this and that

Ok, the first matter of business is that I started my fall classes. I am taking Comp 101, Nursing Fundamentals 1, and also Anatomy and Physiology II. That might not seem like too much but its awfully hard. Fundamentals is basically 4 classes in one. I have: 1. Regular class (8-9:50 am) 2. Lab (from now until october 8-12am, after october to december 6:30 am-12pm) 3. "Skills Lab" where you learn how to give shots and enemas and stuff, 5:30-7:30 4. "LRC" assigments in the Learning Research Center…tests and quizzes and stuff. Infact, the final test has 10 questions and it is required that you get 100% on it. So its all kinda retarded stuff to remember to do. Here are pictures of my teachers.

This is Lorella Howard. She is my Nursing Fundamentals teacher. She seems nice.

This is my A&P teacher. His last name is Aagaard. Thats alot of As. Im not sure if I like him yet.

This is my Comp teacher. She is nice but seems a little odd. She says she has 3 boyfriends.

— //Next matter of business…a girl named "Becky" down the hall has a john kerry bumper sticker on her door. Since she is ugly and I do not like her, I decided to write on my message board on my door a message advertising my opinions. This is why she is ugly:

This is her door: This is my door: Notice someone already commented. Within an hour, someone erased BUSH and wrote in YUCK! — //Next matter of business…I got my new plugs. Here is a picture of myself wearing black ones: — //I tried the new Mountain Dew "Pitch Black" soda: It claims to have a "blast of black grape", which makes me think "lemon lime and grape?" but it basically just tastes like plain grape soda. Look how EXTREME the label is with its flashy silver labeling and accents. I give it a thumbs down for being EXTREMEly yucky. However, CocaCola brand C2 is tasty. I hate diet drinks, but for having half the sugar, it isnt bad. It gets a thumbs up. — //Btw I got a tb test today for nursing. — ////MISC//// - In a&p lab two different retards asked me where the penis is on the model of the male reproductive system. One of them pointed to the testes and asked if they were right. - Also in a&p lab, a black negro from africa with a thick accent asked me where the "hypermoose" was on the model of the brain. I wasnt sure what she was talking about, as no large members of the deer family on caffeine are located in the human brain. So I showed her all 3 of the endocrine glands in the brain so that I could avoid offending her. She then points to the hypothalamus and states "so dis ees de hypermoose?", and I said yes. She is also one of the people that asked me about the penis. She though, pointed to the penis and said "dis ees de testees?" and me and a TA that was standing there tried not to laugh and said no. - My fundamentals teacher mentioned in class monday that we do some of the skill learning on each other, such as giving each other IVs and injections, blood pressures, etc, but we do not give each other enemas. I was so glad she mentioned that, because I totally thought I’d get to give a classmate an enema. I seriously hope she wasnt serious.

I came across a site today with a list of really bad country names. Some of them are not only bad, but pretty funny. I guess the person verified if they were actual song titles, so laugh at how dumb people are.

—

All I Want From You (Is Away)

Billy Broke My Heart at Walgreens and I Cried All the Way to Sears

Drop Kick Me Jesus (Through The Goal Posts Of Life.)

Get Off The Stove,Grandma, You’re Too Old To Ride The Range

Get Off the Table, Mabel (The Two Dollars is for the Beer)

Get Your Biscuits In The Oven, And Your Buns In The Bed.

Going to Hell in Your Heavenly Arms

He Went To Sleep and The Hogs Ate Him (Now Claude’s Gone Forever)

Hog Sloppin’ Time in the Hollow [this is supposedly a TRUE love song.]

How Can I Get Over You Till You Get Out from Under Him?

How Come Your Dog Don’t Bite Nobody But Me?

How Did You Get so Ugly Overnight?

I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

I Don’t Care if it Rains or Freezes ‘Long as I Have My Plastic Jesus Sittin’ on the Dashboard of my Car [im pretty sure ive actually heard this one]

I Don’t Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

I Fell for Her, She Fell for Him, and He Fell for Me

I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart

I Got the Hungries for Your Love, and I’m Waitin In Your Welfare Line

I Sat Down On A Beartrap (Just This Morning)

I Spent My Last Ten Dollars on Birth Control and Beer

Wanna Be A Blue Light Special In The K Mart Of Your Heart

I Was Looking Back to See If You Were Looking Back to See If I Was Looking Back to See if You Were Looking Back at Me

I Went Back to My Fourth Wife for the Third Time and Gave Her a Second Chance to Make a First Class Fool Out of Me

I’d Rather Hear A Fat Girl Fart Than A Pretty Boy Sing

I’d Rather Pass a Kidney Stone than Another Night With You

If I Can’t Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You

If I’d Killed You When I Wanted To, I’d be Out of Jail By Now

If I Had a Nose Full of Nickels, I’d Sneeze Them All Atchoo!

