo and eventual making good between him and Jolie was so predictable. A paint by numbers movie. Oliver Martinez, Kiefer Sutherland, and Tcheky Karyo are wasted in this. Instead we find much of the movie focusing on Jolie’s inexplicable bond with dead things, and Hawke’s J.Crew with an art collection self.
And the ending. I think had the movie been clever throughout it’s entirety, the ending in Pennsylvania wouldn’t have been so cheesy. But when you take into account the movie was suspense 90% of the time, and then switches gears into a trick ending, the ending is so contrite and stupid that you leave the theater going “Why?”
Eh?
March 31st, 2005 at 3:20 pm
I didnt read many reviews. I just read the short plot outline. But yeah. This movie is one of the worst Ive ever seen.
May 6th, 2005 at 9:50 am
i agree with everything said here. i’ve seen the movie (unfortunately) and it does suck. my husband is obsessed with angelina (like WAY too many people are) and i knew that he liked the movie, so i read the info on it and it sounded ok. she really does the fish-lip thing a lot in this movie. her lips are already more than big enough. why stick ‘em out like that all the damn time? besides, i read once that she says she doesnt even like her lips being so big because she ‘’feels they take over her face'’. yeah right. she knows she loves it. being famous mainly because of them. i think they look disgusting. they look weird. why does every movie that she’s in have to be all about her trying to be cool and sexy? plus, her acting ‘’skills'’ suck. she acts the same in every movie. she’s always a bad-ass (the way she tries to be in real life) who’s psychic, knows every foreign language, always has these ‘’cool'’ comebacks whenever anyone says anything to her, she always has to take her clothes off/be seen in the shower…..i will not watch any more of her movies. i knew that she wasnt really pregnant at the end because thats just not the kind of role she would play. being pregnant would ‘’ruin'’ her ‘’perfect'’ body. she wont do it in real life; she wont do it in a movie. that just wouldnt be cool. it would make her less appealing or something, i guess. i think she’s a superficial idiot. all this united nations crap is just for show. thats why she stops and poses for pictures in the middle of meetings. she just wants people who dont like her to say ‘’aw…she’s not that bad after all.'’ well, its not gonna work for me. even when dealing with ‘’these important issues'’, she’s still making the fish-lip face and winking at every camera.