silly aim conversations
I am a terrible person, I know. But I have fun.
triooo_1: hi
emily_strange_13: hi
triooo_1:how r u
emily_strange_13: who is this?
triooo_1: this my niece lojayna [ed. note: wtf???]
triooo_1: i’am muhammad from egypt
triooo_1: we talked before
emily_strange_13: oic, how are you?
triooo_1: i’am pretty fine, u?
emily_strange_13: I am sad
triooo_1: why
emily_strange_13: I am soooo lonley! All 14 of my boyfriends dumped me, and I am sooo horny.
triooo_1: ooh sorry
emily_strange_13: me too. my virginia is on fire with lust like a fountain
triooo_1: vagina
emily_strange_13: thats what i said
triooo_1: No, u said virginia.
emily_strange_13: Oh yes in america we call it a virginia sometimes. it is sexier that way.
triooo_1: its like the name of an Queen from england
emily_strange_13: Queen Virginia?
triooo_1: yes
emily_strange_13: Oh, yeah.
triooo_1: she’ was a legend of beauty there
emily_strange_13: amazing
triooo_1: & all over eroupe
emily_strange_13: you sure know a lot about eroupian history
triooo_1: it’s true story & legend
emily_strange_13: AND legend? cool! Thanks for teaching me something today muhammed.
triooo_1: yes she’s not famous but she was the most pretty woman & all kings & prince was horney on her face not even body
emily_strange_13: I wish men were horney on my face. all over my face.
triooo_1: do u have a pic
emily_strange_13: Are you horny on my face?
triooo_1: i didn’t saw it yet
emily_strange_13: oh ok
triooo_1: i like commetment & marriage i hate to know much girls. just one & b my wife& neva look for another
emily_strange_13: So you dont want to have sexual intercourse with me?
triooo_1: why
emily_strange_13: Im really horney babby
triooo_1: how old r u emily
emily_strange_13: 81
triooo_1: ooh too old to be horney
emily_strange_13: i mean 18
triooo_1: aha. we can control of our bodies, i mean muslims & good believer
emily_strange_13: we can have muslim sex like two dirty little terrorists!
triooo_1: try to control urslef don’t b horny except u wanna b
emily_strange_13: lets have muslim cybar sex then baby
triooo_1: i’am not terrorists
emily_strange_13: sure you are. now bang me!
emily_strange_13: *takes off all my clothes*
emily_strange_13: *takes off all your clothes*
triooo_1: everytime u say that i’am terrorist
emily_strange_13: Im hot and ready take me now
emily_strange_13: *you shove your sand covered ding dong in my hoohah*
emily_strange_13: Mmmmm YES! oh yes give it to me jihad man!
triooo_1: jihad? hoohah??
emily_strange_13: no call yourself osama
emily_strange_13: that’s hotter
emily_strange_13: do me harder, osama
emily_strange_13: *you do me harder*
triooo_1: ok bye i hate that
emily_strange_13: OH OSAMA BANG ME WITH YOUR WEINER OF TERRORISM
triooo_1: i’am not terrorist
emily_strange_13: YOU SEXY TOWEL HEADED BEAST
emily_strange_13: *you put your weiner in my pooper*
emily_strange_13: oh hot your camel just started licking your balls from behind
emily_strange_13: mmm you know thats how i like it
emily_strange_13: *you blow up*
emily_strange_13: omg you faggy suicide bomber. silly terrorist, come back!
triooo_1: i’am not terrorist
emily_strange_13: you are supposed to come back from the dead now
emily_strange_13: and bang me with your zombie muslim weiner
triooo_1: i’am egyptian man
emily_strange_13: *pees on the koran*
triooo_1: good one muslim. bye
emily_strange_13: you made me so horny, thanks for the hot muslim cybar sex
triooo_1: sorry for bothering uemily_strange_13
emily_strange_13: *hands you your pee sopping koran back and accidentally soils your dress. I MEAN ROBE THINGY*
triooo_1: i didn’t said anything to b horny
emily_strange_13: dangerous men make me wet…oh man when you suicide bombed yourself it was sooo incredibly sexy baybee
emily_strange_13: and all muslims are dangerous terrorists, by the way.
emily_strange_13: well i am going to go eat some delicious american food and breathe the sweet air of freedom that you’ll never know since you live in some crappy muslim place. have fun with your goats. bye!
This guy really likes my emily_strange_13 profile. Its fake of course, and features a 14 year old girl that he wants to do sexual things with. Yes, he is a pervert.
nathanglover200318: hey u there?
emily_strange_13: No.
emily_strange_13: Sorry.
nathanglover200318: how can u say no if ur not there?
emily_strange_13: I am an automated robot set to inform yahoo users of my owner's absence.
nathanglover200318: oh wow pretty smart robot
nathanglover200318: but I don't believe that
nathanglover200318: for some reason I don't think a robot would answer the second question
emily_strange_13: I am Intellibot3000. My owner, emily_strange_13 is currently away. Please leave a message or get the crap away from me.
nathanglover200318: an intellibot that says get the crap away from me good good.lol just wantin to chat to some new ppl away from where I live but I will leave u alone then bye
emily_strange_13: Thank you for your message. I will either deliver it to my owner or lose it, depending on my mood when they return. Thank you.
This young man emailed me from hotornot.com. Apparently he thinks he is really cool. Here, just so you know the background information, is his profile picture link and also the email he sent:
his picture: http://pix4.hotornot.com/pics/HL/H8/HE/KE/KZOSOSGLGBCS.jpg
most of the email:
I'm 24, and more than the usual amount of interesting and
funny, so you'd better like to laugh. You sound like you might make an
interesting friend, so let's get together for a cup of something
wonderful and some stimulating conversation... if you think you can
handle it, that is!
Later,
Bryan
If you didnt notice, thats totally gay. Cup of something wonderful? Gasoline is wonderful cuz it makes my car go. He needs to be more specific. If I think I can handle him? What does he think he is??
Here is what happened when I messaged him:
me: The note you sent me from Hot or Not was horrid.
AerofanTN: horrid???
me: Yes, it was really lame
AerofanTN: you think?
me: Yeah, totally.
AerofanTN: how so?
me: "let's get together for a cup of something
wonderful" = lame
AerofanTN: you must have a lot of time on your hands to waste to be IM'ing me about this
me: "if you think you can
handle it, that is!" = super lame
AerofanTN: If you don't want to talk to me then FUCK OFF
me: Yeah, I totally do have plenty of time to waste because I am on my semester break!
me: I do want to talk to you, to tell you that you are lame.
AerofanTN: I'm not lame, you just have poor taste, now fuck off
AerofanTN logged out.
I SWITCH USERNAMES BECAUSE HE BLOCKED ME
me: Hey guess what
AerofanTN: what?
me: YOU ARE LAME!
AerofanTN: get a fucking life
me: youre so lame you make maury look awesome
AerofanTN Not logged in
SWITCHED USERNAMES AGAIN BECAUSE HE BLOCKED ME YET AGAIN
me: hey want to go to my website??
me: www.youarefreakinglame.com
me: your email was the worst email ive ever received, lame-o boy
AerofanTN Not logged in
I SWITCH USERNAMES AGAIN BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHY
me: hey whats your favorite tv show? mine is BRYAN IS LAME
AerofanTN: are you 12 or something?
me: yes
me: Thats right, I am 12.
me: you have guessed correctly, Captain Lame-O.
me: You masturbate to pictures of Rosie O'Donnell
me: You like to have sex with little boys
me: and grandmas.
me: hey bryan
AerofanTN Not logged in
I SWITCH USER NAMES AGAIN. I HAVE WAY TOO MANY.
me: hey bryan
me: do you go to Lame University? cuz if not i think you could get a full ride for free!
AerofanTN Not logged in
YOU GUESSED IT
me: You cant win, I have a millions of screen names!
(18:33:37) AerofanTN logged out.
YES I HAVE EVEN MORE!
me: hey bryan you suck
me: you suck big floppy donkey balls
AerofanTN: who the hell are you?
me: You clicked yes to me on HoN
me: I am a girl.
AerofanTN: ok, that doesn't narrow it down for me at all
me: I have red hair
me: and I am making a kissy face in my picture because I love everyone except you
me: cuz youre really lame :)
AerofanTN: gotcha
AerofanTN: you must have really low self esteem if you put this much effort into insulting strangers OVER THE INTERNET
me: Yah you totally suck and you like to lick your grandmother
me: No actually I have a just fine amount of self esteem
me: I just want you to know you are totally stupid and need to be killed. BTW your picture on hotornot is really lame
me: what, are you supposed to be some sort of space man
me: youre the faggiest space man ive ever seen
me: faggy mclame
AerofanTN: I was just screwing around with photoshop
me: yeah you suck at photoshop too
me: dont you have an appt. to go spank your grandpa or something?