If She Hadn’t Been So Good Lookin’ I Might Have Seen the Train

If You Can’t Live Without Me, Why Aren’t You Dead?

I Like Bananas Because They Have No Bones [ive heard brak sing this??]

Jesus Loves Me But He Can’t Stand You

Messed Up In Mexico, Living On Refried Dreams

One Day When You Swing That Skillet (My Face Ain’t Gonna Be There)

She Broke My Heart, I Broke Her Jaw

There Ain’t Enough Room in my Fruit Of The Looms to Hold All My Lovin’ For You

We Feed Our Babies Onions So We Can Find ‘Em In The Dark

You can Lock Me Up in Jail & Throw Away the Key, But You Can’t Keep My Face from Breaking Out

You Done Blacked My Blue Eyes Once Too Often

You Done Stomped On my Heart (and You Mashed That Sucker Flat)

You’re The Hangnail In My Life, And I Can’t Bite You Off

You’re The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

800 Pound Jesus

from http://www.downstream.sk.ca/country.htm .
—

Hope you got a hearty chuckle or two, cuz I did. My throat is sore.

remember the post about me dissecting a cat? here is a picture of the cat. again, you’ll have to click on it, cuz i dont want anyone to vomit.

kitty.jpg

Oh, and if you were curious, the yellow things are tags we had to label different muscles with. This involves really gross things such as sticking your fingers inbetween different muscle layers and nastiness like that.

This is my new RA.

I was just looking at pictures of people from my school online and saw her and felt like posting a picture of her. She is nice. Her name is Yuki Higashide. She is from Japan. Eat your heart out, Jacob.

I love my kaos silicone plugs so much, that I purchased 2 more pairs yesterday from bmeshop.com. I cannot wait for them to arrive. I purchased:

Black- because I like black

and clear, so I can wear them to class and not get caught.

If you are wondering about the not getting caught thing, yeah, my school is retarded and we cant wear jewelry and if we get caught, we must take them out, we are fined $25, and they like watch and check you in the future. If you are caught again, the fine goes up to $50, and then $25 more for each offense. So I really dont want to get caught because I have put too much money and time into my ear holes to have to take them out. Since I just stretched my ears to 0 and the pink ones I showed you in a previous post are all I have right now in a 0, I really need to stop taking the chance of getting caught with them and my clear ones need to arrive soon! Whoopee!

yah, so i went to buy my books for the fall before the big rush. I have so many I literally almost couldnt carry them. A guy had to help me sit them on the counter where you pay for them. The chick put them in bags for me, so it was a little easier, but the bags almost ripped. Here is my $482.97 dollars worth of fall books for you to see:

Can you roll your tongue : yah

Can you raise one eyebrow at a time : totally. babies and adults alike love this.

Can you blow smoke rings: no

Can you blow spit bubbles : no but steven sure can. actually, ive never really tried. i dont know the mechanics.

Can you cross your eyes : sort of i guess. this isnt something i often attempt

Do you make your bed daily : never

Which shoe goes on first : whichever is closer to me lol

Speaking of shoes, have you thrown one at someone : probably so

What’s sexiest on a guy : happy trail/stomach hair or hands

What’s sexiest on a girl : same ahahaha I am just kidding. eyes or hands.

Would you rather be on time and look Tacky or late and look great : late and looking grrrrrrreat! Ive met tony the tiger, you know.

Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it : i dont eat spaghetti. 1000 of something is just too many. (thanks mitch.)

How many boxes of cereal are in your cabinet : 0

What utensils do you use for eating pizza : none…if i do eat it.

Do you cook : not too often, dont have a stove at school. but i am a microwave chef all the way.

GROOMING

How long do showers/baths last : 15-20 minutes minimum

Hair drying method : blow dry.

Do you mumble to yourself : no?

Do you spit in public?: if i need to, but not often because it looks stupid.

OTHER

What color is your bedroom : white and dark blue
Do you use an alarm clock : yes

Have you ever skinny dipped with the opposite sex : no. well, when i was little.

Ever sunbathed in the nude?: yes

Window seat or aisle : aisle, cuz i gotta pee all the time. i have the worlds smallest, most spastic bladder.

What’s your sleeping position : stomach usually. side sometimes.

What kind of bed do you like : well my ideal bed would be a SAND BED. that’d be awesome. I like waterbeds though. I had one for many a years. From the time I was born (dude, i had a crib waterbed) til we moved into dr. roddy’s house (8th grade).

In hot weather do you use a blanket : if its really hot in the room, prolly only a sheet. but i demand AC!

Do you snore : not usually

Do you sleepwalk : nope

Do you talk in your sleep : yes duh

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal : no.

How about the light on : no, or i cant sleep very well

Do you fall asleep with the tv or radio on : NO WAY i can’t

w h e n - w a s - t h e - l a s t - t i m e - y o u

Watched Bambi : maybe when i was five

Talked on the phone (to whom): Steven probably

Punched someone : Herm…Steven probably

m u s i c q u e s t i o n s

Is music important to you?: yes please

Do you sing?: beautifully so

d o - y o u - l i k e

Pop music: sometimes it is fun.

Rock music : i suppose

Punk music : maybe

Rap music : only as a joke and to make steven mad

Hip-Hop/RB : no

Country : NO THANK YOU

Jazz : no

Classical : maybe occasionally. I can tolerate it.

New age : what the crap is new age?

What song(s) makes you cry? The Shining by Badly Drawn Boy

What song makes you happy? The Future Freaks me out by Motion City Soundtrack or almost any Ben Folds

What do you like to listen to before bed? anything? nothing in particular i suppose.

a p p e a r a n c e

HEIGHT: 5′2″

HAIR COLOR: black and red

SKIN COLOR: olive…haha

PIERCINGS: yes

TATTOOS: not yet

r i g h t - n o w

WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: im not wearing pants. but i am wearing blue shorts.

WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: Time is Running Out by Muse

WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: Hubba Bubba gum ahahahaha

WHAT’S THE WEATHER LIKE?: rainy

HOW ARE YOU? tired/stressed out. final today, another one tomorrow.

d o - y o u
GET MOTION SICKNESS?: unfortunately. my little otoliths arent very tolerant:(

HAVE A BAD HABIT?: i am very easily irritated, i chew too much gum, im too fat, and also i spend too much time on hotornot.com.

GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: i suppose. but not my dad, he is a jerk.

f a v o r i t e s

TV SHOW: Some forensic show probably. or ATHF.

CONDITIONER: Matrix brand Sleek look smoothing system conditioner. my hair is unruly without it.

MAGAZINE: I dont really read them

DRINK: coke. the new c2 is surprisingly good, and i hate diet drinks.

THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: steven

RAPPER: group x arabian rap sensation

h a v e - y o u

BROKEN THE LAW: speeding basically only.

RAN AWAY FROM HOME: when i was in like 2nd grade me and my sister did…but we kept coming back to the house to get stuff we wanted so it didnt work out.

SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE: no

MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: yes

USED YOUR PARENTS’ CREDIT CARD BEFORE: yes, but not without their permission or anything.

SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: yes

FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: lol yah

LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: of course

r a n d o m

DO YOU HAVE A JOB: pshhh no, my parents give me whatever i want.

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: steven. my eMac when it isnt being dumb. athf. musics. good food (im fat, cant forget the food)

WHO MAKES YOU THE HAPPIEST?: steven

WHAT’S THE NEXT CD YOU’RE GONNA GET?: i dont know.

w h e n / w h a t - w a s - t h e - l a s t

TIME YOU CRIED?: yesterday

YOU GOT A REAL LETTER? sometime this summer

TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: the olympics at steven’s parents house

FIRSTS

First job: I was a reader in the science department at school my senior year. OH WAIT– I basically did everything because everyone else retarded and cant do anything right.

First kiss: *shudders*

First screen name: on what? msn i think was the first messenger i got, and my email address was wacked03@hotmail.com

First self purchased CD: probably Jesus Freak by DcTalk the summer before 5th grade

First funeral: my great grandma i think

First piercing/tattoo: my ears when i was like 3 months old

First credit card: i dunno. last year or the year before

First true love: Chris Hoium

First enemy: Jennifer?

First big trip: probably myrtle beach when i was really little

First musician you remember hearing in your house: madonna probably

LASTS

Last big car ride: probably driving 8 hours down here last month

Last kiss: steven

Last library book checked out: lol i dont READ

Last movie seen: super troopers

Last beverage drank: coke

Last food consumed: chips n salsa

Last CD played: whole cd or what? this question is dumb.