AerofanTN: my god! who the hell asked you? go the hell away jackass
me: Nobody asked me, I am freely volunteering my opinions to you so that you can better yourself
me: because I CARE :)
me: where did you go faggot
me: BRYAN
AerofanTN: what?
me: did you leave to go suck your dog's penis
me: or was it to clip your mom's toenails
me: or did you leave to watch disney movies??
AerofanTN: wow! you're so damn creative! you're the fucking insult master
me: I know it i am great
me: I thought your letter said you are "more than the usual amount of interesting and funny, so you'd better like to laugh."
me: where does the interesting and funny part start
me: i am waiting
AerofanTN: I'm not into 12 yr olds
me: Yeah, because I am really actually 12.
AerofanTN: well you fucking talk like it, so why should I believe otherwise
me: I totally look like a flat chested 12 year old
me: oh my dont curse at me you hardcore faggot, i am so upset
me: bryan where did you go
AerofanTN: I don't feel the need to talk to you
AerofanTN: I was hoping you went somewhere
me: No, I am right here:)
AerofanTN: well damn
me: So why is it that you are so lame?
AerofanTN: I think the real question is: why is it that you think that I am lame?
me: I told you earlier
me: your picture was the worst part.
AerofanTN: not really, you just said this is lame and that is lame, never a why
me: I dont know why you are lame, thats why I am asking you!
me: Maybe your parents are lame, and it was hereditary.
me: Or maybe you have aids
AerofanTN: and honestly, I'm not terribly concerned about your oppinion and I don't need to justify myself to you
AerofanTN: WTF?
AerofanTN: aids?
AerofanTN: WTF does aids have to do with anything?
me: people with aids are lame
me: so i thought maybe you had THE AIDS
me: especially since your a little faggot
AerofanTN: what does being a faggot have to do with aids? just as many straight people have aids
me: no, more fags have it
me: God invented the aids to get rid of fags
AerofanTN: God doesn't exist. ha!
me: Sure he does, your agnostic moron!
me: ooooh arent you an intellectual!
AerofanTN: damn!
me: You think youre sooo cool and sooo modern by saying God doesnt exist, but you are wrong and that makes you lamer.
AerofanTN: ok, but the christian god doesn't exist then
AerofanTN: how am I wrong?
me: Sure, God exists.
AerofanTN: prove it
me: Prove there isnt, moron.
me: Anyways, I didnt message you to discuss whether there was a god or not, the point I would like to make is that you are really lame and you need a new picture on HoN because you are not a space man.
AerofanTN: yeah, you've told me that already, why are we still talking?
me: because you have to accept and admit how lame you are first
AerofanTN: If I do, will you go away?
me: No!:)
AerofanTN: you must not have any friends, I'm so sorry
me: No, youre right, I dont
me: and that totally correlates!
AerofanTN: I thought this was really funny :"Hi, this is a message brought to you by a HoN moderator. "Hiding" your user names in your picture doesnt work, neither does putting asterisks in between the letters. We read them. Derrrr."
thats what my profile says on hotornot.com just fer your information.
me: Oh, thank you bryan!
AerofanTN: don't mention it
AerofanTN: gotta go
me: you know what, you sound like an OK guy.
me: Lets start over.
AerofanTN: haha
me: Nice to meet you, I am emily.
me: I am a college student from Tennessee, and I think youre really lame.
me: wait sorry
me: I meant I think youre pretty cool
me: Nice to meet you!
AerofanTN: yeah... um... you too
AerofanTN: ttyl i guess
(19:02:39) me: where are you going
AerofanTN Not logged in
me: where did you go butthole
AerofanTN Not logged in
I guess he left me.
needsleepnow14: hi, lol
emily_strange_13: hello
needsleepnow14: hey
needsleepnow14: how are you?
emily_strange_13: I am not so good
needsleepnow14: sorry to hear that
emily_strange_13: my interjectionitis is acting up
emily_strange_13: HOLY COW!
needsleepnow14: huh, lol
emily_strange_13: its a condition, where if not treated i have a compulsion to yell interjections
emily_strange_13: please excuse them, you seem really kewl
needsleepnow14: lol
emily_strange_13: its not funny
needsleepnow14: sorry, I didn't mean to be like that
needsleepnow14: like I said, you're 14 right?
emily_strange_13: yes
needsleepnow14: I didn't look at your profile, I thought you were older, lol
needsleepnow14: you seem cool though
emily_strange_13: Thanks, you too
emily_strange_13: So what kind of music do you like?
needsleepnow14: stuff before your time, 1980s
needsleepnow14: Rush and the like
emily_strange_13: I like 80s too though! my favorite band will always be tears for fears
emily_strange_13: YOWZA! BANANA HUMP BABY YEAH YEAH!
needsleepnow14: I'm just a big nerd, lol
emily_strange_13: i like nerds hehe
needsleepnow14: ya, I just turned 21
emily_strange_13: kewl whens your birthday
needsleepnow14: august 10th
emily_strange_13: kewl mine was in june
needsleepnow14: happy b-day
emily_strange_13: you two!
emily_strange_13: so what do you do for fun
emily_strange_13: BABY JESUS AND THE ORPHANS!
needsleepnow14: nothin much
emily_strange_13: brb
needsleepnow14: k
emily_strange_13: Kewl, my favorite things to do is play on my school's soccer team, watch movies, fecal sculptures, hang out with frinds, and also I like to play nintendo.
needsleepnow14: I have 12 game consoles in my bedroom
emily_strange_13: whoa
emily_strange_13: you are so kewl
emily_strange_13: FAGGOT IN A SWEATER!
emily_strange_13: I only have nintendo 64
needsleepnow14: ps2, ps1, game cube, x-box, dreamcast
needsleepnow14: I can go on and on
emily_strange_13: wow you are like a hardcore gamer
emily_strange_13: gee youre swell
needsleepnow14: kinda
emily_strange_13: so, do you like anal?
needsleepnow14: wha
needsleepnow14: you're 14, lol
needsleepnow14: why do you wanna know that?
needsleepnow14: lol
emily_strange_13: your butt looks really hot
emily_strange_13: i'd like to rub it with oil and then jam my cock in your tight hole baby
emily_strange_13: hows that sound
needsleepnow14: uhhhhh, first, you're 14 and second, you're a chick
needsleepnow14: NOT A GUY, LOL
emily_strange_13: I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THAT
emily_strange_13: that was my gay older brother
emily_strange_13: i went to the bathroom and he got on the computer
emily_strange_13: sorry
emily_strange_13: so what is your name?
needsleepnow14: Tim
emily_strange_13: nice to meet you Tim, I am Frebecca
needsleepnow14: hi
emily_strange_13: so what is up
needsleepnow14: bored
needsleepnow14: surfing internet
emily_strange_13: neat
needsleepnow14: it's ok
emily_strange_13: WHOS YOUR DADDY!!!
emily_strange_13: sorry, darn interjectitis
emily_strange_13: whats your favorite movie
needsleepnow14: Gladiator
emily_strange_13: I like the movie Depends
needsleepnow14: cool
emily_strange_13: do you like it
emily_strange_13: I love the part where the elderly man finds out that all his adult diapers have been stolen and is forced to urinate on himself daily
emily_strange_13: the look on his face kills me every time
needsleepnow14: lol
emily_strange_13: do you play any sports?
needsleepnow14: backyard football
emily_strange_13: football is cool
emily_strange_13: DIRTY SKANK!
emily_strange_13: sometimes i lplay with my brothers and their friends
emily_strange_13: but my brother always tackles me and tries to stick his fingers up my butt
emily_strange_13: i dont like it
needsleepnow14: that's weird and gross
emily_strange_13: yeah
emily_strange_13: he is mean to me
needsleepnow14: should tell your mom bout that
emily_strange_13: sorry about him earlier
emily_strange_13: I did
emily_strange_13: my mom likes it though when he does it to her
emily_strange_13: so she doesnt believe me
needsleepnow14: that's wierd
emily_strange_13: yah she is into some odd stuff. she always has weird friends over at our house
needsleepnow14: hmmmm
needsleepnow14: I don't know what to say
emily_strange_13: Oh, its ok
emily_strange_13: some of them give me free hand lotion, and all i had to do was suck it out of a tube! they are really nice.
needsleepnow14: blindfolded?
emily_strange_13: they just told me i had to close my eyes or it wouldnt work
needsleepnow14: *groan* ok
emily_strange_13: ? what is wrong
needsleepnow14: nothing, lol
emily_strange_13: then why do you groan, tim?
needsleepnow14: I dunno
emily_strange_13: COWABUNGA!
emily_strange_13: so do you go to school or anything
needsleepnow14: I go to school and work
emily_strange_13: kewl where do you work
needsleepnow14: at a navy base
emily_strange_13: awesome
emily_strange_13: my mom always talks about how much she loves seamen
needsleepnow14: really
emily_strange_13: yah she really likes them I guess.
needsleepnow14: ya
emily_strange_13: she always says she wants them all over her face. I dont know really what that means though
emily_strange_13: so what are you going to school to be?
needsleepnow14: computer programmer
emily_strange_13: kewl i think i want to be a doctor
emily_strange_13: brb
needsleepnow14: uh, ok
emily_strange_13: sorry about that, my mom yelled for me
needsleepnow14: for what?
emily_strange_13: she wanted me to answer the door
emily_strange_13: i didnt hear anyone knockm
needsleepnow14: who is there?
emily_strange_13: I dunno, some guy who says he is here to fix my moms sink in her bathroom
emily_strange_13: it seems awfully late for that but i dunno
emily_strange_13: COCK SUCKER!
needsleepnow14: bad question, have you ever had sex?
emily_strange_13: Not yet, have you
needsleepnow14: ya
emily_strange_13: neat
emily_strange_13: my frind told me it was prety cool
needsleepnow14: how old is your friend
emily_strange_13: she just turned 15
needsleepnow14: little young
emily_strange_13: i gues so
needsleepnow14: oh well
needsleepnow14: lol
emily_strange_13: why did you want to kno?
needsleepnow14: your house sounds weird and I just thought that I'd ask
emily_strange_13: Oh
needsleepnow14: lol
needsleepnow14: not to sound mean
emily_strange_13: i wouldnt think you are mean
emily_strange_13: i like you
needsleepnow14: ya, I'm a nice guy
needsleepnow14: I hope that's what you mean, lol
emily_strange_13: SCHLEROSIS! PUT IN MAH BUTT CHARLES!
emily_strange_13: yah you are very kewl
needsleepnow14: sounded like you were coming on to me for a sec, lol
emily_strange_13: I'll come on you baby
emily_strange_13: all over your pretty little face and mouth
emily_strange_13: then i'll slap you with my man meat, baby
needsleepnow14: your brother again *sigh*
emily_strange_13: no this is not my brother
emily_strange_13: this is me
emily_strange_13: and i want to lick your anus
emily_strange_13: this has been a guy all along
emily_strange_13: pretending to be a girl
emily_strange_13: ahahaha you lose
needsleepnow14: figured as much
needsleepnow14: oh well
emily_strange_13: I masturbate to your pictures
needsleepnow14: what pics, lol
needsleepnow14: YOU HAVE NONE
emily_strange_13: all the ones you have on the internet
emily_strange_13: and the ones i took of you in your bathtub
needsleepnow14: Funny
emily_strange_13: you stuck your penis in the drain
emily_strange_13: you like to have sex with your blow up doll in their too
needsleepnow14: goodbye
emily_strange_13: how about a threesome
emily_strange_13: me you and that doll
emily_strange_13: baby dont go
emily_strange_13: I need you now more than ever
needsleepnow14: I"M NOT GAY
emily_strange_13: Im not gay either
needsleepnow14: I DON"T LIKE MEN
emily_strange_13: I just like guys
emily_strange_13: cant you make an exception
needsleepnow14: I DON"T LIKE GUYS
emily_strange_13: Im not a guy
emily_strange_13: Im like a girl with a penis
needsleepnow14: your a guy
emily_strange_13: i'll dress up in high heels and a dress for you
needsleepnow14: goodbye
emily_strange_13: where are you going
emily_strange_13: dont you want me to finger your butt?
emily_strange_13: Come on, Timmy, lets get it on
needsleepnow14: uh, no, go away
emily_strange_13: not until you sleep with me
needsleepnow14: You really want me to hit the ignore button, huh?
emily_strange_13: come on, ride me like a cowboy baby
emily_strange_13: no
emily_strange_13: please dont ignore me
emily_strange_13: i want you
needsleepnow14: goodbye
emily_strange_13: lets be lovers
emily_strange_13: no wait
emily_strange_13: please
emily_strange_13: lets just start as friends then
emily_strange_13: I think we could really have sex
emily_strange_13: i mean fun
emily_strange_13: as friends
emily_strange_13: maybe go to movies n stuff
needsleepnow14: NOT WITH GUYS
emily_strange_13: we could play football
emily_strange_13: you like football
emily_strange_13: right??
needsleepnow14: look, I am not interrested in a relationship
needsleepnow14: ok
emily_strange_13: so you are just turning me down like that
emily_strange_13: we have been talking for hours, baring our souls to one another and you are just dumping me on the side of the road like a used cumrag past its prime?
emily_strange_13: you have a cold, cold heart tim
emily_strange_13: I thought we had something
emily_strange_13: i thought i was special to you
emily_strange_13: i love you
emily_strange_13: doesnt that mean anything to you??
emily_strange_13: Please Tim. What do you want from me? Do you want marriage first? I'll do it.
emily_strange_13: Timothybear?
emily_strange_13: Tim Timmy tim
emily_strange_13: boyfriend?
Cybaring is fun.
emedli: like to cyber?
emedli: ???
sweetbritney08: i duno i havent tride
emedli: oohhh
emedli: we can have nice time
sweetbritney08: realy
emedli: yes
emedli: im hard baby
sweetbritney08: what do you mean hard
emedli: my dick is hard
emedli: like?
sweetbritney08: you have erection?
emedli: mmmmmmm
emedli: like to suck me?
sweetbritney08: mmmm yah baby i want to suck your cock meat like a hoover vacuum on a green shag carpet covered in crumbs
emedli: ?
sweetbritney08: i am getting extremely sexually exited!11111
emedli: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
emedli: baby
emedli: get on knees
sweetbritney08: my virginia is dripping with a lubrication like fish flavored aunt jemima syrup
sweetbritney08: i am on knees
emedli: ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm
sweetbritney08: i would like to lick your penis
emedli: ooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
emedli: suck me now
sweetbritney08: i will make it explode with a fit of white semen fury!!!
emedli: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
emedli: ooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
sweetbritney08: i carress your penis
emedli: yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssss
emedli: like see it?
sweetbritney08: i love your vienna sausage you sex beast
emedli: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
emedli: let me fuck ur mouth
emedli: hold ur head and fuck ur mouth
emedli: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
emedli: oooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
sweetbritney08: your penis slides in and out of my moth and my teeth slice it to sexy weinie shreds
sweetbritney08: you are so hot
emedli: yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh
sweetbritney08: you make my nipples hard like two poky little communists
emedli: get on doggiestyle baby
sweetbritney08: i get on doggie style and spread mayonnaise on your buttocks
sweetbritney08: ohhhhhhhh yeaahhhhhhhhhhh you are sooo good at cybaring
emedli: ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
emedli: babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
sweetbritney08: i slap your face with roast beef
sweetbritney08: mmmmm oh yeahhh
emedli: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
sweetbritney08: i fart in your eye ohhhh baby yessssssssss thats it
sweetbritney08: mmmmm this is soo hot
emedli: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
emedli: yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssss
emedli: like fuck in ass???
sweetbritney08: mmmm y ah baby put your vienna sausage in my pooper
emedli: ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
sweetbritney08: i get mounds o' turds all over your balls mmmm baby oh yes oh yes oh yes
emedli: fuck ur ass as hard as u scream
sweetbritney08: "BABY JESUS AND THE ORPHANS!"
sweetbritney08: uhh yeahhh your penis is so little and hot
sweetbritney08: i attach lobsters to your groin
sweetbritney08: oh baby yessss
sweetbritney08: i am coming soon
emedli: fuck u fuck u fuck u fuck u mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
sweetbritney08: I jump on the couch and my breasts hit you in the face, giving you a black eye! ohhh baby mmmmmmmm
emedli: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
emedli: ride u mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
emedli: fuck u baby mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
emedli: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
sweetbritney08: ride me baby stick that cocktail weiner in my armpit mmmm
emedli: oooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
emedli: just open ur mouth now
sweetbritney08: i open my mouth
sweetbritney08: now what
emedli: ready to swallow?