Last annoyance: my overactive adipose tissue

Last ice cream eaten: dont remember

Last time Yelled at: winndixie’s manager. ask me about it sometime.

Last shirt worn: I wore a green shirt to study in the lab tonight.

Last website visited: blogger.com obviously

LAST PERSON YOU…
-hugged: steven
-IMed: steven
-talked to on the phone: steven
-yelled at: steven
-fell in love with: steven
-tripped: tupac

THE END! now you know everything about me.

LAUREN: i’m back
ME: welcome back and such
LAUREN: why thank you
ME: oh youre welcome so muchly.
LAUREN: that’s very polite like of you
ME: Oh thank you for noticing, Lauren, I have been working on my manners presently.
LAUREN: well that’s very impressive emily, i applaud your efforts
ME: I appreciate this deeply and with the whole of my heart.
LAUREN: wow that’s too kind, you must stop being so gracious
ME: oh but i insist, my fair maiden, tis not often i get but the chance to speak to someone with your grace and beauty, m’lady.
LAUREN: hark! tis the fairest of all if you could only look in the mirror
ME: Oh you flatter me, Lauren darling!
LAUREN: i try
ME: My cheeks now blusheth red, like the rose, or your beautiful lips.
LAUREN: ok i give you win

I AM ALL THAT IS MAN!

I took a picture of shelley in the lab today while we were studying cuz I got bored. I decided to diagram this, here are some parts:

A. Pinna aka auricle aka external ear cartilage

B. External Auditory Meatus
C. Auditory or Eustacian canal
D. Cochlea
E. Semicircular Canals
F. Round Window
G. Tympanic Membrane aka ear drum
H. Bones of the ear (Malleus, Incus, Stapes)
I. Vestibule
J. Forehead, being expressed by the facial muscle
K. Nose
L. Tooth
M. Insula (its in the middle of your brain)

The end!

What a swell review.

dont click on this link if cow eyeballs gross you out.

100_0485.JPG

i sure am glad my name is not barbara.

I dont like that name.

I stuck pins with labels on them in a sheep’s brain today.

Also, this is a great picture lauren made on paint:

This is also funny, I saw it on like furryfolks.com or something:

http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=NLAMASH&key=PTX

and while i am at it with famous people,

http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=NZRMHQG&key=RXJ
this is raab himself.

http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=OLB8ESS&key=YFA
you guys know who this is.

I was reading through my old journal, http://www.deadjournal.com/~emily13 , when I saw this entry, and it made me laugh. If you remember the “rate a buddy” thing AIM had for a while (i dont know if they still do since i dont use aim), this is the application to be a “contestant” in the ratings I concocted when I was bored one day, with the help of chris.
—

About me:

Hi, my name is Hillary Clinton, funny huh? Im no relation to the Senator though. I currently am going to college in Ohio as a mortician major/bee keeping minor. I enjoy music such as michael bolton, the misfits, metallica and celine dion. I make all my own clothes. I am an active harp player and i also hunt all my own meat. I love Jesus and I attend the Old Dayton Independant Congregational Gospel Fellowship Mission Alliance Assembly Disciples of American United Orthodox Reformed Evangelical Korean Southern Baptist Science of the Prophecy Community Temple of the living Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour of the Brethren. We handle snakes! My favorite food is coconut.

Why should you be on rateabuddy?

I would like to show the world Me because i am so wonderful and have a great personality and charming appearance, and besides that, i’d like to help save people from hell. I hope that i can show others the way to salvation and make the world the better place through extensive snake handling and the friendship of a lifetime. No one ever lets me be on sites because i am not beautiful by the worlds standards, but i am a Princess to my Jesus and He loves me very much.
—

Me and chris laughed pretty hard. it was a good time.

Ok. This is funny. Apparently I am ugly. You see that picture in my last post? Well, I just changed my picture to it on hotornot.com. Out of 10, I am a 3.6. Here is a link to my rating page, so rate me as you see fit.

http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=NLOMASE&key=EHC

Feel free to tell me if you vote below 5, so I can hit you something fierce.

My new plugs finally came in the mail! yay! I got them from the shop at bmezine.com. They are super neat. They are Kaos brand “soft wear” plugs, made of silicone, and are squishy and neat. The only think I dont like is that they are a little bit long. I guess they sell shorter ones, but they are more expensive (that doesnt make sense- more silicone, more money? but no, its the opposite.), and bme doesnt sell them. They come in all kinds of colors though, from the pink ones I got to green or translucent purple or ones with glitter. They are sooooo cool. You all need them and should get them. Here is my ear, with my pretty new plug in it.