sweetbritney08: no.
emedli: pull ur hair
emedli: come on babyy
emedli: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
sweetbritney08: i thwack you in the midsection with a large trout
sweetbritney08: mmm yeah
emedli: im cuming soon
sweetbritney08: cum in my nostrils you beast
emedli: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
emedli: on face too???
emedli: babyyyyyyyyyy
sweetbritney08: no directly into my nostrils
emedli: ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
emedli: ready?
sweetbritney08: i defecate on your face, getting corn and other debris stuck in your teeth mmmmmmmm y eahhhh
sweetbritney08: ohhhhh
emedli: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
emedli: hold my dick
sweetbritney08: I cut your penis with safety scissors
emedli: put it in ur nostrills
sweetbritney08: puts severed penis in nostrils
emedli: oooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
sweetbritney08: yah, you just bled to death
emedli: cum in uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
emedli: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
emedli: u liked??
sweetbritney08: I sure did.
emedli: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
emedli: thx baby
sweetbritney08: Np.
emedli: bye
crACHILclEan #2 : He just doesnt get it. After the first conversation, I thought he would have gotten weirded out. But no, he came back for more. If you havent read crACHILclEan session #1, read it first.
crACHILclEan: hello
sexibabybee4u: hey sexy
crACHILclEan: what did u do today?
sexibabybee4u: I got my colon cleaned
crACHILclEan: oh really
sexibabybee4u: yes
crACHILclEan: did u enjoy it
sexibabybee4u: yes
crACHILclEan: what else did u do?
sexibabybee4u: i waxed my buttcrack
crACHILclEan: did u get lots of hair off of it?
sexibabybee4u: yeah, im jewish so im pretty hairy
crACHILclEan: h
sexibabybee4u: ?
crACHILclEan: u dont look jewish
crACHILclEan: or hairy in the picture
sexibabybee4u: I am only 3/4 jewish
crACHILclEan: oh, what size boobs do u have?
sexibabybee4u: 36d
crACHILclEan: how come in the picture they arent that big
sexibabybee4u: probably just the glare
crACHILclEan: they look like size A in the picture
crACHILclEan: do u have any other pictures?
sexibabybee4u: No, they are D.
crACHILclEan: do u have any other pictures
sexibabybee4u: No, thats the only one, my friend took it with her digital camera for me.
crACHILclEan: oh
crACHILclEan: which friend took a pic for you?
sexibabybee4u: Frebecca
crACHILclEan: where is she now
sexibabybee4u: i dont know
sexibabybee4u: i could call her and see
sexibabybee4u: if you want
crACHILclEan: yes
crACHILclEan: call her
sexibabybee4u: okay
sexibabybee4u: just a second
sexibabybee4u: her room mate says she is being showered and then she is going to bed
sexibabybee4u: why
crACHILclEan: i wanted to see more pictures of you
crACHILclEan: can u take some for me tomorrow
sexibabybee4u: why do you want to see more pictures? you like me?
crACHILclEan: yes
sexibabybee4u: why
sexibabybee4u: brb, i need to go douche.[i really went to the grocery store. haha.]
crACHILclEan: how do u douche?
sexibabybee4u: i am back
crACHILclEan: yeye
sexibabybee4u: ?
crACHILclEan: yey!
crACHILclEan: i am that you are back
crACHILclEan: i want to know more about your interesting life
sexibabybee4u: well, i am Arabic
crACHILclEan: oh ya.......
sexibabybee4u: when i had legs i loved to play hopscotch
crACHILclEan: how is that?
sexibabybee4u: i am an alcoholic
sexibabybee4u: i love math
crACHILclEan: where do u get money?
sexibabybee4u: I have a job, silly
sexibabybee4u: I work at hooters
crACHILclEan: in a wheelchair....
sexibabybee4u: they cant discriminate against me
sexibabybee4u: and with knockers like mine they couldnt turn me down anyways!
crACHILclEan: hmm
crACHILclEan: so what do you do with all your money
crACHILclEan: how do u push your wheelchair and take food to the table at teh same time?
sexibabybee4u: i have an electric wheelchair silly
crACHILclEan: ok, so u only carry food with one hand?
sexibabybee4u: what do you mean what do i do with all my money? i do what everyone else does, silly! i spend it on clothes, dildos, cds, booze, stuff like that
sexibabybee4u: yes
crACHILclEan: fun
crACHILclEan: how did u become parapalegic?
sexibabybee4u: i told you!
crACHILclEan: i forgot
sexibabybee4u: i was in a very traumatic accident involving mayonnaise, a lazyboy and a swimming pool
crACHILclEan: explain
[by this point, i just want this to be over. i had to step it up a notch.]
sexibabybee4u: well, me and my friends made a neat slide on the deck with the lazyboy and coated it with mayonnaise for lubrication and we were having a great time
sexibabybee4u: but then a horse jumped into the pool and i landed on its back and it galloped out of the pool and i was so slippery with mayonnaise it bucked me off and i landed on my head and my neck was injured
crACHILclEan: hmm
sexibabybee4u: i am crying
crACHILclEan: u didnt say anything about the hore yesterday
sexibabybee4u: this is so painful to remember all of thise
sexibabybee4u: i need someone to hold me right now
crACHILclEan: are your roommates or any nurse's there?
sexibabybee4u: No, my room mate is spending the night in another girls room tonight
crACHILclEan: why?
sexibabybee4u: and the nurses are only here if we call them or when its bathing time or when its time for our hot oil enemas
sexibabybee4u: its her girlfriends room, she's a lesbian
crACHILclEan: hmm
crACHILclEan: hmm
sexibabybee4u: yes
crACHILclEan: have u ever had sex with the other girls
sexibabybee4u: Yes
sexibabybee4u: only my sister though
crACHILclEan: where is your sister?
sexibabybee4u: she died
crACHILclEan: how?
sexibabybee4u: She was riding a public bus in downtown mexico city, and of course there are no seatbelts, and it got into a headon collision and everyone was thrown around in the bus and she landed with her face in a large mans armpit and she suffocated.
crACHILclEan: right...
sexibabybee4u: SHe died.
crACHILclEan: hm..
crACHILclEan: do u take any medicine?
sexibabybee4u: i have a drug problem
crACHILclEan: what drugs
sexibabybee4u: im addicted to rolaids
crACHILclEan: oh, those taste good
sexibabybee4u: exactly
sexibabybee4u: i cant stop
crACHILclEan: cool
sexibabybee4u: it gets expensive
crACHILclEan: how much do you weigh?
sexibabybee4u: 320
crACHILclEan: right
sexibabybee4u: i gained weight since the picture
crACHILclEan: when did u take the picture?
sexibabybee4u: 1993
crACHILclEan: so u were 8 in that picture?
sexibabybee4u: no
crACHILclEan: ?
crACHILclEan: how old were you/
sexibabybee4u: im only 12 right now silly
crACHILclEan: so in your pic u were 2?
sexibabybee4u: im not sure
sexibabybee4u: im no good at math hehe
crACHILclEan: i can tell
sexibabybee4u: hey thats not nice
crACHILclEan: well your saying a pic u were skinny in was ten years ag, but u look 18
crACHILclEan: and now u r 18
sexibabybee4u: no
sexibabybee4u: i am 12
sexibabybee4u: i only put 18 on my profile so hot older guys like you will talk to me
crACHILclEan: lier lier
sexibabybee4u: ?
crACHILclEan: how old are you?
sexibabybee4u: 12
crACHILclEan: and u are 320 pounds?
sexibabybee4u: yes
sexibabybee4u: i dotn get much exercise in a wheelchair dummy
crACHILclEan: did u know that u are the fattest 12 year old on the planet.......
crACHILclEan: your slowly slipping
sexibabybee4u:
crACHILclEan: why the sad face?
crACHILclEan: u know it is all a joke
sexibabybee4u:
crACHILclEan: ?
crACHILclEan: why the sad face?
i got bored.
streak4life: hey
emily_strange_13: hi
streak4life: u have a cam
emily_strange_13: yes
emily_strange_13: do you
streak4life: its down now
streak4life: can i see yours
emily_strange_13: mine is down too.
streak4life: bull
emily_strange_13: i accidentally dropped it in the toilet while doing my live cam feed for my pee fetish site
emily_strange_13: im waiting for it to dry out
emily_strange_13: hello?
crACHILclEan #1: Man, i thought this guy would have caught on or something....
crACHILclEan: heylo
sexibabybee4u: hi
crACHILclEan: i am fswgideon on FTJ, sorry the pic sux, i will have a new one soon
crACHILclEan: i saw u on there, that is how i got your SN
sexibabybee4u: neat
crACHILclEan: hell yeah, i use that word too
sexibabybee4u: wow
crACHILclEan:
crACHILclEan: so why did your BF break-up with you?
sexibabybee4u: because he isnt into all the sexual things i am, and i guess it made him too uncomfortable.
crACHILclEan: that's unusual
crACHILclEan: were u a freak in bed?
sexibabybee4u: Im not a freak! you are so hurtful *cries*
crACHILclEan: im sorry
crACHILclEan: i meant in bed
crACHILclEan: like very kinky..
sexibabybee4u: i guess so
sexibabybee4u: i just have certain things i like
crACHILclEan: oh, and he was to soft
sexibabybee4u: i guess
sexibabybee4u: he said i scared him too much
crACHILclEan: what, psh
crACHILclEan: what a dumbass
crACHILclEan: why the sad face?
sexibabybee4u: Do you think only being able to orgasm in a bed with cabbage in it is odd?
crACHILclEan: yes
sexibabybee4u:
crACHILclEan: but i would accept it
crACHILclEan: where would the cabbage be?
sexibabybee4u: well, i cant get off unless there are leaves of cabbage strewn about the bed...sometimes lettuce is okay, but cabbage is better
sexibabybee4u: and also there has to be 4 crows nailed to the headboard
crACHILclEan: what are the reasons behind the scarecrows?
sexibabybee4u: no, not scarecrows
sexibabybee4u: crows, like the birds
sexibabybee4u: black birds
sexibabybee4u: whoever im going to have sex with has to go hunting first and kill 4 crows
sexibabybee4u: and then nail them to the headboard
crACHILclEan: are you just messing with me?
sexibabybee4u: no, i seriously cant orgasm without that
crACHILclEan: hmm, so if i hunted four crows for you, and you laid cabbage all over your bed, you would fuck?
sexibabybee4u: oh yes
sexibabybee4u: man, when i get really, really horny i get the urge to do laundry too
sexibabybee4u: he didnt like that
crACHILclEan: what do u do for fun?
sexibabybee4u: Well, I am in a wheelchair, so i mostly watch tv, play board games, puzzles, computers, movies, horseback riding, naps, cats, i breed llamas, knit, or something like that
crACHILclEan: u breed lamas?
sexibabybee4u: yes
sexibabybee4u: hairless llamas
sexibabybee4u: my llamas all wear hoop skirts
crACHILclEan: your funny
sexibabybee4u: what
crACHILclEan: what is your name on Facethejury?
sexibabybee4u: sexibaybee4u
crACHILclEan: who do u live with?
sexibabybee4u: I live in a home for girls
crACHILclEan: hmmm
crACHILclEan: what kind of girls?
sexibabybee4u: disabled
crACHILclEan: oh, where are your parents?
sexibabybee4u: They died
crACHILclEan: how?(if u dont mind me asking)
sexibabybee4u: well
sexibabybee4u: we used to live on a farm
sexibabybee4u: we raised cattle
sexibabybee4u: and once fall came around it was time to harvest some of the cows for hamburger meat
sexibabybee4u: we had a big grinder and dad was preparing the meat to be ground up and he slipped in
sexibabybee4u: but we didnt know
sexibabybee4u: and he was ground up with the rest of the meat
sexibabybee4u: he never came home of course
sexibabybee4u: mom though he ran off with another woman
sexibabybee4u: a friend of ours brought home all of the meat, figured he had just left it
sexibabybee4u: we ate the meat, not knowing it was partially dad
sexibabybee4u: a few weeks later the place where dad grinds the meat was broken into so they had to view the security tapes from the cameras and it showed dad falling in
sexibabybee4u: mom was so upset she committed suicide
sexibabybee4u: Now i just try to live one day at a time...
crACHILclEan: oh
crACHILclEan: were u born disabled?
sexibabybee4u: no
crACHILclEan: how did u become disabled?
sexibabybee4u: at age 10 i was in a terrible accident involving mayonnaise, a lazyboy, and a swimming pool and i broke my neck
sexibabybee4u: and im paralyzed from the waist down
crACHILclEan: and u cheer?
sexibabybee4u: and i what?
sexibabybee4u: oh, yes
crACHILclEan: how?
sexibabybee4u: our school has our own cheerleading team
crACHILclEan: so have you ever had sex?
sexibabybee4u: Yes
crACHILclEan: and the person got u 4 crows?
sexibabybee4u: yes
sexibabybee4u: My boyfriends name was Linda.
sexibabybee4u: He was very nice, but he couldnt deal with the whole hunting thing.
crACHILclEan: how did he get u 4 crows?
sexibabybee4u: i think he was a hippie because he didnt believe in killing animals, and he didnt shower
sexibabybee4u: he shot them with a gun
sexibabybee4u: the boyfriend i had before that would drown them
crACHILclEan: um.....what do u do in your spare time?
sexibabybee4u: take care of my llamas, draw, read, finger my butthole, knit, watch movies/tv, clubbin
sexibabybee4u: what about you
crACHILclEan: finger your butthole?
crACHILclEan: where do u live?
sexibabybee4u: sorry i meant make potholders
sexibabybee4u: california
crACHILclEan: what city?
crACHILclEan: do u have a phone number?
sexibabybee4u: los angeles
sexibabybee4u: yes
sexibabybee4u: i do
crACHILclEan: can i call you
sexibabybee4u: sure
sexibabybee4u: can you give me a minute? my room mate is on the phone.
crACHILclEan: not right now, tomorrow
crACHILclEan: but what is the number?
sexibabybee4u: 1-213-208-4762
[this is so great...i gave him the number of a los angeles black gay mens bath house. http://www.throbla.com/ . i wonder if he'll call. he'll certainly get a surprise.]
crACHILclEan: where do u see yourself in ten years?
sexibabybee4u: Well, probably dead.
crACHILclEan: why?
sexibabybee4u: because i'll probably commit suicide soon
sexibabybee4u: I cant live life here anymore, peter.
crACHILclEan: why?
crACHILclEan: my name is joe
sexibabybee4u: because they treat us really badly.
crACHILclEan: why did u call me peter?
crACHILclEan: why cant u live there?
sexibabybee4u: i thought that was your name
crACHILclEan: nope
sexibabybee4u: Oic
crACHILclEan: why dont u like it there?]
sexibabybee4u: they are terrible to us
sexibabybee4u: they make fun of us
sexibabybee4u: and call us freakin tards and crips and stuff
sexibabybee4u: and they make us eat wallpaper glue
crACHILclEan: who does that to you?
sexibabybee4u: once when i got caught with some candy (that isnt allowed) they stuck a whole acorn squash up my butt
sexibabybee4u: the nurses here
sexibabybee4u: they always throw stuff at us
crACHILclEan: what is this nursing place called
sexibabybee4u: Urinary Oaks Disabled Childrens Home for the Disabled
crACHILclEan: there is no such place
sexibabybee4u: what are you talking about, i would know, i live here
crACHILclEan: it isnt online anywhere
sexibabybee4u: our home could never afford a website!
sexibabybee4u: just as it is, all day they make us do crafts like making quilts, knitting scarfs and making potholders to sell to make some money....but they keep it all for themselves and they use it for all their pornography, instead of using it to buy us good food
sexibabybee4u: girls with legs have to work inthe garden all day long just to feed us!
sexibabybee4u: To make extra money, they have even made us start pooping in assigned barrels that they sell for money as fertilizer!
i decided i had to go to bed. it was fun though.
jorge3800: just saw your profile, you look very sexy
emily_strange_13: ty
jorge3800: you're welcome
jorge3800: do you have any other pics?
emily_strange_13: im a guy
emily_strange_13: is that still okay?
jorge3800: not according to your profile, your not
emily_strange_13: i have a big donkey shlong
jorge3800: no thanks then!!
emily_strange_13: yes, but hidden inside my pants i have a penis!
emily_strange_13: why not
emily_strange_13: i thought i was sexy
emily_strange_13: cant you accept me for me
emily_strange_13: and not just my body
jorge3800: not into guys sorry. The girl in the pic is sexy, you aren't
emily_strange_13: that IS me
emily_strange_13: i just have a penis too
emily_strange_13: youre so shallow!
jorge3800: ok ok whatever you say dude,
jorge3800: see ya!!