My ears are 0s now, just like Stevens. Thats the only reason I stretched them again, to be like him.

Worst Advice I have ever received:

“Make the most of every day! Wake up at 8 am every day, even if you dont have class!”

Yeah right, maybe if I went to college in the FIFTIES, retard!

Im bored, so here is a picture of my iPod with a blue iSkin on it.

I bought this jacket.

It is my new prized possession. I look super hot in it.

Oh, and for those of you who dont know what it is because you are retarded, its a Gryffindor jacket. I sure do like me a Harry Potter.

Oh, you guys are too funny.

Today I dissected my first cat. It was gross and greasy. First we had to cut off all the fat. They come skinned, luckily, so we didnt have to do it. We named ours garfield because it is black and orange. Or it used to be (they have hair on their faces and feet and end of their tail). I pierced its ear, and got an immense amount of amusement from this. I washed my hands 4 times afterwards, up to my elbows, and I cannot get the smell off of myself. Its horrible. I had to eat lunch (my lab is right before lunch and ends at 12) with gloves on that I had in my room, usually for hair dying so that I couldnt smell it. I like cats; I think we should dissect something I dont like. Like William Shatner.

My brother’s birthday is Monday, so I asked my mom for gift ideas. She was trying to tell me about a video game richie wants for his birthday and she could not think of the name…but says it sounds like “sphincter cell”. She had to ask him what it was. Of course, it was splinter cell, but sphincter cell sure is funny. I’d like to try that game out.

I got chinese take out for dinner because the stupid cafeteria at school was serving leftover hot dogs from 2 nights ago for dinner again. The lady included two fortune cookies in my bag, and this is what one of them said:

I dont understand it, but its kinda funny that its messed up. I watched “the girl next door” today. its really lame. dont watch it.

I read some stuff about Steve Buscemi today out of boredom, and I found out something kinda neat. If its true, at least. It said that he:

“Showed up at his old firehouse the day after the World Trade Center tragedy in New York to volunteer. Worked twelve hour shifts for a week after the terrorist act, digging through rubble with his old comrades looking for missing firefighters… anonymously. [September 2001]”

I guess one of the jobs he did before becoming a movie star was work as a volunteer fireman. Thats neat. I like Steve Buscemi. I always thought if I had a dad, I’d want one like Steve Buscemi. Or Alan Thicke from Growing Pains. He was hip.

I was bored last night, so I put “Waverly, Ohio” (the town I grew up in, and went to highschool 3 years in) to see what I could find. There was a lot of crap to sift through, you know, “Find hotels in Waverly, Ohio!” etc, but I found a few actual sites. One of them was for a news site. You know how on google there is like the title of the page, and then a little bit about it underneath? This is what it said:

Wedding bells ring for interracial couple. Sunday, July 16, 2000. Rita Price Dispatch Staff Reporter. WAVERLY, Ohio — Love found a way yesterday. …

That is seriously how racist Waverly is. It is NEWS when black and white people marry…and obviously its some sort of challenge, because for them, “love found a way”.

In my sophomore year in HS, I remember my teacher telling us about the presence of the KKK in our area. He told us that the center of the KKK, where they have their national meetings is in Jackson, Ohio, not too far from Waverly. He also informed us that the KKK had had demonstrations on the schools front parking lot and lawn in the past.

Its really sad, actually. Even my parents are against like black and white marriages. They are crazy though. Like…when I went to academy my senior year, we didnt have dances, we had “banquets” that didnt involve dancing, because dancing is a NO NO for seventh day adventists. I only went to a few, I am not a big dresser upper. So the “Winter Banquet” is coming up and I wasnt planning on going, right? Well this little freshman kid, Jor’don Herring, AN AFRICAN AMERICAN, asks me if I’ll go with him. I thought it would be funny to say yes, and went. My parents were upset. I mean, I wasnt even dating the kid and they were upset. My sister went to the “Junior-Senior Banquet”, the equivalent of the prom, with a black guy and my parents were mad. My sister had a crush on this black guy and told everyone about it and they were mad. My sister has even decided now she only likes black guys. With long hair. I hope she marries one too, just to make my parents upset.

The world is crazy.

Btw- That Dickie Roberts, Former Child Star movie is cute. I dont always laugh out loud at movies but I did several times on this one.