emily_strange_13: you are a shallow pig
emily_strange_13: you should like women for their insides
emily_strange_13: not judge them by whether they have a hairy nutsack or not
jorge3800: i do, i don't like guys period, in that way
emily_strange_13: im not a guy
emily_strange_13: im a girl
emily_strange_13: just with male genitalia
jorge3800: you said you were a guy, now your a girl, make up your mind, Cya
emily_strange_13: i am a girl
emily_strange_13: i have huge supple melon breasts and a sexy face and body and a penis and two sweaty balls.
jorge3800: that;s a guy
emily_strange_13: guys dont have nice boobs!
jorge3800: some do, lol
emily_strange_13: oh, so youre a faggot then
emily_strange_13: thats why you dont like me
jorge3800: i like women, 100% women, tits and a pussy, no dicks
emily_strange_13: you like to look at guys boobs=you are a cocksucking faggot
emily_strange_13: geez
emily_strange_13: you are sick
emily_strange_13: so you have a fat fetish too then
emily_strange_13: cuz you have to be a fat guy to have boobs
emily_strange_13: faggot?
emily_strange_13: do you like it in the butt, too?
dude4777: hello
emily_strange_13: hi
dude4777: how are you this afternoon
dude4777: 28 m here se indiana close to cincy
emily_strange_13: Im okay, how are you
dude4777: im doing ok
dude4777: what part of ohio are you from
emily_strange_13: Batavia
dude4777: thats cool
emily_strange_13: yes
dude4777: i travel that area often on buisness
dude4777: are you still in school
emily_strange_13: No, i had to quit school:(:(
emily_strange_13: : (
dude4777: sorry to hear that
emily_strange_13: yes
emily_strange_13: Because of a health problem they wouldnt let me stay.
dude4777: how old are you
emily_strange_13: 18
dude4777: thats must make it tough
dude4777: are you able to get around ok
emily_strange_13: yeah
emily_strange_13: well
emily_strange_13: i try
emily_strange_13: its really hard emotionally especially
emily_strange_13: i have a hard time getting dates
emily_strange_13: it makes my self esteem really low.
dude4777: what the problem if you dont mind me asking
emily_strange_13: But...i just try to make it one day at a time
emily_strange_13: I dont know if you want to hear about it.
dude4777: i can respect that
emily_strange_13: you dont care, youre just another passing stranger
emily_strange_13: nobody really cares about me
dude4777: what do you enjoy doing
emily_strange_13: well, i like to swim, but alot of pools wont let me in because of my problem
emily_strange_13: and i like to horseback ride
emily_strange_13: but it usually aggravates my problem too
emily_strange_13: and i like sex a lot
emily_strange_13: but no men like me.
dude4777: sorry to hear that
dude4777: i like some sports, outdoors movies, dining out and alot of sex to
emily_strange_13: really? we sound like we'd get along really well!
emily_strange_13: i like outdoors movies too!
dude4777: do you get alot of support from your family
emily_strange_13: I dont have a family
emily_strange_13: they died in a car accident 3 years ago
dude4777: sorry to hear that
emily_strange_13: it was very bloody
emily_strange_13: they were torn to shreds.
dude4777: im sure thats been hard on you and effected pretty much everything in your life
emily_strange_13: Yes, It has been so hard
emily_strange_13: and now that i have this problem i am all alone
emily_strange_13: and have no one to talk to about it with
dude4777: my ears are open if you need to talk, im not judgemental and i dont put people down
emily_strange_13: are you sure?
emily_strange_13: you will still like me if i tell you about it?
dude4777: ive been respectful so far havent i
emily_strange_13: yes
dude4777: i wont change but the decesion is up to you wheather you want to talk about it
emily_strange_13: okay. thank you so much, Lloyd.
dude4777: lloyd?
dude4777: it was nice talking to you i guess i will let you go
emily_strange_13: my problem is uncontrollable diarrhea. You have heard of projectile vomit? well this is like projectile diarrhea. My sphincter muscles cant even handle it, it just shoots right out. thats why i cant go in the pool, because before very long, the whole thing is tinted brown and is full of chunks, and i guess thats a health hazard or something, and i cant horseback ride because the owner said something like "i cant have you crapping all over my horses" and i guess it took him 2 and a half hours to scrub that stuff out of the horses fur and i am not allowed back there. No men will have sex with me because i just end up pooping on them. this problem is ruining my life!
emily_strange_13: sorry, i thought you said your name was lloyd
dude4777: nope brandon
emily_strange_13: oh, thank you brandon
emily_strange_13: So yeah, anyways, i dont know what to do
dude4777: that would be difficult
dude4777: any surgery or medication the doctors have said
emily_strange_13: there is about a half inch layer of poop covering the entire floor of my bathroom because i rarely make it, and all of my furniture is stained
emily_strange_13: well
emily_strange_13: the doctor prescribed me some medicine once
emily_strange_13: but when i took it it made me so constipated i was pooping turds the size of a coke can and it was like giving birth and i couldnt get them out and i developed hemorrhoids, and so i had to stop the medicine
emily_strange_13: and there is no surgery, my intestines dont absorb the water right
dude4777: that would be hard to have a social life and go out
emily_strange_13: it really is!
emily_strange_13: i have one friend
emily_strange_13: but he has this odd poop fetish and tries to have me aim it in his mouth and that weirds me out!
emily_strange_13: he sniffs me a lot
dude4777: he has a unusual fetish for sure
emily_strange_13: but i cant wear dresses when we go to clubs because the poop will run down my legs and everyone laughs at me
emily_strange_13: its so humiliating
dude4777: does any particur type of diet help at all
dude4777: types of food
emily_strange_13: no, the problem is just that my intestines dont absorb the water in my system correctly, so it passes right through
dude4777: ok you said that earlier but it didnt register
emily_strange_13: Ive even tried corks, brandon.
emily_strange_13: the cork shot right out of my butthole and hit my friend in the eye!
emily_strange_13: im doomed a life of embarrassment and loneliness forever!
emily_strange_13: why cant a man love me for me?
dude4777: i cant answere that
emily_strange_13: youre a man
dude4777: yep
emily_strange_13: will you date me
dude4777: i would
emily_strange_13: really?
emily_strange_13: we dont live that far apart
emily_strange_13: maybe you could develop a poop fetish too
emily_strange_13: then we could have sex!
dude4777: i do date someone occasionally around here
emily_strange_13: see, we are meant to be
emily_strange_13: OH CRAP
emily_strange_13: HOLD ON
dude4777: i take it you like sex alot
emily_strange_13: OH MAN JUST A SECOND
dude4777: ok
dude4777: ill be here take care of what you need to
emily_strange_13: im so sorry
dude4777: dont be
emily_strange_13: my cat was behind me and i didnt know it and i just blasted him in the face with a huge squishy turd
emily_strange_13: but yeah, i LOVE sex
emily_strange_13: im into all kinds of stuff....especially roleplaying
dude4777: thats cool
dude4777: do you like to swallow cum
emily_strange_13: yes
dude4777: do you like to have oral done on you
emily_strange_13: if you dont mind getting shot in the face with hot steamy girl crap
emily_strange_13: i want to roleplay that im a miner and im working sooo hard underground and youre my overseeing mining boss guy and im not working fast enough
emily_strange_13: so then you come over to me
emily_strange_13: and im all dirty with coal dust and sweaty and smelly and disgusting and have 5 o'clock shadow
emily_strange_13: and you spank my dirty little coal covered bottom and tell me to work harder
emily_strange_13: thats so hot
dude4777: you sound like you would be a lot of fun to be around
emily_strange_13: as long as you dont mind the smell of my diarrhea
emily_strange_13: i bet you like that dont you
dude4777: would you let me cum inside you with out a condom on
emily_strange_13: wait, what is a condom?
dude4777: i dont know never used one just thought id ask
dude4777: lol
emily_strange_13: youre talking about one of those things you can stay in like a hotel room in florida ? a condom?
dude4777: a rubber
emily_strange_13: i dont understand. ive never had sex before!
dude4777: ok
dude4777: i though you like sex
emily_strange_13: of course!
dude4777: ok
dude4777: but never had sex before is that correct
emily_strange_13: yes!
dude4777: i see
emily_strange_13: one time i was going to have sex with a guy
emily_strange_13: it was my grandpa
emily_strange_13: and he put his penis in me
emily_strange_13: and then i had diarrhea
emily_strange_13: and i had eaten hot mexican food
emily_strange_13: and i guess that made my diarrhea all spicy and it made his balls burn and he got mad
emily_strange_13: so ive never really had sex before
dude4777: that would be very unusuall
emily_strange_13: yeah
dude4777: especially with a relative
emily_strange_13: yeah
emily_strange_13: it was very romantic though
dude4777: i can imagine
emily_strange_13: me and my grandparents experiment alot
emily_strange_13: since they have poor bowel and urinary control they can tolerate my diarrhea! : )
dude4777: i see do you live with your grandparents
emily_strange_13: sometimes we have threesomes and thats pretty hot
emily_strange_13: yeah
emily_strange_13: since my parents died
emily_strange_13: i dont have anywhere else to go
dude4777: that is some experience i have never herd before form a 18 yr old girl
emily_strange_13: really?
emily_strange_13: you should try it with your grandparents
dude4777: i think i will pass
emily_strange_13: you've never felt oral sex til youve felt it from a person without teeth
emily_strange_13: my grandma is an expert
dude4777: not quite into that sorry
emily_strange_13: ive even kinda developed a pee fetish from her
emily_strange_13: do you think if we started dating you could pee in my mouth?
emily_strange_13: and then all over my hot body
dude4777: i dont know, you seem to have so many fetish ideas you might scare me off lol
emily_strange_13: dont be silly, im just a normal 18 year old girl
dude4777: that likes to roleplay some
dude4777: alot
emily_strange_13: my favorite roleplaying is me as a zoo animal and you as my zoo keeper
dude4777: to much i dont know what is real lol
emily_strange_13: and then you bring me my food
emily_strange_13: and then you screw me like the wild animal i am!!!
emily_strange_13: oh baby im getting hot over here
dude4777: im seeing that your wild
emily_strange_13: i will be a california condor and youre my zookeeper birdperson and you'll bring me my food and then stick it to me!
emily_strange_13: coo coo kwarrrrr! coo coo kwarrrrr! im your lil love condor!
dude4777: you would be pushing my limits for sure
emily_strange_13: ooh baby you and me need to get together soon
emily_strange_13: you make me so horny
emily_strange_13: i want to poop in your mouth.
emily_strange_13: and in your eyes
emily_strange_13: would you be comfortable licking my butthole?
dude4777: yes
emily_strange_13: even with all the corn and other poop debris?
dude4777: yep
emily_strange_13: great
after this point i got bored and blocked him.
too bad i missed this guy, i was sleeping.
bakes314159: Emily, I'm naked as a jaybird & waiting for you on web cam. Will you respond in kind?
yet another man who would like to sex me up.
ljoep2000: you like older men
emily_strange_13: why?
ljoep2000: i am white and i like the sound of you
ljoep2000: you like to play around
ljoep2000: you looking for some fun
ljoep2000:
ljoep2000: you there
emily_strange_13: sure
emily_strange_13: i love fun!
ljoep2000: where do you live
ljoep2000: what would you like
ljoep2000: and what do you like
ljoep2000: well
ljoep2000: i like to give oral
ljoep2000: and lick all over
ljoep2000:
emily_strange_13: really?
emily_strange_13: that sounds neat
ljoep2000: you like to cum
ljoep2000: you can sit on my face
emily_strange_13: wont that hurt you?
ljoep2000: no you can go for a ride
ljoep2000: mmmm
ljoep2000: can i lick you ass
emily_strange_13: but i weigh 300 pounds and have diarrhea and a chronic loose sphincter muscles.
emily_strange_13: is that still okay?
ljoep2000: really
emily_strange_13: yeah, im a lil tub of crisco!
ljoep2000: so you stink
ljoep2000: your pussy
emily_strange_13: no! it just smells lightly of sardines and dead fish.
ljoep2000: that nasty
emily_strange_13: no
emily_strange_13: it is cool
ljoep2000: bye
emily_strange_13: where are you going?
emily_strange_13: i still want that ride please
ljoep2000: u smell
emily_strange_13: i smell good baby
emily_strange_13: hello? i want some of that fun now please
This guy had messaged me several days in a row before I finally decided to respond to him. He's one of them queer homo people.
MarineMessiah: hi
me: who the crap are you
MarineMessiah: lol damn
me: what
MarineMessiah: its usually whos this...
MarineMessiah: but your like who the crap are you
me: whos this
MarineMessiah: this is who
me: wow youre really ugly
me: how did you get to be so hideous?
me: that is amazing
MarineMessiah: yeah whatever
MarineMessiah: later
me: youre so ugly you make me want to scoop my eyes out with spoons
me: AND youre black.
me: yuck i hate you
MarineMessiah: I SAID BYE
me: no, actually you didnt
me: you said later
me: and now is later
MarineMessiah: SAME THING ASS
me: no, it isnt
MarineMessiah: WHATEVER
me: later is a 4 letter word that implies a time in the future
me: bye means not later.
me: you lose!
MarineMessiah: BYE
me: why are you leaving?
MarineMessiah: because of your ignorance
me: i am not ignorant
me: i am wonderufl
MarineMessiah: whatever i gotta go i got work tomorrow
me: soooo stay and talk to me!im cute!
MarineMessiah: i cant...im ugly
me: so
me: i will try to keep my dinner down
MarineMessiah: bye
me: wait i need you
me: whats your name?
me: stupid?
me: i mean, hi, im kelley, whats your name?
MarineMessiah: y?
me: because i want to get to know you
me: you look super dumb
me: i mean super kewl
MarineMessiah: yeah whatever i gotta get my fuckin uniform ready
MarineMessiah: bye
me: uniform?
me: where do you work?
MarineMessiah: the goverment
me: you work at the government
me: ?
MarineMessiah: for the goverment ass
MarineMessiah: the military
me: you are a soldier?
MarineMessiah: FUCK NO
me: ever killed anyone?
MarineMessiah: WHAT DO U THINK
me: are you a drill sargeant?
MarineMessiah: IM NOT IN THE NASTY ASS ARMY
me: wait a polyp pickin minute.....are you one of them queer homo navy boys?
me: you like it up the butt???
MarineMessiah: NO
me: you like hot cock in you mouth?
MarineMessiah: NO BUT U DO
me: im supposed to, im a girl you faggot
me: when you masturbate do you think of navy boys only or also army and airforce hotties?
me: do you like firefighters as well?
me: what about policemen....all in uniform of course
MarineMessiah: I DONT LIKE GUYS
me: denial is the first step. now, lets acknowlege that you are a gay government employee.
me: repeat after me " I AM GAY AND I AM PROUD!"
me: say it loud and strong! "I AM GAY AND I AM PROUD!"
This was an interesting fellow. First I tried to weird him out with a severe diarrhea problem, but when that didnt work, I got all "horny" and decided to play that card instead.
boom_stick9: hi
emily_strange_13: hi
boom_stick9: how are you tonight?
emily_strange_13: im crappy
boom_stick9: i'm sorry to hear that
emily_strange_13: me too
boom_stick9: can i ask what happen?
emily_strange_13: promise you'll still love me?
boom_stick9: of course my daer
emily_strange_13: well, i hope you can understand..
emily_strange_13: i have a terrible, terrible, problem
boom_stick9: ok
emily_strange_13: i dont know if i can tell you
boom_stick9: if you don't want to that fine
emily_strange_13: well, it would be really good to talk to someone about it, you know, to get it out.
boom_stick9: yeah, thats true
emily_strange_13: will you listen to me and understand and try to help me
boom_stick9: of course
emily_strange_13: *hug* this means so much to me
boom_stick9: no problem
emily_strange_13: well...ever since i was 5...
emily_strange_13: ive had a terrible diarrhea problem.
emily_strange_13: ive tried everything
emily_strange_13: but nothng workks
boom_stick9: have you seen a dr.?
emily_strange_13: yes
emily_strange_13: he gave me pills but feces still leak out of my anal orifice like a drippy faucet
boom_stick9: geez.
emily_strange_13: imm so sad
emily_strange_13: yeah....i dont know what to do, iim thinking of suicide
boom_stick9: you can't be serious.
emily_strange_13: i am
emily_strange_13: and no one wll listen
boom_stick9: come on, its not worth that
emily_strange_13: then what should i do
boom_stick9: im not sure
emily_strange_13: imm so upset
emily_strange_13: im tired of staining my pants and the curtains! im mtired of messing up the furniture! i recently injured my dog! this problem is ruining my life!
boom_stick9: i see
emily_strange_13: help me
boom_stick9: how?
emily_strange_13: i dunno.....lend me a cork, anything!!!! im desperate!
boom_stick9: you seem to have a descent sence of humor about it
emily_strange_13: this isnt funny
boom_stick9: i was just sayin'
boom_stick9: im sorry
emily_strange_13: youre so hurtful
emily_strange_13: i hate myself becausee of this
boom_stick9: i didn't mean anything
emily_strange_13: then will you date me?
boom_stick9: i just met you
emily_strange_13: so
emily_strange_13: its love at first type
boom_stick9: lol
boom_stick9: you don't love me
emily_strange_13: i do
emily_strange_13: i want to make all your babies
boom_stick9: you would need some help
emily_strange_13: what do you mean?
emily_strange_13: my penis works just fine
boom_stick9: where are you gonna put it?
emily_strange_13: where do you want it, baby?
boom_stick9: not a big penis fan, thanks
emily_strange_13: what about vaginas? i have one of those too!
boom_stick9: woah, you have that too?
emily_strange_13: yes
boom_stick9: does it have teeth?
boom_stick9: those scare me
emily_strange_13: teeth? no, just a brown tint to it from my bottom
emily_strange_13: why
boom_stick9: just askin
emily_strange_13: i love caesar salad
emily_strange_13: hello?
boom_stick9: yeah
emily_strange_13: talk to me baby
emily_strange_13: talk dirty to me
boom_stick9: what about?
emily_strange_13: dirty things
emily_strange_13: wanna cyber?
boom_stick9: why do you want to?
emily_strange_13: i like you
emily_strange_13: i think youre hot
boom_stick9: thanks
emily_strange_13: so lets go
boom_stick9: what do you want to do?
emily_strange_13: i want to cyber with you
emily_strange_13: lets make the cyber sex
boom_stick9: what are you going to do during?
emily_strange_13: masterbait
boom_stick9: with....?
emily_strange_13: a sleeping bag
boom_stick9: lol, i see
emily_strange_13: whats so funny?
boom_stick9: a sleeping bag
emily_strange_13: whats so funny about that
boom_stick9: are you going to use it, seriously?
emily_strange_13: yes
emily_strange_13: i have a sleeping bag fetish
boom_stick9: how do you want me to start?
emily_strange_13: in a sexy sexy way
boom_stick9: i love your lips. i want to lick them slowly with the tip of my tongue
emily_strange_13: oooh baby that gets me going
boom_stick9: you taste so good
emily_strange_13: thanks i just ate sauerkraut, im polish!
emily_strange_13: *licks your neck*
emily_strange_13: *sucks gently on your earlobe*
boom_stick9: ooh. (pulls you hair back to bite your neck)
emily_strange_13: sorry about the drool my retainer gets in the way sometimes
emily_strange_13: *sucks on your bottom lip*
emily_strange_13: *takes off my shirt and bra, and puts my breasts in your face*
emily_strange_13: lick my nipples you stud
boom_stick9: (licks your nipples with the tip of my tongue)
boom_stick9: moving lower to your stomach
emily_strange_13: oooh yes thats it thats it
emily_strange_13: ooooooh baby im getting so aroused
boom_stick9: sucks on your stomach
emily_strange_13: oh goshh i love to have my stomach sucked
emily_strange_13: suck it hard!
boom_stick9: (puts a finger in your mouth
boom_stick9: no, you suck this
emily_strange_13: *sucks your finger*
emily_strange_13: ooh tell me what to do baby
emily_strange_13: i love that
boom_stick9: un zip my pants
emily_strange_13: wait! youre doing it all wrong!
emily_strange_13: you have to get in the sleeping bag first!
boom_stick9: then let me in
emily_strange_13: *opens my pink sexy sleeping bag for youu* jump in, you love devil
boom_stick9: thank ya baby
emily_strange_13: oh that makes me so hot
emily_strange_13: im so hard for you
boom_stick9: now un zip my pants
emily_strange_13: *unzips your pants with my teeth*
emily_strange_13: *lightly feels your crotch with my flipper*
emily_strange_13: i have a seal fetish too, i have to dress up as a seal every time i have sex
boom_stick9: ok
emily_strange_13: oh this is so hot
emily_strange_13: youre fufilling my every fantasy
boom_stick9: well why don't you stop talking and suck it
emily_strange_13: wait
emily_strange_13: ladies first!
emily_strange_13: cover me with raw fish and lick it off baby
emily_strange_13: ark ark im your lil love seal baby
boom_stick9: umm...............ok
emily_strange_13: go ahead, lick me, you sexy animal trainer, you
emily_strange_13: mmm and call me mom
emily_strange_13: i LOVE THAT
emily_strange_13: incest is so cute
emily_strange_13: *lays in small pool of water wth bucket of minced fish beside me* im waitiing hunny
emily_strange_13: hello?
emily_strange_13: sweetie?
emily_strange_13: hello? boyfriend?
Face the jury is a wonderful place to pick up tards.
AzurKel: hello there how are you ?
iUseMySeatBelt: okay, who the crap are you
AzurKel: sorry about that, im from face the jury
iUseMySeatBelt: oh, hi!
AzurKel: hey
AzurKel: how was your day ?
iUseMySeatBelt: it was awful, how was yours
AzurKel: it was okay,why was yours so awful if you dont mind telling
iUseMySeatBelt: i hit a kid on a bike
iUseMySeatBelt: with my car
AzurKel: ouch
AzurKel: is he okay?
AzurKel: or she
AzurKel: and are you okay
iUseMySeatBelt: i dunno, i drove off
iUseMySeatBelt: i heard their head crunch so im guessing they arent okay
AzurKel: ouch
AzurKel: are you afraid at this moment
iUseMySeatBelt: should i be?
AzurKel: no, it just some people take more time to get over things
iUseMySeatBelt: oh, i thought it was really really funny. infact, i peed my pants laughing.
iUseMySeatBelt: but i feel a little bad now.
AzurKel: -smiles- ouch
AzurKel: i bet the kid okay
iUseMySeatBelt: im comptemplating suicide.
AzurKel: dont
AzurKel: for what reason, because of that event
iUseMySeatBelt: okay, i wont think about it anymore, i'll just do it
iUseMySeatBelt: what is your name?
AzurKel: dont do it please
AzurKel: my real name?
iUseMySeatBelt: yes
AzurKel: kel
AzurKel: whats yours
iUseMySeatBelt: goodbye kel
iUseMySeatBelt: im Shakwan
AzurKel: where ya going?
AzurKel: hey, where did you go off to?
iUseMySeatBelt: sorry, had to get my dad's gun
AzurKel: for ever what for is someone breaking in
AzurKel: come in seriuos why do you want to kill yourself
AzurKel: big deal you hit a kid on his bike , he'll be find
AzurKel: kids today get up from worst and you know that
iUseMySeatBelt: but his head was flattened
iUseMySeatBelt: i heard it crunch under my tires
iUseMySeatBelt: the blood splattered on mmy windshield
AzurKel: yuck
AzurKel: i dont know what to say
AzurKel: umm... it was an accident
iUseMySeatBelt: see
iUseMySeatBelt: i have no reason to live
iUseMySeatBelt: goodbye Kel
AzurKel: you have plently
iUseMySeatBelt: obviously not
AzurKel: it wasnt like you did it on purpose
iUseMySeatBelt: it was an accident!
AzurKel: did this happen close to your house
iUseMySeatBelt: yes
iUseMySeatBelt: it was my brother
iUseMySeatBelt: in the driveway
AzurKel: what is in your dirve way now
iUseMySeatBelt: i dunno
iUseMySeatBelt: he's just kinda laying there
AzurKel: brb
iUseMySeatBelt: i told my mom he was playing the flat game
AzurKel: back
AzurKel: ya there
AzurKel: the flat game
iUseMySeatBelt: yes
AzurKel: im confused here
iUseMySeatBelt: about what
AzurKel: i dont know
AzurKel: so what areyou doing?
iUseMySeatBelt: actually, i just lost all bowel control. you?
AzurKel: eating
iUseMySeatBelt: fun
iUseMySeatBelt: whoa
iUseMySeatBelt: some what im hungry
AzurKel: so where were you coming from
AzurKel: when this event happened
iUseMySeatBelt: i was coming from a hike
AzurKel: in a car?
iUseMySeatBelt: yes.
the rest was lame, thats why it seemingly stops so abruptly.
Im so hot, all the boys want my body.
oatey_: sooooo u hornyh
emily_strange_13: always baybee
oatey_: u finger ur puss
emily_strange_13: what?
oatey_: are u fingerin ur self
emily_strange_13: what do you mean?
oatey_: are u touchin ur puss
emily_strange_13: oh yes